............But this destructive pattern of behavior will eventually take its toll on me IF I DON'T STOP! Smoking and Drinking!

I'm new, and I'm lonelyonly, because I have no family, or TRUE friends, and I want to feel better about myself.

I'm obsessed with thoughts of death, and am amazed every morning when I awake, I do thank God however!

I drink a pint of alcohol EVERY NIGHT, and wake up go to work and am fine all day until I have to come home to nothingness!

I've tried other support groups but I have a hard time fitting in with "normal" people. Most people I know are content with their lives, with family members, and social activities, but I stand out like a sore thumb, because I can't relate to these experiences.

I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm very different and unique, and God placed me here, knowing how my life would turn out, but to be so challenged at everything I attempt to do is getting old.

I'll be 51 next month, and I never have anyone to celebrate ANYTHING I do! I hope I don't come off as sounding like I feel sorry for myself, but I just want help to combat this lonliness that is VERY REAL.... and not imagined!

I need someone who has been there and understands what it's like being a heavy drinker and smoker.....

Anyone?..... Please.....!

Hi Lonelyonly,

I am sorry to hear that you don't have any family or friends. Hopefully you will find friends here on the forum because we all are going through anxiety and depression together. You will find lots of support here.

I don't know what it is like to be a heavy drinker or to be a smoker so I can't help you there but I can say that when my anxiety (panic attacks) began in January, I was very unhappy and thought each and every day that I was going to die. My husband kept trying to tell me that I wasn't but it is hard to get that through our heads when we are dealing with the anxiety and depression.

Do you have the program? I worked through it -- not the whole way through yet but noticed that once I changed my negative thinking to positive thinking (which is a challenge) I started to feel better about myself. Now there are days that I am very negative or feel as if I can't get through the day but I try to change that thinking as soon as I can. It takes time and energy but we are here for you.

I would like to be your friend and please feel free to send me a private message or an email to CHERIELSMITH@COMCAST.NET and I can help support you.

Take care,
Cherie

Lonleyonly
First of all, you are talking to the worlds super human recluse. I started into the cycle of drinking at night because I was lonely. Guess what, it makes you feel loneler! As for me it effected my organs! I had to learn the lonliness is a state of being, not a state of mind. I so very much encourage you to stop and live the gift of life. Easier said than done. You are only 51! 40 is now the new 20! So that makes you 31!

I am always avaiable to talk. Steve

lonelyonly,

Have you tried AA meeting? If not, try to find one, they can be lifesavers. If you have gone to meeting before, try them again. The people there are not "normal" and they won't judge you. The people my brother met thru AA meetings are his extended family and he says without them, he doesn't think he would have survived. Please give it a try, and there is always someone here to talk to.
Take care,
Kelly

so sorry to hear you're so lonely, I too know what lonliness in all about. I lived alone for some time before finally meeting my husband. I've suffered with depression and anxiety disorder for over 30 yrs and I was very fearful of being alone. Thank God I now started this program hopefully this will be the answer but I'm aware its a lot of hard work and time to do this course and for it to be benifical to me.
You can contact me anytime. I live in Canada and I'd love to be your friend.
God Bless,
Glenda

lonelyonly
My husband is a very heavy drinker and was a heavy smoker. He is a lonely person only right now because he choose to be. He quit smoking as of 7/26/06 with the commit lozanges. He has started going through the program and is seeing a difference. You are drinking to cover the wounds inside you. Try volunteering for a worthy cause. This will get you out and help with your self esteem. Try tapering off on your drinking by one drink a night and slow down on your smoking wait another 15 minutes till the next one. Keep track. The only way to get past the alone feelings you have is to reach out. When you do you break down the wall you have put up to protect yourself from being hurt and alone people will reach back if you let them. I know that you have many skills and gifts that you are not using. I know that you are unique and God gave you those skills and gifts to use. So get out there and do it. The only one stopping you is you.

Chain smoker here, about a pack and a half a day. I want to stop but with my nerves so bad I am worried I will just explode! I don't drink because of growing up around alcoholics but my husband is a recovering drunk, I don't mean alcoholic because he was worse, a 12 pack every night and between 18 and 24 on his day off. We are both in recovery and are here for you any time you need. You can e-mail me at rene98@att.net and if you are on Yahoo we can even chat. I am on yahoo at work all day so I am available most times.
You are going through one of the toughest times of your life but you have also made a huge step in coming here. You will be in my prayers. We are always here when you need us.

lonelyonly,

I am sorry to hear that you are so sad. I wanted to let you know that I have been there to. I was a heavy drinker and a addicted smoker for a long time. I alway came across as a strong, funny, outgoing, confident person. It was all a show I was really insucure, scared, and lonely. I did have a lot of friends and they all did the same thing. See the thing is even having all those friends never made me feel happy. One day I realized that something had to change. That I needed to stop hidding behind all of my addictions and deal with the things that made me unhappy. It was a very hard ride and it does take a long time. I realized that I had to be okay with myself before I could be okay with anybody else. Once I made the decision to get better and started to deal with my insucurites I got straight with the lord and then gave myself something to believe in something to look forward to. It dosnt matter what it is give yourself something to look forward to. like learning how to play the guitar or getting a pet that you have to take care of that loves you or read an inspirational book. The good news is that you want to get better and so you will, you might slip a little make sure you pick yourself up if you need anything there are tons of great people here that will help you. Remember god is there to help you just need to invite him in and ask for the help. Good luck and keep your head up.

Skie

lonleyonly,
i am sorry that you are lonley and drink and smoke. i know how you feel on drinking. i drink for a long time. i was in the military and it was ok to do that. they did't see drinking as anything bad. as long as you passed the urine test and was not on drugs.
i quit in 85. i was on the way home from germany.i had partied for weeks. this was the last overseas assignment. iwas going to one more duty station and then retire. i was at the airport. and was waiting for the flight home.they changed the gate and i almost missed the plane.i quit just like that. GOD was the one that took the desire away from me. he loves us even when we do things we should not do.
smoking. i can now say ewwww.lol. how nasty. i tell you how i did it..its a positive thing. i was standing around the fire outside at the campground. i had a whole pack of cigarettes. i asked GOD to take the desire away from me. i was tired of coughing and tired of the smell.my wife was inside the camper. i went and got her. i told her to come outsied.. she said i don't want you to go to the store and get more. i said no. thrown them in the fire. we did and parayed and GOD took the desire away. we had moved her not to long before that. we found a church and its great.
i wish you the best of luck. this is also my email address. take care and GOD BLESS..

thought for the day. ( don't look for a way out. look for a way to make it work...
don