I have been off Prozac for 2 months, and I have to say that I've been rather depressed. I went off Prozac to be drug-free for a better chance at a successful pregnancy, even though my doctors do not think Prozac has anything to do with my 3 miscarriages last year.

Happily, today is the first day I haven't felt depressed in 2 months! It's wonderful!

I wants to share something that I found helpful. I really believe that my depression is chemical, and that is why Prozac helps me so much. The tapes have helped me control my anxiety greatly, and that allowes me to keep depression from keeping me from living a productive life.

But I started thinking of my depression as sort of a "cold," instead of a mental problem. I realized I didn't want to take medication, but I did treat myself with compassion and "baby" myself by feeding myself well (even though I had no appetite) and getting myself enough sleep, and allowing myself to feel sad and float through it.

Let me know if this helps anyone. It made me feel less "faulty."

Helen

Hi Helen!
I think it is a good way to view depression. I have a history with it myself. As a matter of fact, I was on Prozac during both my pregnancies ( I was afraid I "needed" it or I'd go crazy and I wanted what was best for my child ) and they both seem to be very healthy beautiful children. I actually nursed while taking Prozac with my first born. This time around, my doctor had me change it for nursing reasons. That kind of freaked me out and when I asked why she said there were a few reports of fussier babies and that was about it. No big deal, just a safer drug for nursing. I have been off antidepressants for about 3 months now. I have been very depressed but I feel it's my thinking habits that cause my depression. I don't think mine is a chemical imbalance, it is the way I allow things to bother me. That is why I am doing the program. I hope it all works out for you!! Good Luck!!

Thanks Joy! I'm glad to hear that you had healthy pregnancies on Prozac. I had 3 miscarriages last year, 2 of which were tubal. (I only lost one tube, though.)

I was afraid my weakness by needing a drug was harming these babies. Even though my doctor didn't think that was it. However, he did encourage me to go off Prozac.

I have been taking prozac for 2 1/2 years now. It seemed to help up until last fall. That's when I decided I needed to increase the dosage. Note, I say "I" decided. I went to see a psychiatrist and she basically didn't help a bit. I told her what to do and she did it. Anyway, the higher dose didn't help so I reduced it back down to my normal 20 mg. Now recently I have been thinking about why I get depressed and I don't think it is chemical like I once had thought. I get depressed because of the following reasons:

I have not been in a meaningful, loving relationship with a man in a long time. Actually, I have never been in love. (I am 32!!!) Like a scene from Ally McBeal, Cage says to Ally, "I thought you didn't need a man?" Ally replies, "I don't, I WANT one!" Well, that's me.

Secondly, I have been to college twice and have yet to figure out what I want to do with my life. I work at Safeway and although it pays well for what we do, it's not rewarding or challenging. Well, it's challenging dealing with all the customers but that's not really a good challenge.

Thirdly, I feel like I am missing out on so much in life. I have very few friends although everyone at work loves me. I just seem to have trouble with one on one friendships. I therefore, don't do a whole lot and feel like life is passing me by. I spend time working in my yard (I bought a house last year), I work out alot....I run, hike, lift weights, etc., but other than that; I work and come home at night.

My point is, could any amount of prozac really help me NOT be depressed? I think my depression is situational and I need to "fix" the situations. I have come to accept that I am just not meant to be with a man. Honestly, I have been alone so long now that I cannot imagine it. I have my house, my cats, and my ways of doing things. So, maybe I won't ever fall in love. I have therefore, decided to try and do other things. I am currently looking into volunteering with the elderly and also with animal rescue.

As far as my career and making friends. It's not like I haven't tried. I've gone to career counselors, I'm currently taking a Career Exploration course at the community college......and I've tried many activity groups to try and meet people. They just don't seem to work too well for me. The last one was going okay but then I realized, this groups drinks way too much and therefore, I was starting to. I am looking for an ACTIVITY group, people to do "stuff" with, not to drink with.

So, it's not that I haven't tried, believe me, I have. So now I am thinking I should just accept things for the way the are. Am I making sense? I'm not saying I should quit trying but instead of driving myself crazy because my life isn't what I want it to be.....start accepting what I have.

Does anyone have any input on this whole thing....the prozac? I would think that if a psychiatrist talked to me long enough they would agree that my depression is not chemical but rather, situational. I ran out of prozac yesterday and am going to the doctor (medical) Friday. I could ask him to call a prescription in but am thinking of going off of it and just using the program. I haven't received it yet; I just ordered it yesterday. Speaking of the program, everyone talks about anxiety in the forum and not much about depression. I hope this program is right for me.

Gee, thanks for listening....anyone who got through my whole note. I type fast so am able to ramble on quite well!!!!

Kristie

Kristie, I swear you've basically repeated my life over the past year(except for the cats, which I don't have). I'm single and 35, no man either and I've wondered myself if my depression is situational, but I'm not sure. I just can't figure out what happened to my attitude. I used to love living alone, sprucing up the place, etc. But when the anxiety started, my whole mindset changed. Actually, who knows which happened first, I've been trying to figure that out for a year. But suddenly, I hated being alone, it seemed so sad, my life seemed stuck in a rut. Just work and home. Nothing to come home to. It never bothered me before. I was in a relationship, but it wasn't that great and it ended. I thought my job was totally boring but at least it was non-stressful and paid really well. I still think I need a different job. I used to say to myself all the time when it started "is this as good as it gets?" just like in the movie. I just didn't see my life going anywhere. So, I went out and tried all kinds of activities... I went and played bingo with the elderly, I sang Kareoke, I took golf lessons, I tried to quit smoking (lasted 3 months), I joined an on-line dating service, I bought presents at Christmas for charities. I have to say that all those things only gave me a short-term "happy feeling." I believe my real problem is lack of self-esteem and unfulfilled goals. I thought by this time in my life, I'd be married, successful, yadda, yadda. The whole enchilada and I think I just became disillusioned with life. I used to have panic attacks in meetings at work, when I used to be a great speaker in front of people for years and so that crushed me big time. I'm better, but I'm not near where I want or used to be. I don't cry at the drop of a hat anymore, but I tell you, this experience sure has changed me. I want to come out a better person, but I'm just not sure how to get there. Therapist says we need to keep working on self-esteem so that's what I plan to do. I really think ACCEPTANCE for how your life is right now is the key though. I used to say "I'll be happy when... I have this, get that, do this.. I should be GRATEFUL for all that I have. So each day when I wake up and I used to say "oh no, another day..." instead I try to think of 5 things that I'm grateful for, like my comfortable bed, that I got a decent night's sleep, that the sun in shining, etc. That seems to help a little.

I'm not on any meds, but the psychiatrist wanted to put me on anti-deps. 8 months ago for panic disorder. He told me then I have a 50-50 chance of getting better on my own. I chose the non-med road. I am taking St. John's Wort and I've been seeing a therapist for about 8 months. The anxiety is better, but I'm still down some days. They say once the anxiety diminishes, a lot of people feel depressed. I think that's where I'm at and I'm working on it.

JBean,

I just returned from the Senior Center right now. I am considering volunteering in helping the elderly with grocery shopping, bills, etc. Sounds like you and I have tried very similiar things to try and bring ourselves some joy.

Have you ever seen this?
"Dance Like No One's Watching":

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then, we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - REAL LIFE. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then, life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."


This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with...and remember that time waits for no one. Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring,until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die -- to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.


Thought for the day...
Work like you don't need money,
Love Like you've neverbeen hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.

Kristie

Dear Kristi,

Great post...do you want to share it in the newsletter? It sounds like you have read some of my favorite guru's Dyer by chance?

I also recommend Carlson's book, YOU CAN BE HAPPY...No Matter What...

Also, for those who are trying to clarify, redefine, find their dreams...Lucinda's new book would be a wonderful gift to self: LIFE WITHOUT LIMITS.

Thank you all for supporting each other-what a wonderful time in technology we live in! Positively, Carolyn

Thanks for your replies, everyone!

I've just been digging around this web-site and I have what might seem like a strange suggestion. I'm 36 and have been married for over 10 years and have known my husband for 22 years. I also had problems with one on one friendships but I just want to tell you to hang in there.

I started attending a small church near my home and was totally welcomed there with open arms. (I was absolutely afraid to go to church because of everything you hear from people who DON'T go to church!) After a couple of months of attending church, I was approached by one of the women who was interested in one of the volunteer opportunities that were going on at that time. After an afternoon of working together, I literally had found my 'soul-sister'. We have been best friends for going on 5 years now and it's like we've known each other forever. The things that she & I have in common (including anxiety, depression and childhood traumas) are uncanny. I know with all of the different things that you're involved in, someone is most definitely going to show up in your life. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband but there are some times that you just gotta have a gal-pal to share things with. You might want to consider attending a church near you. Not only did I learn about a loving God (who really does love us), I am convinced that He brought me there to meet my very best friend (which up until 5 years ago, I wasn't sure that there was such a being). Good luck to you.

Thanks for the feedback. I have tried church as well.......didn't give it much of a chance though. Maybe I will try it again and will keep trying other things. I do feel much better however, since I have decided that maybe I WILL be alone and won't ever get married and have close friends. Don't get me wrong, I have a few good buddies and tons of friends at work. But no best friend. But since I have accepted the fact that maybe I never will meet "Mr. Right", I feel much better. Maybe if I quit trying to meet people it will happen more naturally, like it did for you.