I struggle with OCD, social phobia, depression, and anxiety. I learned a long time ago that alcohol would temporarily releave the symptoms. As a result I became an alcoholic. I have not been able to connect with AA because the confrontations and social activity raises the anxiety I feel from my other problems. I feel like I'm bettween a rock and a hard place. Can anyone relate? I'm in week 11 of the program right now and am doing some better. But I don't know if I'll ever be able to connect with AA. Has anyone been through this and succeeded?

tjax2,

I know it can be hard. I suffered from agoraphobia, I could not even leave my house I was so terrified.

I never used alcohol to calm myself, but my aunt does along with xanax. This is NOT a good ideam it really is dangerous.

I understand how frightful it is to take the first steps out of our comfort zone. But as I began to think about it, I did not want to be stuck like that forever. I wanted to go out, enjoy life, enjoy things I used to like hiking, going to festivals, art fairs, concerts and I was stuck! I needed to make a change, cause it was not going to happen any other way. I HAD to just push though all the horrible feelings and just do it no matter what. I started with a trip to my doc all alone, then my husband came with me to the store and let me go and explore alone. Then I went on small, short excursion alone to the gas station, get the morning paper at the store, pick up milk or bread. I built up from every experience even though it was uncomfortable and I was scared. I started to realize that the fear and physical symptoms were not going to do me in, it just felt like it. Even if I went to get the mail at the mailbox at first, WOW that WAS an accomplishment for me. I thought I forget how to drive, that was so untrue! My negative, irrational thoughts were SO VERY untrue! Everytime I went and did something, I felt stronger and stronger, build on that. You need a foundation to start on. Conquer small fears and move up. You will be able to connect with others. Most people are just as nervous and afraid of you as you are of them! Be yourself and people will like you, if they do not, realize that you too will not like everyone you meet either! That is just life. People have their eccentric sides, their goofey sides, we are all different, thank GOD for that cause there are many qualties to admire in people, everyone is very special in their own way...you included! You probably have so much to offer as a friend, family member, you are not giving yourself enough credit!

My father was an alcoholic. I remember a couple times he was "dry". OMG! Those were great times, I really had a father. He was a loving, caring husband to my mom. It was like a fairy tale dream! But, he suffered from anxiety (nervousness as he called it) and depression. I did not understand his "nervousness" and his reason to drink until his death. Since I experience "nervousness" too, I could relate. I wish I would have helped him, he really did not need to suffer as he did, there was help. I never drank to medicate, but could understand why one would. Drinking is not the answer as it is a temporary fix...lasts only as long as you are full of liqour. You deserve better than that! Why walk around in a fog? Start to love yourself, see yourself as a person that deserves to be loved, to be free of this. Right now, it may seem hopeless, but it is not. Alcohol is a depressant, thus causing further insult to injury. You want the help, I can tell by your post, that is the first step of healing from this. (I was in alateen, a group for kids with an alcoholic parent(s).)

Call, see if you can have a support person be in phone contact, email contact or instant messaging. They are understanding people and I really think they would be more than willing to help you via off meeting sites. There are also "Dry" websites out there to help recovering alcoholics...give that a try. A counselor or therapist may be able to help you on a one on one basis. Not sure what you insurance coverage is, but you can also call your country health dept as they have sliding scale fee based help, at times they will even come to you! Do not give up. You said you are getting better, so keep going. You can do this. We are here to help. LizB

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ~*schnauzermom*~,

I also came across this webiste just now and thought of you....

http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/discussion_list.asp?boardID=18412

Hope this can help you in your road to healing.

tjax2,
Sometimes change or the thought of change makes us feel uncomfortable. We have created certain patterns that make us feel safe, but I have found that in order to be free from anxiety you have to face your fears and go through uncomfortable situations, and that is how you gain more and more confidence. Maybe just calling AA and talking to someone and verbalizing your fears would help. They might have some suggestions other than a group setting. Facing your alcoholism is a huge accomplishment because it isn't just the alcohol but the underlying issues that alcohol covers up. My husband smoked for many years and he tried to quit so many times. Nothing he did on his own worked. Then about two months ago he decided to go the smoking cessation classes that the American Cancer Society provides, and that has been very successful for him because they explained everything he was feeling and why. When he was on his own, he would have these feelings and didn't have the tools to help him. When he tried to quit on his own, he kept going back because he felt the cigarettes helped him cope but in reality they just kept making him feel bad about himself. So you might think alcohol is helping you cope, but maybe it is just making you feel bad about yourself. It is an addiction, and I believe we all need professional help to overcome these strong addtions. I hope you don't feel like I am judging you. I know it's so very hard, but I hope you will get the help you need to start feeling better. Take care,
Noel

Hmmm.....sounds VERY familiar. I too have social & generalized anxiety, along with "major depressive disorder", and abuse alcohol to get by - I feel the same way about AA. Not currently using the program, got up to lesson 6 but lack the motivation to stick with it.

Good job on getting up to lesson 11! I wouldn't feel as though AA is the ONLY option for treating alcohol abuse. I've read a lot of people say AA seems too cult-like, and that they've been able to quit drinking on their own. You & I know that alcohol no longer makes us feel any better, it just numbs things for a little while. Remember the eariler parts of the program, where we're supposed to start tapering off bad habits gradually - have you tried that? Even if you can only cut back a little, it's still progress. This technique at least helped me stop having alcohol during the daytime, before about 6pm, which was a path I started down. Now I need to try to get that up to 9pm (I'm a so-called functional alcoholic, drinking heavily at night to avoid drinking on the job). I also know what you mean in regard to counseling not working, after a year of weekly therapy and various presciption drugs, I too turned to alcohol. Right now I'm thinking I still need to be trying out anti-depressants, as I have no motivation to restart the program - might be an option you should consider as well.

Dear tjax2, I've not been through a case similar to yours. I do not drink--except for the wine during church. But, reading your post hit another chord with me. Feeling like being between a rock and a hard place. I have a friendship like that. It's very difficult. Do you have anybody that you can talk to about your situation? I'm sure there's got to be a way to handle this besides AA. Or, it seems like there should be. Maybe a priest, a counselor, somebody who's been through your situation? I'm glad that you're making progress with the Program. That's a plus right there. I will pray for you. I hope that you will be able to find the help that you need. Take care.

I am telling this to scare you but alcohol slowly kills your organs and reaps havoc on your digestive system. Simple medications in combination with alcohol are so detrmimental. I am sure this is something that you already know. I know how you feel and how the alcohol temporarilly numbs your system.

Hi tjax2 I too many yrs ago Used alchol to self medicate I went to AA all that and didnt relate to alot of the jargain and storys! I think there's a difference between addiction and dependance and self medicating! I always looked at the anxiety disorder as the primary and alchol as secondary to it.. so when you treat the primary the secondary gets treated too..They have there own 12step program etc..BUt i just didnt get it i still think its a chicken and egg thing I mean not everytime did i pick up a drink and it led to 1000 drinks so I'm not sure id call myself and alcholic they have a saying 1 isnt enough and 1000 is to many or something well ive had 4 drinks and stopped before so? but if my social anxiety is bad sure ill have 20 then but only to get comftorable not because i liked it?? IM

oh and i havnt drank in 8yrs ! No AA

I too am an alcoholic and actually tried a few AA meetings but did not like them. I decided to see what else is available and happened upon a book titled "7 Tools to Beat Addiction" by Dr. Stanton Peele. I just finished chapter 2 this evening and really like where Dr. Peele is going so far.

Normally I have about 6 shots, sometimes more, of vodka on the rocks each night and have done so for over 10 years. However, tonight I was so engrossed in the book that I forgot about having them and thought maybe this could be my first day of recovery. That prompted me to pour out what I had on hand to get rid of any temptation.

Well, that thought went south when I decided to see what withdrawals I might experience and discovered that someone that has drank this long may very well experience Delirium tremens (the DT's). That can potentially be fatal in a long-term heavy drinker so, as you might imagine, anxiety set in. I also live alone and wondered if this did happen would I be able to dial 911? More anxiety. When I do try to stop I'll have someone stay with me for a week or so just in case.

I'm sober tonight since it was too late to go to the store by the time I figured all this out.

My question is has anyone with a long drinking history experienced the DT's during withdrawal? I'd even like to know if you did not. If so what was it like? I am sure it is a different experience for different people.

Yes, I also have the AA&D program but have not gotten the motivation to start it just yet.

Regards.

quote:

Originally posted by Randy Biffany:

quote:

Originally posted by tjax2:
I struggle with OCD, social phobia, depression, and anxiety. I learned a long time ago that alcohol would temporarily releave the symptoms. As a result I became an alcoholic. I have not been able to connect with AA because the confrontations and social activity raises the anxiety I feel from my other problems. I feel like I'm bettween a rock and a hard place. Can anyone relate? I'm in week 11 of the program right now and am doing some better. But I don't know if I'll ever be able to connect with AA. Has anyone been through this and succeeded?

Please contact me via this email I have gone through what you're going through for 15 years now. It has ended my career as a copywriter and teacher and after 25 detoxes and 12 programs I am trying this one. This is it for me, I do not have any other hope. Is it working for you? I could use your advice and possible friendship/support before I lose it all.

tjax2,

I can so relate. I relied on alcohol since I was 15, despite the fact that my achievements in my curriculum, sports, civic activities, arts and music seemed quite impressive - they were completely impossible without alcohol. My whole life up theough college was contingent upon booze. It only escalated from there throughout my advertisng career until I was destroyed and became homeless and of course lost everything including my beautiful wife, home, car, friends, family and everything. Bottom line? Severe anxietyrabiffany@sbcgloba.net and depression. Finally, now I think there is an answer after 15 years of treatment. Perhaps with corresponding with others like yourself we can together find a cooperative answer. Please contact me, and vice versa if we can help each other. There are so many outstanding, talented, creative people like ourselves that need to connect.

american approach to alcoholism is not really a good thing. AA advocates "all or nothing" and states alcoholism is a disease. first of all, it would scare alcoholics and they would probably say, "i'm not that, i will never be that, so i must be damned". approaches in other countries have statistically found good results, like telling an alcoholic about, first to set a goal like "i will try not to be abusive to my family and friends when i'm drunk" that makes them feel better, just take that step, same logic as this program discusses about anxiety and agorophobia. setting a simple goal like that actually made heavy drinkers to cut down on alcohol significantly. again, like this program discusses, if you scare people and label people with things they tend to shut down on you.

I can relate,
Thats just silly!!! You ever tried to tell an alcoholic when they are drunk or sober, to not be so abusive of thier family?
First of all, when they are drunk, they dont remember when they are sober WHAT they did!!
Alcoholism has been proven to be a disease!
The same with drug addicts, you really think you can tell a drug addict to be "nice" when they arent using? lol
The person admitting they HAVE a problem is the first part of recovery! Ignoring it, or trying to sweet talk someone into NOT using drugs or alcohol has NEVER worked! If it did, we wouldnt have such a problem with alcoholism or drug addicts! Until the Person themselves realizes and says, I HAVE A PROBLEM and NEED HELP, they will continue doing just what they are doing...

Mello Nello,

I couldn't have said it better !!!!!!!!!!!

Take care. DeeDee.