You know, it seems it was just a few days ago that I answered a post that had something to do with face-to-face meetings. Well tomorrow I have my 90-day review on my new job and the prospect of a face-to-face with my supervisor has had me on edge all day. Its really interesting to see how our bodies respond to the messages put forth by our minds. I even received a "preview" of my job evaluation on Friday and all involved are very happy with my work. There's nothing to be concerned with, right?

I sat back and tried to figure out why I was responding this way. Perfectionism? Fear of failure? In a comfort zone? Possibly all of the above? It seems that the need to be perfect ranks right up there at the top. What if I freak out while I'm sitting in my supervisor's office? Will he think less of me? When I really got to thinking about it, it appeared to be that old negative thinking rearing its head when I am most vulnerable. Its like an old record where the grooves are really deep. The bad habit has been practiced over and over and over until it becomes second nature. Breaking the habit can at times feel exhausting. It can also feel exhilarating!

It seem that lately there have been several posts from members who are frustrated because they have suffered from panic attacks or increased levels of anxiety when they had been feeling better for a while. Maybe its just another bad habit that we haven't quite gotten rid of. Maybe too its just another area where we need to grow. I think I'll go to sleep tonight holding on to that thought. Tomorrow will be a growth day. In the meantime, tonight will be a Relaxation Tape night!

Mountaingirl

CONGRATULATIONS on making it through to your 90 day review!!! I have no words of wisdom for you - just the advice you've probably already given yourself a hundred times.

BREATHE (one thousand), BREATHE (one thousand), BREATHE (one thousand).....

Good Luck. I'll be praying for you.

CC

Mountaingirl -

Good for you for doing such a great job!

I can only tell you from my experience from giving reviews that I have never judged a person during the review. You are not being reviewed on that specific moment - you are being reviewed for the past 90 days.
It makes no difference how you react as long as you try to be open to constuctive criticsm - welcome it, if you can. It is the only way we can grow in our job. And if you feel nervous - so what!!! It doesn't make you any less of a worker - it actually shows you care about the work you are producing for the company.

Good luck! I know you will do great!

Thanks for the support! YOu know, I woke up this morning and immediately went to thinking about meeting with my supervisor. I turned on Tape 12 and listened to comments on that tape such as "there's that darned door. Are you going to step through it?" "I can't get frustrated when the old thinking reappears." "What are you going to do now that anxiety is holding you back?" All such good points. I must remind myself to stay in the present. Its amazing how different things look when you stay in the present!!! I also reminded myself that I made a promise to myself to never again give an excuse for my anxiety. If I'm anxious -- then I'm anxious.

So...to make a long "post" short -- I will stay in the moment, will step through the door, will not let anxiety bother my peace of mind today.