Well I didn't really know where to post this or even to post this for that matter. It's just that the holidays have always been a very depressing time for me and I guess I'm just looking for a different way around that this year. In the past the holidays have been nothing more than a reminder of great losses that I've endured. I've never openly expressed this before so I guess I'm just looking for something uplifiting or something emotionally exciting (if that makes any since...LOL) Something positive to think about other than the negatives. So any ideas or suggestions, uplifting thoughts or even questions would be very welcomed.......Thank you so much for your time.........
jwh5532

John, I know what you mean. This time of year depresses me as well. As in the month of December, I have suffered so many losses in my family, that I hate to even see it come now. Especially Christmas, cause they aren't there physically to share the day with. But, upon talking to a friend from the chatroom, it is better to remember them fondly and realize that no matter what, the family, or friends for that matter, are always with you no matter what. And, they would want us to enjoy the holidays. I was also told that I shouldn't keep reminding myself of when the loved ones passed away, by that I mean I would mark on the calendar when they departed (every year), that it would just cause more pain and sorrow. So, I decided to go in a different direction and starting next month for 2006, I will fondly remember them, but, I will not dwell on their passing, as that is not what they would have wanted in the first place, and, live the rest of my life doing (or trying to) things that make me happy and satisfy me. I hope this helps.
Take Care!
Denny

The holidays can be depressing only if you let it. Easy for me to say, huh? What I mean if you need something to look forward to look toward yourself...it is simply what you make of it. You are entitled to a happy holiday season so take it...only you can keep yourself from enjoying it. I too, just like most others, have family members I dearly miss and wish that they could be a physical part of the season but I know that the memories of seasons past will have to surfice. Just like Denny says, I know that they would not want me to be sad on their account. Don't focus on the negatives and for goodness sake turn off the news It has got to the point I just read what I want and pass on the negative issues. Is this the way to go through life? Of course not, but until I am unsensitized to a point I can read it without depressing myself I am going to continue to do it. Anyhoo, that is my two cents I wish you both a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I can't help but notice myself how many people are depressed at this time of year, either due to the holidays and the reminder of losses or due to the cold, gray weather and shorter days. What with all the stresses of the holiday season, I'm beginning to wonder if children are the only ones who truly enjoy this time of year!

One of things that might help you get through this season is to focus on the needs of others. I especially enjoy rounding up coats for the Salvation Army, toys for the toy drive, and gifts for the Giving Tree at church. At this time of year, there are many older or disabled people who are housebound due to the weather and would appreciate having someone run errands for them or having their driveway shoveled or just someone to pass the time with. Often people who have suffered a loss find comfort and peace in this type of charitable activity. Acknowledging that there are so many people who are struggling just to have their basic needs met is a reminder to appreciate what we do have.

If you are a Christian, rather than focusing on how Christmas just isn't the same without the people you've lost, perhaps you can focus on the true meaning of Christmas... the birth of Christ... and celebrate the fact that because of him, you will see your loved ones again someday. Remind yourself that they are at peace now, and they would want you to be happy and peaceful as well. After all, we are all going to get there someday, some just get there ahead of others.

If the weather is getting you down, do things that make you feel good. I like to wrap up in a warm blanket in front of the fire with a good book, a cup of hot tea, and some classical music... and absolutely nothing feels better at this time of year than snuggling under my down comforter at night; it's like a warm hug. Exercise is important to keep those endorphins flowing, so bundle up warmly, go for a walk, and try to appreciate the brisk air, the beauty of the snow on the trees (if you have snow), and all the Christmas decorations.

Another thing you might consider is doing something you wouldn't normally do during the holidays, like go on a trip someplace warm (of if you live in a warm climate, go to Colorado for a ski trip). Maybe a change of pace will give you that emotional excitement you desire.

Most important, keep replacing negative thoughts with positive ones... this has helped me tremendously.

Wishing you much peace this holiday season...

Jen

Hi JWH5532

this is my very first posting, found this site through my counsellor. i'm go to say to much about my story, because you are asking for some encouraging words to continue your healing!! i am to working extra hard to make some changes this holiday season, it's nice to hear someone else is making that same effort. do your best to remember the good this in your life, even if not many, or small, their still good things. try hard to do small acts of kindness, it will lift your spirit, and the receiver. i grow up with a brother who was very handicapped, and he had a smile for everyone, no matter who, or when. if he could do that, i guess i should make the same effort. we all make choices, and some times we think we don't have any choices (believe me when i say i've been down that road for most of my life), but we are the controls of your life. choose to make a difference for yourself, for your life, you been given it, live it. we are the only controllers of your minds. these are my thougts these days, and they really do hit home for me, i hope it encourages you this holiday season. HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, keep smiling.

As much as the season is portrayed as being "perfect," we know it really isn't. I believe that we can get through it by focusing on others, especially those in need, and just loving those around us. For me, I feel more grounded because of my faith and so the commercialism is downplayed and when Christmas is over, I don't feel depressed. If I could give some advice, it would be to let go of expectations and realize people in our lives might disappoint us or we might not have enough time to do just everything. This year my husband didn't really feel much like putting lights outside, so he just put a few on the bushes. Do we really have to keep up with the neighbors? It seems we cope with our problems better during the year and then Christmas comes and it just magnifies the fact that our lives are not perfect, and that is okay.
Noel