I feel as though I want to recover but that I have to analyze EVERY negative feeling until it is resolved. It's like--I'm won't let my self feel better until I am ALL THE WAY RECOVERED...no more fear of panic..no more limitations...feeling totally self-confident...always knowing exactly when and how to be assertive......if not then I tend to beat up on myself..Can anyone relate or give suggestions? Thanks!!;0)

Hi Felicia! Yes -- I can relate to what you are saying. I think one of the biggest problems we face is realizing that we don't have to be perfect. Not everyone is totally self-confident all of the time. Not everyone knows exactly when and how to be assertive. We all go through this life stumbling a bit, trying to find our way. When you say that you won't let yourself feel better until you are all the way recovered, what are you really saying? How do you define "all the way recovered?" It seems that my experience has been that I really started on the road to recovery when I started to acknowledge the times when I felt better -- whether that "time" lasted a long time or for only a few minutes.

I often wonder when I started chasing down the negative feelings. I don't remember doing that all of my life. If we can be so good chasing down the negatives, can't we teach ourselves how to chase down the positives? It sounds simple, and I know that it isn't as simple as it sounds. But it can be a place to start.

Be compassionate with yourself. I constantly remind myself that I didn't get this way overnight and I can't expect it to be resolved overnight. Give yourself credit for the positive things that you do to help rid yourself of problems with anxiety -- no matter how small. It is a struggle and no one knows better than you what you face every day of every week.

The best piece of advice I received, though, was a very matter-of-fact, off the cuff statement. I was told "you don't have to be anxious." That little statement had a dramatic effect. In a way I think I needed to give myself permission to let go of the anxiety. That sounds so simple but in giving up the anxiety, I gave myself permission to be human. If you are a perfectionist, this is a real key to recovery.