In listening to Session 10, I felt a lot like the scary thoughts did not apply to me. I do have obsessive thoughts - like where I can't stop thinking through a scenario or about a problem.

My scary thoughts though were not about hurting myself or others, but about someone hurting my family. I would make myself crazy with "what if" thinking about plane wrecks or car accidents. But the closest I came to the things Lucinda and thr group were talking about was the fact that I "booby-trapped" any knives in my house. (This is so stupid...) If they were in the sink to be washed when I went to bed, I'd put them under a cup or several other pieces of silverware so that...IF SOMEONE CAME IN THE HOUSE AND PICKED IT UP THERE WOULD BE A NOISE THAT I WOULD HEAR SO I COULD PROTECT US. I spent more energy on that and the thinking than anything else!

I also hid hammers, screwdrivers, and the like.

Is that a scary thought? Or is that more like a "what if" problem. Either way it seems kind of obsessive to me.

Thankfully, they seem to have faded out a lot just by working on the program...so maybe it was just a reflection of my anxiety??

Not sure...anyone else have these problems/thoughts?

Dawn

Hey Dawn!

Yea.. I got one for you on that... i would, often still do, sleep with my ears uncovered, even if I am on my side, I will sleep so the pillow allows me to hear any noises, and I mean any noises, so (yea, this is stupid too...) I could get up and confront any intruder or help the kids in case they got sick. I got used to doing this when I was raising the girls by myself... i often worried that they were okay so I slept in a way that I could quickly react... my second youngest had a lot of allergies so I was often getting up with her in the middle of the night and dealing with her getting sick, etc... She threw up a lot.

Again... I wonder if it is anxiety causing the situation, or am I reasonably anxious because of the situation i was in...

Hi Dawn,

It's obsessive scary thinking and to avoid your anxious feelings over the thoughts you "fear rehearsed" by covering up the knives, hammers, screwdrivers, etc. To get over this (I'm speaking from experience) don't cover up the knives, etc anymore. This keeps the fearful thoughts coming back over and over. Go to bed and leave them in the sink uncovered. Feel the anxious feelings and use your tools while doing this. Thought stoppage. Calm breath and attention shifting. Humm, whistle, listen to a relaxation tape, journal how you are feeling, focus on your breath flowing in and out. You will probably only have to do this a few nights in a row until you finally desensitize to the ritual. Remind yourself that you really are safe doing this healthy exercise.

I have scary thoughts about water. We just put in a new water system and I am obsessing over it. I get anxiety attacks thinking that I'm drowning. Weird isn't it. I'm affraid to use it.

marriedbutseperated - I do the same thing...ever since I was little I have to have at least one ear uncovered! I think you are right that you had/have a reasonably anxious situation, but I guess when we get to the point where we are obsessive about it - it can be a problem.

Boon -thanks for the tips. I will try that! I guess eventually it will be a relief not to have to "booby trap" everything! I guess I think I was MacGyver in a previous life - ha ha.

drussell - That's not weird or crazy. See? We are all doing it (or something similar)! Maybe you could try the suggestions that boon offered as well.

Best,
Dawn