My problem isn't that I have panic attacks all the time, although I have had them. I just feel anxious and keyed up a lot. I have difficulty relaxing a good deal of the time. MY symptom is that I don't so much feel short of breath, as that I feel I can't always get a full breath in. I compensate this feeling by trying to yawn to get in more air, or I take frequent extra deep breaths. By the end of the day, my lungs almost hurt and my upper back is in pain due to the tension. I had myself convinced I had something terrible wrong with my lungs. I even had tests that showed that I had a little problem with obstruction during the allergy season. The doctor took me off of a medicine I've been on for 20 years for a mitral valve prolapse. Interestingly, the medicine is also used to help prevent shaking, and panic. I became very depressed and started having full blown panic attacks. I should have been weaned off this med over an extended period of time, but they just switched me to something else. Anyway, I went back on it, repeated the lung tests, and they were fine. MY problem; I have a hard time believing my doctor when he says I am ok. Last night,(by the way I am a nurse in and ICU), at work, I was talking to a co-worker and discovered that this is probably a symptom of anxiety. She said her aunt is on Paxil, and that it really helps with the obsessive thinking. I need to be able to stop this inward thinking about myself'CONSTANTLY! If anyone has any suggestions, please reply. Thank you, Annette

------------------

Hi, Annette,
Here are my thoughts on the matter...if you really feel like you need some other type of medication, find out as much about them (anti depressants and anti-anxiety meds) as you can before starting a new med. Do the research and talk to people...not only your doctor, because sometimes they don't tell us enough. (Simply because they don't always KNOW enough.) Then, if you're really not believing your doctor, go and get a second opinion. I am sure that there isn't anything wrong with oyu simply because doubting our doctors is one of the things people with anxiety disorders like to do. Anyway, do whatever you need to do to allow yourself some peace of mind, even if you just tell your current doctor that you don't believe her/him. (That's what I did with mine, and she wasn't at all offended. )
There are many anti-depressants that also help with anxiety disorders, as a nurse I am sure oyu know this, so just do the research and make the decision that's best for you. I was absolutely dead set against taking another SSRI due to a horrible experience with Paxil, but am currently taking Zoloft which has helped a great deal. Just know that you will eventually feel okay and accept that your only "real" problem is anxiety, and trust yourself that you will make the best decisions for yourself. Keep us posted about how things are going, and feel free to e-mail me any time you want.
Good luck to you. Ariana
P.S. About the breathing, do you have the program? It helps a lot in showing us the right way to breathe so that we don't have such a hard time. There is also another great book for that called "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne. He includes several different ways for us to change our breathing patterns. Bye!

Annette,

Welcome to the forum and the journey!

All of us with anxiety-panic-depression start out bewildered, confused and frightened by a variety of symptoms. Most of us begin down this path with a visit to the emergency room seeking help for physical symptoms. The malpractice starts there with the wonderful news all vital signs are OK! Go home! Nothing�s wrong! Some doctors think they�re being helpful by discounting feelings in this way. Most times that simple person in the white coat knows it�s anxiety-panic-depression, but lacks the skill or guts to say anything because they're always concerned about a bigger "what-if": a lawsuit. In all fairness, I must admit I�ve seen plenty of folks with the perfectionist trait who feel insulted at even the suggestion they may be experiencing anxiety-panic-depression. But then, a true professional would know how to present their thoughts in a way that would least result in a defensive patient.

OK, so most everyone after years of emergency room visits then comes to realize these symptoms for what they are and aren�t. Turning to the Psych area of the �medical community� for help, they�re quickly introduced to drugs by �therapists� who are lazy and think it�s easier to drug a patient than meet their need for more frequent phone calls and office visits. In addition, I experienced first hand how cheap insurers would rather drug people than pay for the benefits of counseling. Many spend years of their lives hooked on these drugs without knowing they are weakening the very coping skills that would serve them well. Popping pills and running away from anxiety-panic-depression becomes the game plan.

If a pill was truly the answer to any of this, don�t you think we�d all be taking it?

Many have written here in a way that suggests there is something wrong with them self for not being able to find relief in an �anti-depressant� drug. The truth is, it�s not about what�s wrong with you: It�s about what�s wrong with the drugs that are being pushed by licensed drug dealers that know it's cheaper and easier to drug a patient than to treat them more frequently with therapy.

The Life Extension Foundation reports: "Pills are not the panaceas we've been led to believe they are. Studies have shown that drugs are of no value in treating about 33% of depression cases. In another 33% of cases, the drugs were only a little more effective than placebos (sugar pills.)" What kind of written proof of effectiveness has your own licensed drug pusher offered you to back up any claims they may make?

The good news is: Mostly all of us may sooner or later find the Midwest Center Program, and others like it, offers more hope for feeling better nowadays than mistreatment at the hands of licensed drug-pushers.

The key to my own successes with the Midwest Center Program came directly from my own willingness to take responsibility and begin seeing this whole thing differently from what the licensed drug pushers had been trying to sell me on. Patience and compassion for my self was key after completing the program and being introduced to tools and techniques that only much later I would come to more fully understand and master. As lesson fifteen describes, going through the program is just a beginning, and graduating from the program is not an end, but a beginning of a life long practice of the skills and techniques introduced in the program.

From what you�ve written, you sound like you�re in a good position to meet the challenge of now further building on the coping skills introduced in The Midwest Center Program.

I've personally experienced how supplements, drugs and relaxation techniques are only TEMPORARY ways to run from SYMPTOMS that our true self creates so not living authentically becomes a less secure option. I�ve learned my true self didn�t create these symptoms just so some licensed drug dealer could enable me to stay where I am in life: Some words of wisdom I wish someone with the experience I have now would have passed along to me in the beginning.

It is the stated objective for lesson eleven of The Midwest Center Program, �to honestly look at your use of alcohol or other substances that mask reality,� which includes �anti-anxiety� medication and �anti-depressants.� Lesson eleven further states �medication will not change your perfectionist, negative, overly-sensitive personality; your way of thinking and behaving is what causes the problem.� I know some may say they didn�t feel �drunk� while drugging themselves with �anti-anxiety� medication and �anti-depressants,� but that doesn�t mean they were SOBER. Other words may be more comforting, but the bottom line is: By definition anyone taking these drugs is not SOBER; they are in an altered state of reality; they are using drugs to mask their reality. This became much clearer to me, and may become much clearer to others, only after not being drugged for a while. As I see it, one of the main points of lesson eleven is to be honest with our self and others about what kind of reality we�re choosing.

I�ve found �medication� most often may be described as only a DRUG HOLIDAY for those who want to escape from their SYMPTOMS. Working on the all important underlying life issues gets sacrificed when drugs destroy the sense of urgent motivation created for our self with our SYMPTOMS.

Lazy �therapists� especially in HMOs tend to perceive drugged patients as content patients, and may never again challenge you to address the underlying life issues that led to your SYMPTOMS in the first place. You may discover the worst possible relapses occur after coming off a drug holiday because your own SOBER coping skills have been allowed to deteriorate. Where will you be when your drug holiday is over?

Benzodiazepine users sooner or later hit a wall of physical addiction and will be forced into a withdrawal program, which has only been described as VERY, VERY challenging. Many of them have reported their panic was much worse than before starting on a benzodiazepine. Most knowledgeable experts agree it�s because they got used to using a benzodiazepine rather than any of their own SOBER coping skills.

BuSpar seems a better alternative to just about any other anti-anxiety drug only because it does not "appear" to lead to �PHYSICAL� dependence. But remember, by definition anyone taking a DRUG (including �anti-depressants�) is not SOBER, and therefore may become PSYCHOLOGICALLY addicted, which may seem just as bad as being PHYSICALLY addicted: Your SOBER coping skills will more easily deteriorate from lack of use, and your sober world may look uncomfortably different without being DRUGGED. I may only suggest you revisit with your own doctor about how this drug may or may not fit into your total approach to all this. If you do decide to drug yourself with BuSpar, you may expect it to take up to three weeks to have an effect and it may require a level somewhere around 20 MG three times a day. All the research available shows about sixty percent of people say BuSpar is a wonder drug, but the other forty percent say it does nothing at all for them. Therefore, if you�re able to begin withdrawing from ALL other antianxiety medications after three weeks of BuSpar, then you'll know how well it's working for you.

There are lots of websites devoted entirely to sharing personal experiences with various drugs. One such site you may want to consider exploring is Dr. Bob�s

If you�re going to try to work on your underlying life issues while drugged, then at least go into it with a formal written detailed plan signed by your therapist and licensed drug dealer: How are you now going to get something done about your underlying life issues while on a drug holiday from your SYMPTOMS? Explore with your therapist A Search For Meaning at the Core of Panic-Anxiety-Depression. What FORMAL programs do they provide to see you through any physical and emotional pain when you want to become sober again?

DO NOT BE FOOLED! GET IT IN WRITING!!!

Then enjoy a drug holiday if you want to run from your SYMPTOMS. I have no problem with addressing the pain of symptoms, if at the same time the underlying truth is discerned, accepted and acted upon. Think about it: if you physically broke your arm, would you only take pain killers and leave the broken arm alone only to have it develop into some grotesque chronic condition?

By the way, in keeping with the benefits of exercise described in lesson five of the program, I�ve found just a few minutes (literally, just a FEW minutes) of light swimming can greatly improve the breathing symptoms you�ve described, and greatly reduce anxiety-panic-depression. It does not work at all to swim with the head constantly up out of the water. The unique power of this wonderful activity comes directly from blowing the air out against the force of the water. So, head up to take in air, then head in the water to blow the air out. Try it, I think you�ll be amazed!



[This message has been edited by Dolphin (edited 10-20-2001).]

hI ANNETTE
I ALSO HAVE MITRAL VALVE PROLAPSE AND WAS TAKING VERAPAMIL 120 MG, IT IS USED FOR ANXIETY TO SLOW DOWN BREATHING AND HEART RATE,BUT I HAD TO COME OFF FROM IT BECAUSE IT MADE ME DOWN RIGHT DEPRESSED.i WOULD SUGGEST YOU TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT GETTING ON ADAVANT .5 MG..IT'S AN ANXIETY DRUG AND ONLY TAKES THE EDGE OFF. i THINK THE BREATHING AND PAIN YOUR HAVING IS DUE TO ANXIETY NOT NOTHING WRONG PHYSICALLY. aLSO, LOOK CLOSE AT PAXIL...IT SENT ME INTO A FRENZY..2 EMERGENCY ROOM VISITS..ADAVANT HAS BEEN A LIFE SAVER. HOPE THIS HELPS..

Hi Annette! I just thought I would add one more suggestion. I had a therapist suggest that I get the tape "Breathing" by Andrew Weil. It talks about how so many of us take really shallow breaths and then he walks you through exercises to teach you proper breathing techniques. I used to feel very short of breath and then when I would experience a panic attack, I felt that I couldn't breath. I would yawn, put my hands over my head and stretch, cough, anything to help me feel like I was getting more air. The relaxation tape from the Midwest Center helped quite a bit. Then I did the exercises on the "Breathing" tape and the two together really made a difference. You can get the tape in the audio books section of the bookstore.

------------------
Mountaingirl
come forth into the light of things ~ let nature be your teacher. William Wordsworth

[This message has been edited by mountaingirl (edited 11-07-2001).]

I have been on zoloft and it has been a god send. I was it a really bad state ready to give up then my doc put me on zoloft and xanax, i know its not the long term answer but its helping me till i can get better