I feel so alone.I struggle everyday lately.I get extremely angry over nothing and pick fights with those around me,then I feel so bad for doing that,that I get very depressed.It's so bad that I end up cutting on myself to help deal with the pain.I have a therapist,but whenever I bring this up he tells me it all has to deal with me being angry at my parents.I feel that I've gotton over that,I just want to be loved and needed but don't feel I ever will be the way I need to be.I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago at age 26,unfortunately I never had the chance to have the kids I always wanted.Plus my grandmother is dying and I still haven't gotten over my grandfathers death 11 years ago.These are the people who raised me,pretty much.I have no friends to confide in,whenever I get one I push them away.Does anyone have any advice? Thanks for listening.
Brandy

xxtreme74

In our lives we all have to face very challenging and mind boggling situations..Some of those situations are painful, others are emotional, others are confusing, and even others are all of the feelings and more. One thing you have to first and foremost understand is that you are not alone. There is no question at all that you have been through A LOT. From such an early age you have experienced heartache and have taught yourself ways to protect and hide your pain. I understand your need to hurt yourself (by cutting yourself) b/c when I was younger and got very frustrated-I started to pull my hair and rip at my face. I did not know why I did it--But now I know that that was the only way I could relieve my anger and all the turmoil that was going on inside of me..I wanted so bad to voice my opinion and emotions,,but b/c I was not given the chance to I took it out on myself (very unhealthy)..As for your hysterectomy-well,I don't know how to touch on this subject..It must have been very hard to deal with this realization...But, just b/c you can not bare a child does not mean you can not be a mother (A strong, powerful, loving mother)...If that is what you want in your life...
It is no wonder that you feel depressed, you are struggling everyday with emotions that you really don't know what to do with..

But, you are strong, you are capable, and you def. are LOVED..Even if you don't feel it..I feel love for you and I never even meant you..I feel love for you b/c I understand your hurt, I understand your desires to want to live life w/o all this crap..You are a very strong person for writing what you did..Imagine how much strength is inside of you that could be channeled towards other things..Keep writing on this post..You will come to find that a lot of people will LOVE you,,just b/c you are a sincere person that has the will to live, love and be loved..You DESERVE it...