Hi all,

I just started on Tape 11. I took the depression test in the workbook and I have gone from severe depression down to absence of depression. I am pretty proud of myself for that. However on the personal satisfaction questions, I still am coming up concerned. The main reason for this is my poor self image. I am 27 and a mother of 3 beautiful kids. I am 5'4 and weigh 124 lbs. I am a relatively cute woman. But I look in the mirror and even though I know it's not going to happen. I wish I looked like Brittney Spears or whoever. The whole idea of the perfect girl who's 18 and 110 lbs just still really screws up my self image. My weight is fine so why do I always check concerned with it? How do you come to grips with what you look like and accept it and love yourself and be happy about it. I'm not 18 I'm someone's Mom it's ok to have stretch marks. Does anyone else have a poor self image and does anyone have any suggestions on how to love yourself more??

Thanks ya'al

Mary

Hello Mary,

I am sure even Brittney Spears can only be 18 for 12 months.

People who are younge than us will always be younger than us. But GUESS WHAT? People who are older than us will always be older than us. Here is where I feel gleefully secure. I insist on being compared with people that are older than me.

My guess is that you know your look is not the real issue here. When you reason it, you know there is not much to complain about your image. Wide guess here: May be there are underlying issues you don't want to deal with and picking on your look is easier to express your dissatisfication?

No matter what, you are in the right place. This program is to deal with all those "issues" and to learn how to feel good about ourselves. It is work! There are many ups and downs. But we are working in the right direction.

Good luck

drop

Mary,
I am also 27 and a stay at home mom to 3 beautiful kids. I also feel the same way at times. I was kind of relieved to see i'm not the only one. I was having sort of a down morning and afternoon, so to hear your good news about overcoming your depression has encouraged me. Thank you.
Alicia

Thanks you guys for replying. I think Drop is probably right. It probably is more than just a physical thing. Maybe it is because this condtion had made me be someone who I didn't like very much. Let's face it we tend to be very self centered at times, and not very caring about others. Maybe now that I am using the skills more and more I will learn to love myself more. I still think that our culture focuses much to much on outward appearances. Let's face it most normal woman are not a size 2. I think that as I approach 30, I am realizing I am getting older, and that can be difficult to accept.


Hey Alicia, staying at home with kids is hard work!! It is mentally draining, and In my opinion much harder than when I used to be out there working. I have read alot about housewife syndrome. Which was a depression that housewives get. It isn't heard much about anymore now that everyone works. Not to knock working mom's I'd never do that. But we, as stay at home mom's don't get any praise and sometimes we don't even get very much thanks. It's hard to hear about all your friends and family out there working and everything. Sometimes it makes you feel bad. But interestingly enough one day I asked my oldest child if he wanted me to work and he said,"No Mommy, I like you being here". And I realized what am I feeling bad about? They want me with them and I want to be here till they all start school. So the work world will have to wait. The public offices that annoyingly list me as unemployed instead of housewife or stay at home Mom, can just get over it. If you want to come to our meeting in the chat room next Monday 8:30 est. Thanks again you guys!!!!!

Mary

[This message has been edited by jmjvsjones (edited 08-08-2001).]

[This message has been edited by jmjvsjones (edited 08-08-2001).]