I want this all to go away !!! I have been seeing a councelor for 4 months , and he is okay , he is free, I cant afford anyone else !!Months ago i really felt the anxiety , i was having scary thoughts and they were consuming me, I was obsessing about everything from taking a bath to going to bed to reading a book ,I was consumed with fear, I have been reading panic to power, i have not read in a while, I feel like the more I read ,and more I talk to my councelor, the more I dwell on this ANXIETY and it consumes me , the more stuck I feel, so i have stoped seeing my concelor for now .I will finish panic to power. I still get scary thoughts ,like tonight my husband is going out to play hockey and I will be left alone with the kids, that is creating so much anxiety , i am afraid at times !! I guess what I want to know is when do you know you have done enough, when do you know if what you are doing is working or if it is not working !! I still have a hard time leaving my home far distances, yet the other night I went to the pub with my friends and had a great time !! and it was soooooo busy there and i had no ANXIETY at all, what is that about ??? My dear friend stoped by a week ago and I could not even look him in the eyes, he was so insulted,I had not seen him for so long he has had no idea that my anxiety had blown up !!! he left feeling insulted , i tried to call him to say sorry but his phone is not in service, he only has his new cell phone. I dont know if I am getting better or if I am just blanking things out !! staying still and confined in my homwe only leaving when I have to and not to far . why is it that i can seem to do things like going to the pub and having a blast , then other days I cant seem to even go for a walk !!!. I know this paragraph is a little mixed up, this is just the way I feel today , I hope someone gets it !!!
THANK YOU
MALAYA !!!!

[This message has been edited by malaya (edited 03-04-2002).]

Malaya

I do not have the answers you are looking for but I totally relate and go through the same thing. Some days are great and other days just stink! Especially around my period (which is now) and the anxiety is low grade but I just can't stand it. I guess all we can tell ourselves is that it took along time to get to this point and it may take a long time to re-learn how to think more positivly. I know my reply hasn't helped you but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Silvana

I think it varies from day to day because some days we are more relaxed and easier on ourselves (more present) than others. The days when we are in our heads tend to be more stressful. It is kind of like they say if you saw an auto accident and realized it was your child in the car and you needed to save them, you wouldn't be standing around analyzing the situation. You wouldn't think twice about jumping in and doing what you needed to do. That is being totally abosrbed in the moment and out of your head.