My Dr understands my not wanting to be on any meds, and knows I tried to ween off of .5mg of Ativan that I take every day, but after the last bout of cluster panic attacks, he gave me 1/2 tablet of Klonapin both am and pm.I also still take the .5 mg of Ativan at night. I am calming down a lot and use my tapes every night. I am though feeling really depressed lately. According to the work book I have struggled with mild to moderate depression for a long while, but I busy myself so I dont even realize it until I think "when was the last time I really had a great time?"

Here is my struggle. I was using the program, weening off of the ativan, had a terrible bout of cluster attacks for 12 hours at a time, and now I am on 2 meds and possibly a third to help deal with the depression. This really seems to go against what the tapes say I should be doing. I cannot deal with the cluster attacks, and now my body needs all this med to feel relaxed. I trust my doc, but I also see the validity off the program. I am so confused and discouraged. Can someone shed some light on this for me?

Vickie,

I know your feelings on this one and I just want to encourage you that meds are ONLY temporary! I know that right now you feel you need them and maybe you do but you won't for long.

Ativan, Xanax and Klonopin don't do anything for depression!! In fact, it is my understanding that these drugs can cause depression if you are on them long enough.

My suggestion to you would be to try an SSRI anti-depressant. Something that works for both problems and wean off the Ativan and Klonopin all together. That way you would only be on one med instead of 3.
There are lots of SSRI's to choose from and it may take some time to find the right one that will work properly for you, so prepare yourself for some trial and error work with them. You will also have to be willing to put up with some uncomfortable side effects for the first 3-4 weeks before the med takes effect.

That would be my short term advice to you!!

However, my long term advice would be to really work on your thoughts!! Start finding out what's really being said in your mind and begin to challenge those thoughts!! Learn to argue with yourself effectively!! And make sure you don't stop arguing until you settle on the TRUTH!!
Always tell yourself the truth!! This makes a huge difference.

quote:

According to the work book I have struggled with mild to moderate depression for a long while, but I busy myself so I dont even realize it until I think "when was the last time I really had a great time?"

I just want to say that when you realize you think these things...it's a good time to argue with yourself !!!!

Your response to yourself in the above quote could be like this:
"it's been a while since I had a great time, but that's OK. I am learning to overcome this problem and I will overcome it IN TIME. I can allow myself to feel this way for a little while. Things will not always be this way and they will change as I learn more. I am doing VERY good and I am working VERY hard. I am proud of myself today".

You know...I always let my thoughts think whatever came into my mind and it has caused me more harm than good. No more will I let my thoughts rule me!! Bad thoughts create bad feelings!! So CHANGE THEM!! Slowly...one at a time.....don't give up and you'll be there as long as you live DAY BY DAY!! Don't look too far ahead and don't look back unless you are going to look at your accomplishments!! I suggest writing in a journal everyday so you can look back and remember where you were. It's encouraging to see how far you've come!

I am having a very hard time with negative thinking. I dont even see it. My husband has been with me through this whole process and has listened to the tapes right along with me, I feel like I am just not "getting it" yet. It sounds simple, yet I feel like positive self talk is lying to myself. Just the opposite of what it is. I have to change this soon as I have 4 daughters who will be just like me if I don't change. There I go again, negative and what if thinking.

Anyways thank you for always being on the forum alert! You have a lot of encouraging words for people like me.
Vickie

HI,

I agree with SMears on maybe switching to a
SSRI. They are for depression and finding the right one might be the ticket. We all don't like the idea of medication, who does?
I didn't like it but I found that I needed to take the medication so I could con-
centrate and comprehend the program. You can worry about getting off the medication
later as you keep learning the skills. I too
didn't think I was getting it. Practice is key and not trying to do it perfectly or all
in one jump. Be patient and don't beat yourself up. Another thing I figured out was
that I thought I was'nt hearing everything or getting everything- believe me I found that a part of me was listening and it comes back as you practice.
It sounds like you have a wonderful family around you-that is good.It is good that you want to do this. You are heading in the right direction. Good luck and be
positive.