Prozac vs. Lucinda�s Program

Hey, all. I�ve been looking for people to talk to about this, but no one around here really seems to know what it�s like, so I thought I would post a message and see what kind of response I get.

I�m 29 and have been on Prozac (�Zac, as I affectionately call it) for ten years. I first started having panic attacks back in high school and had no idea what was going on. I was seriously freaking out. They lasted until university (I�m still not sure how I made it through). You know all the symptoms. Mine got to the point where I was terrified of making a fool of myself in public, so I would just flee to the nearest washroom, hide out in a stall, usually have a brutal bowel movement, and just stare at the stall door, wondering what I had done to deserve this. I hated God for giving this to me, hated myself, hated everything. Eventually I went to see a doctor who put me on 80 mg of �Zac. I didn�t know this at the time, but I was seriously overmedicated and this caused extreme Gastro-Intestinal Distress, something that someone with social anxiety sure as hell doesn�t want.

Anyway, I got a copy of Lucinda�s program and went through it. Unfortunately, I didn�t actually do any of the things she said, mainly because I didn�t think I deserved positive self-dialogue. I thought that I needed to be extremely hard on myself. So I went through it, learned a bit, ignored most, and then it sat in my closet for ten years gathering dust.

Back in May of 2004, I told a friend of mine about what I was taking, and she suggested I try lowering the dose to 60 mg. So I did, and suddenly, boom, my GI distress was gone. I couldn�t believe it. I felt good about everything else, too. Losing the GI distress was a huge, huge breakthrough for me. I felt like I had been ripped off by my doctor for overmedicating me for so long. Then I decided, �Well, let�s see what happens if I go to 40.� So I went to forty and felt okay. Then twenty. Then anxiety reared its ugly head and I went back to sixty.

I came across the program in my closet and debated going through it. Then, one day � and this was a huge turning point for me � I was dejected at how I looked in the mirror, but instead of saying �fattie� as I usually did (I�m not even fat), I replaced it with �cutie.� I just decided I had had enough of the terrible self talk. Wow, it�s even difficult to write that.

So I threw myself into Lucinda�s program with wreckless abandon, doing everything, listening to the tapes three or four times before moving on.

At around tape seven or eight I started feeling really good and decided to try ending the Prozac again. No, I didn�t consult my doctor (hell, all he did was meet with me every 10 months and fill out a prescription). But I went off of it in a controlled, prescribed manner and now here I am. I�m through with the program, I�m off medication.

Now that I�m off (for about a week and a half), I�m starting to wonder about going back on. I feel very, very good, but there are still issues. I don�t know how I feel about always having to wage a battle inside my head about telling myself to feel better. Or telling myself that I don�t have to run away, that everything is �no big deal�, etc. There were definitely some serious backlashes to ending the medication. I broke down crying more than once, broke out giggling uncontrollably at my doctor�s appointment, and spent an entire weekend in bed because I didn�t see any point to getting out.

I also feel that my shield that protected me from the big, bad, ugly world is gone, and I�m not as much up to facing it as I think I should be. I�m not doing as much as I want to be. I�m turning down invitations to movies, I don�t want to leave the house as often as I probably should, I�m making excuses not to do things, etc. I think I�m sort of afraid of taking on the world without my medication, even though I know I can do it now.

I talked to a different doctor about Lucinda�s program and how anxiety is not a disease, how you�re not sick, and how it�s all about how you think. He sort of looked at me like I was kind of crazy. I would just like to say that I have the utmost respect for this doctor. He�s very anti-medication (he believes that much of it is overprescribed) but thinks that if I was very happy back on �Zac, there�s no reason not to be on it now. Again, you can see the dilemma.

The thing is, I feel far far better than I ever did ten years ago without the program. But I�m wondering if it�s enough. Some days (like today) I feel like I can take on the world, and other days I feel that a snowflake will cause me to break down. I�m torn between the two approaches.

Do I go back on the medication to get my life back to 100%? Or do I live at, say, 90%, medication free? Is it better to have a stiff upper lip and fight through it, or is it better to just take the �Zac and be happy? Do I live through life worried that another panic attack might be just around the corner, but with my head held high, knowing that I�m off the medication, or do I just accept that I will probably have to be on it for the rest of my life? Granted, I�ve only been off of it for a week and a half, and, say, getting to a 100% positive drug free life would be ideal, but I�m not sure I want to go down a road which is fraught with anxiety and depression knowing that I might never even get there. I think I�ve suffered enough. Heh, there I go, being a self-aggrandizing martyr.

I�ve asked a lot of my friends, and I�m actually stupified by some of their answers. Some are great, some are not so great, and others are so wildly misguided that I broke out laughing after the conversation was over. My second doctor told me not to bother asking other people their opinions because how I feel can�t be shared by anyone else, and he�s right. And yet I can�t seem to stop from asking. Better listen to Being Assertive again�or maybe the whole program again.

Anyway, if you�ve read this far I�m very grateful. If you bailed earlier I don�t blame you. Er, but if you bailed earlier you wouldn�t be reading this part anyway. I guess I needed to write this out for myself, hence the plus-thousand word count.

Does anyone have any thoughts about this?

Cheers,

-d-

Sounds like an internal battle to be solved only by yourself. If you let others make/influence this decision for you, then you might regret it one day. If you are asking if any of us have this same debate inside our heads, then my answer is YES!! That is why I have gone on and off Zoloft for the past ten years. As I have aged (I am 37) and realized how short life really is, I have decided that if medicine makes me feel good, I am going to take it and enjoy it.

I just thank God everyday that it is available. Could you imagine being around in the 50's or 60's without it?

I believe that positive self-talk is a huge necessity to the enjoyment of everyday life. Lucinda's program introduced this way of thinking to me and I am grateful for it too!

I wish you the best.

Nikki

quote:

Do I live through life worried that another panic attack might be just around the corner, but with my head held high, knowing that I�m off the medication, or do I just accept that I will probably have to be on it for the rest of my life?

The problem here is that you are AFRAID of a panic attack and your anxiety symptoms ! "Fear of Fear" only leads to MORE fear ! If you lose your fear of panic and anxiety then you WILL NOT have anymore panic ! The skills in this program are equipt to have you challenge the fear of your symptoms and if you use the skills to overcome your fear of panic, anxiety and anything else you fear, you will ultimately recover. It's all a matter of deprogramming your brain and reprogramming it with the right stuff.

quote:

I also feel that my shield that protected me from the big, bad, ugly world is gone, and I�m not as much up to facing it as I think I should be.

Again...you are afraid of the world without medication ! Why? Because you are afraid that "the big bad panic attack monster" is going to get you ! Fear of panic will only create more panic!

If your doctor thinks you are so "crazy" for believing what Lucinda shares in her program, perhaps you should let your doctor borrow it and also recommend to him books by Dr. Claire Weekes and Dr. Abraham Low and many, many more. There are many excellent doctors out there in the world but they do not all specialize in cognitive-behavior therapy and they do not all specialize in anxiety disorders.

You are in control of your life. You are in control of whether or not you take meds. It's your CHOICE.

Just my thoughts....

Yes, I guess I am afraid of the big bad panic monster. It totally ruined five years of my life and everything that was in them: love, adventure, happiness, courage, etc. It destroyed them all. I don't know if I want to face it again.

I have to say that I agree with Nikki's bit about taking medication because it makes her feel better. I'm tired of the rollercoaster ride: "Oh, I feel good now. No, wait, no I don't. Wait, I feel terrific. No, someone kill me." It ridiculous. :|

-d-

quote:

Yes, I guess I am afraid of the big bad panic monster.

Once you decide to face the feelings of panic by using the skills in this program to overcome them, you will learn that there is NOTHING to fear. I used to think that the idea was to avoid panic at all costs.... WRONG !!!!! Facing panic and it's symptoms while using the skills will ultimately bring recovery. The mind misinterprets panic feelings as dangerous when they are merely distressing. When the mind sees those feelings as dangerous, panic mode sets in. When your mind realizes there is nothing to fear then panic turns to dust and it doesn't return. I've done the therapy myself and actually put myself into situations that caused me anxiety. I've had panic attacks in public checkout lines and I've put myself in these situations more than once in order to work the program correctly. As a result... I no longer have panic attacks ! Why? Because I have programmed myself not to be afraid of them. I have come to the realization that I can endure them. The heart begins to pound, the brain feels a bit dizzy and I always got this feeling that I needed to "run"....I learned that whether or not I "ran"...the panic cycle always ends ! The heart begins to race and then it slowly tapers off. No...it's not comfortable at the time but it's nothing to fear. I lost the fear and told myself that it was OK to have those feelings and that I didn't need to "run" anymore. By doing this over and over again...I reprogrammed myself. I don't panic anymore because I am not afraid of the panic monster !!
If I can do this...YOU CAN DO THIS ! But honestly...it's WORK and without doing the work, there is no recovery.

but...then again...you are right...there is always medication.

The panic monster is a little mouse wearing an ugly mask... DONT BELIEVE THE LIE! He's all talk and NO SHOW !

Okay, then. Answer me this: why do I continally get anxious in places when I shouldn't? I know about agoraphobic gains and that I should exam what's really bothering me, but what if I don't know what it is? Why would I get anxious when I was working out on a gym? Or if I'm going for physiotherapy on my back? Because I'm afraid of not being able to get up and leave whenever I want? Because I'm afraid of the therapist thinking that I'm weird if I just want to take off? Hmm, I may have answered my own question there.

Okay, next question: why do I care so much if she thinks I'm weird? Why can't I just let it go? Does this have anything to do with the fact that I play, review and write about videogames for a living? (yes, a dream job). Is it because I look at people around me who have become doctors and lawyers and think that I've wasted my life? (This is another on going debate). What difference does it make what I do with my life?

AND EVEN if I were to go to, say, Harvard, Yale or some other school, I know for a fact that my anxiety would follow me there. So that's not the problem.

The whole videogame bit is intrinsically related to my life with anxiety, because playing them were the only times when I wasn't anxious. I was too busy worried about falling to my death to freak out. My "safe place" at my university was the arcade.

How do you program yourself to feel better? I don't think just standing in line or going on a date or placing myself in a similarly anxious event would do anything because I've been doing it my whole life. Just saying something like, "I feel great!" isn't going to work because, as Lucinda says, I won't believe it. I can say, "Well, I'm going to let myself freak out here but I know it will pass." But I don't even want to get myself in those kinds of situations now! I would almost rather just sit here and occasionally come up for food.

Are there any surefire methods you have used to take your anxiety head-on? What are your mousetraps, so to speak? Sure, you can bait the little bastards with cheese, but if you don't have something to cut their tiny grey bodies in half, you're no further ahead.

What do you tell yourself when your heart starts to pound? Apparently my saying, "okay, I don't have to run away" isn't working as well as it should be. What were these books you were recommending? Do they have audio versions? Can I order them online? [er, that last one was a joke there].

Stupid emotions, totally out of control.

Weak smile. :

doogiet,

Okay, then. Answer me this: why do I continally get anxious in places when I shouldn't? I continually got anxious in places that I had no reason be anxious. But I searched myself constantly looking for an answer and when I didn't come up with one it frustrated my situation more. It wasn't until I realized that it was the "one" panic attack I had in my situation that caused all the other ones later on. For instance, I had a bad stress symptom pop up on me during an event like shopping. Because I misinterpreted the "stress symptom" as "something bad is going to happen"...I then programmed myself to believe that I needed to avoid putting myself in places where I had that feeling. Then everytime I went into the same place, I was reminded with a repeat of symptoms and they even worsened each time I went into the store. I literally believed that there was something wrong with the "store"...I thought..perhaps it was the lights, or perhaps the air was too dry... trust me...you seek out every possible reason why you would even fear doing something you never used to fear at all. When you don't come up with answers, it makes you think you are crazy or perhaps on your way to "crazy". Which in-turn only aggrivates your anxiety and makes it worse. It wasn't until I learned that it was my first panic experience that caused me to fear situations, places and then those feelings grew and grew and everywhere I went where I experienced those familiar sensations, I , little by little, avoided more and more places. My own self-talk about my sensations would actually CREATE THEM !! I know about agoraphobic gains and that I should exam what's really bothering me, but what if I don't know what it is? Sometimes there is NO real reason. Sometimes it's merely stress symptoms we believe to be something more serious. We misinterpret our sensations to mean something dangerous will happen when indeed they are simply stress symptoms. Why would I get anxious when I was working out on a gym? Or if I'm going for physiotherapy on my back? Because I'm afraid of not being able to get up and leave whenever I want? Because I'm afraid of the therapist thinking that I'm weird if I just want to take off? Hmm, I may have answered my own question there.

Okay, next question: why do I care so much if she thinks I'm weird? Why can't I just let it go? Does this have anything to do with the fact that I play, review and write about videogames for a living? (yes, a dream job). Is it because I look at people around me who have become doctors and lawyers and think that I've wasted my life? (This is another on going debate). What difference does it make what I do with my life? I think it's important to realize that YOU already know the answers to your questions ! You believe that what you want to do or what you are doing is less significant than someone else who has become something ( as you perceive) important. What is so wrong with what you want to do ? What a person does for a living has NOTHING to do with what kind of person they are inside. A person's job IS NOT A REFLECTION of their humanity ! Why do you care so much? Perhaps because you tell yourself that it's important what others think. Perhaps because you believe the lie that what other's think of you is more important than what YOU think of YOU.
You can overcome this with PERSISTANT, TRUTHFUL, positive, self-talk. It doesn't happen overnight and yes at first you may not believe what you tell yourself but if you keep it up, you will EVENTUALLY. Those lies are engrained in your mind and you believe them because you CHOOSE them as truth. Your mind has NO OTHER CHOICE but to believe what YOU tell it. The key is to find out what you've been telling yourself.

AND EVEN if I were to go to, say, Harvard, Yale or some other school, I know for a fact that my anxiety would follow me there. So that's not the problem. As long as you FEAR anxiety symptoms and panic symptoms, they will ALWAYS come around. Like I said...they feed off the fear. Your anxiety attacks wouldn't follow you if you were not afraid of them. Stress is part of life and stress if left unattended turns to anxiety. If you kept your stress in check, your anxiety would also dwindle.

The whole videogame bit is intrinsically related to my life with anxiety, because playing them were the only times when I wasn't anxious. I was too busy worried about falling to my death to freak out. My "safe place" at my university was the arcade. Refocusing your mind on something other than your anxiety symptoms and whether or not panic will jump out of the bushes is part of recovery. Playing video games demands your attention and focus to be strictly on the video game you are playing. You are not anxious playing video games because you are NOT thinking about anxiety symptoms.

How do you program yourself to feel better? I don't think just standing in line or going on a date or placing myself in a similarly anxious event would do anything because I've been doing it my whole life. there is a difference between just putting yourself in a position to experience anxiety over and over and having the ability to put yourself in a position WHILE talking to yourself differently at the same time. Cognitive-behavioral therapy works together. Behavior changes WHILE working on the new thinking behaviors at the same time. By doing this over and over again, you will reprogram yourself. This is how the mind works. Just saying something like, "I feel great!" isn't going to work because, as Lucinda says, I won't believe it. I can say, "Well, I'm going to let myself freak out here but I know it will pass." But I don't even want to get myself in those kinds of situations now! I would almost rather just sit here and occasionally come up for food. You must tell yourself the TRUTH ! The self-talk you shared above is short and doesn't do much convincing at all. How about.... "I feel okay. I feel those symptoms and they won't hurt me. I have felt them before and they didn't hurt me. I can allow myself to feel the fear and it will pass. I don't have to be afraid of my feelings. There is nothing to fear and I can prove it to myself by letting my feelings flow in and out." It's all about the having the ability to be your own best self-talk attorney. You must make a good case for yourself and why you should believe your new thoughts. Because your mind is so conditioned to believe the lies that it comes automatically. You will not win your new thoughts over without a fight in your mind between the lies and the truth. That's why recovery is work. It takes constant work to reach your goal of recovery.

Are there any surefire methods you have used to take your anxiety head-on? What are your mousetraps, so to speak? Sure, you can bait the little bastards with cheese, but if you don't have something to cut their tiny grey bodies in half, you're no further ahead. I literally put myself in situations that caused me anxiety and panic. I made myself do things that brought on my symptoms. Then once I felt the symptoms, I FORCED myself to do the work by telling myself the truth, even when the truth didn't feel like truth. There were many times when I didn't believe the things I told myself but as I continuted telling myself the truth, I slowly believed them. Anxiety is merely a conditioned response and it's a BAD HABIT that can be broken.

What do you tell yourself when your heart starts to pound? Apparently my saying, "okay, I don't have to run away" isn't working as well as it should be. My conversation with myself would sound like this: "oh..here it comes..I can just leave... NO !!!! I can do this! Panic won't hurt me and the feelings will taper off. THIS IS AS BAD AS IT GETS. Nothing bad will happen. The more I experience this, the more I will understand that these feelings are not going to hurt me. They NEVER lead to anything worse. THIS WILL LEAD ME TO RECOVERY" and after I am done talking to myself...even if I was shaking, I would congratulate myself for facing my fears and remind myself that I was doing the right thing and that it would lead me to recovery. I then began to change my self-talk and tell myself that it's OKAY to panic ANYWHERE, anytime and with anyone around BECAUSE I know the routine and IT NEVER HURTS ME. What were these books you were recommending? Books by Dr. Claire Weekes such as "hope and help for your nerves" and "peace from nervous suffering" as well as the book that they use in "Recovery Inc." called "mental health through will training" by Dr. Abraham Low. You can attend meetings to learn cognitive-behavioral therapy in a group setting. To learn more about them you can visit their website... http://www.recovery-inc.org I encourage you to read as much as you can about anxiety and panic. Books will educate you and remind you that you are going in the right direction for overcoming your problem. [/b]
Do they have audio versions? Can I order them online? [er, that last one was a joke there].

Stupid emotions, totally out of control.

Weak smile. :

I continually got anxious in places that I had no reason be anxious. But I searched myself constantly looking for an answer and when I didn't come up with one it frustrated my situation more. It wasn't until I realized that it was the "one" panic attack I had in my situation that caused all the other ones later on. For instance, I had a bad stress symptom pop up on me during an event like shopping. Because I misinterpreted the "stress symptom" as "something bad is going to happen"...I then programmed myself to believe that I needed to avoid putting myself in places where I had that feeling. Then everytime I went into the same place, I was reminded with a repeat of symptoms and they even worsened each time I went into the store. I literally believed that there was something wrong with the "store"...I thought..perhaps it was the lights, or perhaps the air was too dry... trust me...you seek out every possible reason why you would even fear doing something you never used to fear at all.

- I know what you mean. I need to run to Staples to get a power bar for my computer, but I keep thinking I'm going to panic when I'm there. I think you're right about it being the fear. It's not the store, it's the fear of having the panic attack. But I'm so far, far removed from where I was. I just want it gone for good.

When you don't come up with answers, it makes you think you are crazy or perhaps on your way to "crazy". Which in-turn only aggrivates your anxiety and makes it worse. It wasn't until I learned that it was my first panic experience that caused me to fear situations, places and then those feelings grew and grew and everywhere I went where I experienced those familiar sensations, I , little by little, avoided more and more places. My own self-talk about my sensations would actually CREATE THEM !!

- Yep, I know all about this.

Sometimes there is NO real reason. Sometimes it's merely stress symptoms we believe to be something more serious. We misinterpret our sensations to mean something dangerous will happen when indeed they are simply stress symptoms.

- You mean I'm upset, about, say, having a headache (or in my case, a stomach ache) and I misinterpret it to think it's the beginning of an anxiety attack?

I think it's important to realize that YOU already know the answers to your questions ! You believe that what you want to do or what you are doing is less significant than someone else who has become something ( as you perceive) important.

- Yes, I believe this. Or I go between believing it and thinking it's hogwash. But I can't seem to convince myself that it's hogwash. I just think that a friend of mine, say, who makes thousands of dollars, has a fancy car, a nice condo and a well-respected job is, well, a "better" person than me. But I wouldn't think this way about someone else. Why do I think about this about myself?

What is so wrong with what you want to do? What a person does for a living has NOTHING to do with what kind of person they are inside. A person's job IS NOT A REFLECTION of their humanity !

- Hmm, I like this sentence very much. I might copy and paste it into my aphorisms folder.

Why do you care so much? Perhaps because you tell yourself that it's important what others think. Perhaps because you believe the lie that what others think of you is more important than what YOU think of YOU.

- Why isn't this a lie? Who says it's a lie? Is it a lie because you can't please all of the people all of the time and it's foolish to even try?

You can overcome this with PERSISTANT, TRUTHFUL, positive, self-talk. It doesn't happen overnight and yes at first you may not believe what you tell yourself but if you keep it up, you will EVENTUALLY. Those lies are engrained in your mind and you believe them because you CHOOSE them as truth.

- Okay. How do I tell my brain that they're not the truth?

Your mind has NO OTHER CHOICE but to believe what YOU tell it. The key is to find out what you've been telling yourself.

- So, say, I come to finally decide that my life has as much value as the doctor's or lawyer's. How do I tell myself that I'm just as worthy?

As long as you FEAR anxiety symptoms and panic symptoms, they will ALWAYS come around. Like I said...they feed off the fear. Your anxiety attacks wouldn't follow you if you were not afraid of them.

- "This is as bad as it gets. This is as bad as it gets. Say it with me..."

Stress is part of life and stress if left unattended turns to anxiety. If you kept your stress in check, your anxiety would also dwindle.

- I'm starting to learn to take better care of myself. I think they're related.

Refocusing your mind on something other than your anxiety symptoms and whether or not panic will jump out of the bushes is part of recovery. Playing video games demands your attention and focus to be strictly on the video game you are playing. You are not anxious playing video games because you are NOT thinking about anxiety symptoms.

- Yes, I know. I just need life to be one big videogame. I honestly can't get anxious when I'm playing a game because my brain can't do two things at once. How do I get myself to not be anxious everywhere else?

is a difference between just putting yourself in a position to experience anxiety over and over and having the ability to put yourself in a position WHILE talking to yourself differently at the same time.

- I've tried the "it can't hurt me" mantra, and yet I still get anxious. I think I need to try your "this is as bad as it gets" mantra.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy works together. Behavior changes WHILE working on the new thinking behaviors at the same time. By doing this over and over again, you will reprogram yourself. This is how the mind works.

- I know, I know. It's just hard to do. Especially when you're tired. I feel a nap coming on.

You must tell yourself the TRUTH ! The self-talk you shared above is short and doesn't do much convincing at all. How about.... "I feel okay. I feel those symptoms and they won't hurt me. I have felt them before and they didn't hurt me. I can allow myself to feel the fear and it will pass. I don't have to be afraid of my feelings. There is nothing to fear and I can prove it to myself by letting my feelings flow in and out."

- Hmm, so just the one short mantra isn't enough? You mean a longer, more drawn out phrase like I'm having a conversation with myself? I'll copy and paste it...

It's all about the having the ability to be your own best self-talk attorney. You must make a good case for yourself and why you should believe your new thoughts. Because your mind is so conditioned to believe the lies that it comes automatically. You will not win your new thoughts over without a fight in your mind between the lies and the truth. That's why recovery is work. It takes constant work to reach your goal of recovery.

- Okay. I must utterly, utterly convince myself that a panic attack can't hurt me. I must convince myself beyond a reasonable doubt. Any other suggestions on how to go about this?

I literally put myself in situations that caused me anxiety and panic. I made myself do things that brought on my symptoms. Then once I felt the symptoms, I FORCED myself to do the work by telling myself the truth, even when the truth didn't feel like truth.

- I guess there's a lot of work involved.

There were many times when I didn't believe the things I told myself but as I continuted telling myself the truth, I slowly believed them. Anxiety is merely a conditioned response and it's a BAD HABIT that can be broken.

- Yes, a very destructive bad habit.

My conversation with myself would sound like this: "oh..here it comes..I can just leave... NO !!!! I can do this! Panic won't hurt me and the feelings will taper off. THIS IS AS BAD AS IT GETS. Nothing bad will happen. The more I experience this, the more I will understand that these feelings are not going to hurt me. They NEVER lead to anything worse. THIS WILL LEAD ME TO RECOVERY" and after I am done talking to myself...even if I was shaking, I would congratulate myself for facing my fears and remind myself that I was doing the right thing and that it would lead me to recovery. I then began to change my self-talk and tell myself that it's OKAY to panic ANYWHERE, anytime and with anyone around BECAUSE I know the routine and IT NEVER HURTS ME.

- Okay, anxiety is also caused by external stressors, like fatigue. Time for a nap.

-d-

Hello......boy oh boy can I relate. I've been in your battle and am now out feeling great. I stopped reading after it got lengthy because this discussion is nothing new. For some reason, some people can not accept that this program just does not work for everyone and we can just let it be at that. My opinion based on my own road and others I've seen is meds and cog work are the best combo. Hooray for those who dont' need the meds. But I thank thank thank thank that they are available! So, I will now tell you what I finally told myself because at the end of the day only "YOU" suffer or reap the rewards.

" THE ROUTE TO TAKE IS THE ROUTE THAT WORKS!!!"

Period.

Look,

Thpose meds are a blessing from God Almighty. Thank God that they exist.

I would dare say that MANY lives have been saved from these meds when it comes to depression. They DESERVE credit.

I agree with the above poster. DO WHAT WORKS AND WHAT DOESN'T WORK DON'T DO IT!

Life is to short not to be happy.

But if you take te med route, I would try ALL OTHER meds to find which one works the absolute very very best.

Good luck!

I started Lucinda's program 4 years ago and began medication for depression simultaneously, and I think the combination is what really brought me through my anxiety and depression. I am still on medication, but really feel my best when I am reviewing my carry-along-cards on a regular basis. There are some of us that need the benefits of medication to calm us down enough to be able to implement the activities in the program. I would rather take advantage of all the different ways I can improve my anxiety and depression, rather than only 1 way. Self talk, diet, exercise, assertiveness, expectations,and medication, etc. all go hand in hand!

quote:

Do I go back on the medication to get my life back to 100%? Or do I live at, say, 90%, medication free? Is it better to have a stiff upper lip and fight through it, or is it better to just take the �Zac and be happy? Do I live through life worried that another panic attack might be just around the corner, but with my head held high, knowing that I�m off the medication, or do I just accept that I will probably have to be on it for the rest of my life? Granted, I�ve only been off of it for a week and a half, and, say, getting to a 100% positive drug free life would be ideal, but I�m not sure I want to go down a road which is fraught with anxiety and depression knowing that I might never even get there. I think I�ve suffered enough.

First, I just wanted to say that your above question is completely valid and is something you will have to answer for yourself. You just went off the medication so you may want to give it some time to see how you do, unless you get really bad. But my advice would be to talk to your doctor about this. But once you have determine that yes, without the medication you function at about 90% (if this is your conclusion), you have to ask yourself do you want to feel 100% or not. You and only you can answer this. There is no right or wrong answer per say, but you have to make your choice the right answer.

Facing the fact you need medication, if that is indeed the case, is important. If you do decide you need the medication, why not look at it in a more positive light? Why not see it as great that there is something out there that can help? You don't have to continuously live in misery. If you need medication, then just be glad it is there for you and that you found something that allows you to live your life to the fullest.

The statement you made that you could hold your head up high if you are off of the medication should also apply if you determine you need medication. Why can't you hold your head up high if you take medicine? Does taking medication make you a failure or less skilled than those who don't take medication? Absolutely not! In fact, facing the fact you need medication (if you need it) is an accomplishment. It is not easy to admit and accept you might need medication. Hold your head up either way....you are dealing with the problem and addressing it so you can live your life. That is something to be proud of.

For some people, panic attacks are basically all about their thinking, but others have problems even when they work on their thinking. Sometimes cognitive therapy and the like are just not enough. Sometimes people need the help of medication. It is not their fault, their choosing, or a weakness in them. It is what it is, and we all have to deal with the cards we were dealt.

My opinion, is that if you are not living a life you would like without the medication then you need to strongly consider it. But you should make the decision, no one else. Just because you go back on the medication doesn't mean you have to do it forever. You can try going off again later when you have developed your cognitive skills better to see if you can live a satisfying life without medicine.

Either way, hold your head up high for all that you have accomplished and accepted.

I decided to go back on Zoloft because I just was miserable without it. I had no problem going off of the medicine and was doing great, but stresses at work started the panic attacks again and while I had improved a great deal on dealing with the stress and anxiety, I felt myself spiraling again so I solved the prolem before it hit rock bottom. When I'm on Zoloft I can apply my cognitive skills, but for some reason when I'm off of it the skills don't work enough. I will try to go off again after I have had time on Zoloft to develop my skills further and to give it more time for my life to settle out and to make the positive internal dialogue a habit, but it may end up I need the help of the medicine to live a satisfying life. Who knows right now. But it is an accomplishment that I recognized that I was starting up on some problems and addressed the problems. Now I can work on my cognitive skills and I'm feeling better.

This post is for Doogiet. This is off the topic but I read your first post and noticed that you were on prozac. Wanted to ask a question about it, if you don't mind. or if anyone reading this can help, please do. I too, have been on and off prozac. Just started having really bad anxiety again and feeling depressed so have started back on my prozac again. This is my second day on them and I am having a hard time right now. I am very anxious and have had to go to the bathroom 4 or 5 times (sorry) and that has made me feel panicky as I am now worried that something is wrong with me. My question: Did you ever get this way first taking prozac? I am wondering if this is maybe a side effect or if this is just my anxiety taking over? I'm so worried about side effects and scared of pills as it is, so when I feel this way, it doesn't help.

Hey, poohbear. Can you be more specific when you say you had to go to the bathroom four or five times? What was wrong?

doogie

Hi Doogie t: Well my stomach was churning and I had to go number 2 four or five times, by the 5th time, it was diarrhea (sorry). So not sure if it was my anxiety cuz I was scared about it and worried something was wrong with me or if it was the prozac, but then that scares me too, to think it was then maybe it's not for me. I'm going to keep taking it but my bad night has set me off. I also was feeling shakey/nervous too so I'm not sure if was just my anxiety taking over or something else. It has left me out of sorts today and now I am obsessing and worrying about it.