Ok guys, I need you help. I just listened to session 10 this morning on obsessive/scary thoughts. I do obsess about a lot of things, but they are usually not the monumental things that Lucinda speaks of. I obsess about little things like why he didn't call, or why that person looked at me like that. In the tape Lucinda says we obsess about things to distract ourselves from something that is really bothering us. How do I know what this is? How do I know what is REALLY bothering me. I struggled with this on the anger tape as well. I couldn't figure out what I was really angry about? I just knew it was there. Any ideas???

Hey girl!

I don't know if this will help you much, but I had similar issues on this session. I don't really have scary thoughts, but I do obsess. I tried to relax one night and disect the thoughts that I obsess about and started realizing a pattern of WHEN I would obsess. I started realizing that I was afraid...or at least uncomfortable with...being alone and that was my trigger for obsessing. I tried to apply the session to that and thought that maybe I didn't want to face being alone and so filled that "space" with those thoughts.

It was pretty difficult to allow myself to "feel alone" and breathe through it, but focusing on that ("my problem") really did help me stop obsessing about stupid other stuff.



I didn't have those monumental thoughts that Lucinda talked about either. Hope this helps a bit.

Best,
Dawn

Not all obsessive scary thinking has to do with something we are trying to distract ourselves from. We are not necessarily trying to distract ourselves from anything. We are born predisposed to obsessive thinking and our minds will find all kinds of things to obsess about for no good reason at all. So if you are unable to determine what you "may be distracting yourself from" then let it go and understand that it is the nature of the obsessive thinking mind to do exactly what it is doing. Your job is to learn to underreact to these thoughts. Become the observer of your thoughts instead of interacting with them.

Also, if you can not find what you may be distracting yourself from in a very short time, stop trying to figure it out. You're just "feeding" the obsessive mind by trying to figure this out. What you need to know will come to you in the present moment. You don't have to drive yourself crazy with digging deep. It will surface and you can deal with it when that occurs.

If you are worrying about something then do designated worry time about what you worry about. Pick a time and write about it for a good 20 - 30 minutes daily until this worry no longer has any "punch" for you. It's a great way to desensitize.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Boon,

Thanks you guys. Boon, I completely understand what you are saying. I am so used to obsessing about things that I am obsessing over my obsessive thoughts. Stay in the present Julie!!!

The designated worry time has been very beneficial for me. I am usually too tired to worry about what was bothering me earlier or it seems much less intimidating to me at this later time. This is just so hard for me I am soo used to worrying all the time. Thanks again guys!