Hi,

I was just reading here and noticed someone saying that because someone has scary, obsessive thoughts, the person has OCD. I got a bit scared that I have it, which I have wondered sometime in the past too.

I get loads of s scary, obsessive thoughts that I cannot stop and half of them appear from nowhere without any external trigger. They just suddenly pop into my head. I have from 1 thought to 20 thoughts per day and very rarely have a day without them. My thoughts are about my partner's exes and how they were so much better than me and even if I know they were not, I still get thoughts about them in my head constantly and even if I know exactly the details about them, I still cannot stop thinking about them and I keep thinking my partner has not been honest about them to me. I also get thoughts about other women in public being so much better and when I see a female I have to compare myself to her and a lot of the time no matter what she looks like even if it's 30kg heavier, she's better than me. I don't want to talk about these thoughts about exes and females this time or what I think about them.

The only thing I'd like to talk about on this topic is if I have OCD. Does it sound like I do? I read that OCD is when someone cannot stop repetitively checking their door is locked or just keep repeating things again and again so I didn't think it went for me, but I keep thinking the same obsessive thoughts again and again year after year and it's been over 4 years now and I still think the same thoughts and scare myself with them and without me wanting to think about the thoughts.

Thank you for your support.

I have to answer yor post b/c I JUST had a 30 minute talk with my husband on the subject of my thoughts about his exes. I get obsessed about how I compare to them and if they were better partners than me!
I too wonder about OCD. It's my understanding that both obsessions AND compulsions are involved. Like you might be obsessed that there are germs on your hands, so you spend all day washing them over and over- the compulsion.
Your unwanted, repeated, persistent thoughts sound similar to mine. There are a couple of topics I just can't quit thinking about. When they get overwhelming is when the depression and anxiety hit me hard. So I signed up to see a counselor to get more defined help in that area. I start in a couple of weeks.
I've googled OCD but it's really hard to self-diagnos, and it's probably a lot better to leave that to the doctors. I have to keep telling myself that the more important thing is to get some help with whatever I might be dealing with.
Good luck and best wishes to you.

Hi Bevhembree and thank you for your reply.

After I saw your reply I and my partner read more about OCD on the internet and I think I have one, but I'll see a doctor soon to speak about this. I'm now almost certain that I have one.

I hope you'll find help with your councillor and I'd be interested to know what he says if you have a chance to post about it here. Also if you ever want to talk about these things, you're welcome to PM me.

Thank you again.

Yes, obsessive thinking is considered OCD but it's not something to fear and it IS cureable. Please do your best to understand that you do not need to fear it. It isn't even that painful to cure.

The obsessive thinking part of OCD takes the understanding that when you learn to become the observer of your thoughts, when you allow them to come and go without your attachment to them, you can release them easily. It takes practice to do this, yes, but that's OK. So it takes time. Now you know what to do. Many of us have been experiencing this for 40 years but we didn't have the tools so long ago. You have them early. That's good news.

The key is to not resist your thoughts. Ok, you obsess about your husband's exes. Just continually say "Whatever" and allow those thoughts to come and go. Don't go into a conversation about them. Just allow them their passage. They'll lose their power over time and you'll notice the thoughts coming less and less.

You do not like these thoughts so they keep coming back. Be indifferent to them by practicing "Whatever". See for yourself how you disempower them.

You really don't have to "know" anything in order for the anxiety to leave. Practice all the time. You'll find your peace.

Hi Boon,

Thank you for your reply. It made me feel much better. I have not really worried about having OCD. It's like giving a name for what I know I have.

I've already practised letting the thoughts come and go. Sometimes, like yesterday, it's quite easy and then there are days when it's very difficult. Yesterday, I just said to myself "It's fine for me to have these thoughts. You can stay if you want. I don't care." Then I laughed at them (inside my mind) at some point and just told it to keep trying and it was okay. The possibility is also that I had an anxiety attack in the morning so that might have something to do with me letting go of them so easily. I'm just doing lesson 10 and might stay with it a couple of days longer than a week to let it sink in deeper.

I'll try this "whatever" attitude and see what happens. The anxiety does go away without "knowing" the answers to my questions, but even after the feelings go away, the question remains somewhere below the surface, just waiting to re-surface again.

Thank you very much for your advice and support. I'll definitely follow your advice.

Another thing you can do is to write up a Worst Case Scenerio using the very thoughts that trigger your anxiety. It is really beneficial in desensitizing to our triggers. You write a horrible, horrific scenerio for about 20 minutes. Don't fix anything. Make it really awful. Then read it daily for 45 minutes until there is no longer any "charge" to the words. You'll get really bored with it in a short time.

You're doing a great job. Don't give up because you really are in the right direction. You will heal from this.

Satu

Just a small addendum - be careful about what you read on the internet. It is a fantastic tool and there is so much information it can be overwhelming - and you will certainly find and article or two that will convince you that you do have OCD, just as you will find many articles that can convince you that you don't, if that is the information you want to hear right now. Remember, everything is processed through your current state of mind, and if you are looking for OCD symptoms, you will find them.

For now, relax, there is nothing you can do today. Make that appointment with a professional and they will test you and then discuss the results. Then you will have help available, and you won't have wasted all this time worrying about something you may or may not have. And remember - this is cureable, this is temporary, this too shall pass.

Best of luck.

Thank you Boon. I know the writing Worst Case Scenerio helps, but I find it much more anxiety producing that the other ways I've now read about. I go into the very worst case scenario in my thinking already and I have written it down and got much much more anxious because of it.

However, the suggestion of using "whatever" is helping me with some thoughts together with observing the thought and imagining it somewhere a couple of meters from me and just letting it come and go. I find putting humor into the thoughts being the most helpful so far for the very worst thoughts. Also thank you very much for your encouragement.

Sylvia T.: That's okay with the internet. I know from my past to be very critical about thing on the internet. And you're absolutely right: you can always find the information you want to hear right at the moment on the internet. It doesn't really make a difference to me if I have OCD or not. I have these thoughts and my main goal is to desensitize myself to them and get rid of my anxiety disorder. Thank you so much for your words and encouragement.