I get so afraid that I might go out of control and kill myself. I don't understand this. I have talked to Carolyn about this and she said that this thought is common and that because it frightens me so much that I would never do such a thing.

The problem is that when I play with this thought it deppresses me so much that I think that maybe I will act out on it. I am a 38 yr old male with a wife and two kids and I do not want to hurt anybody. I am so desperate right now I really need support and some encouraging words. The program does briefly talk about this fear and lucinda writes about it in From Panic to Power.

I don't think I have read anyone talking about this here. Have you?

Thank you

Hi JJR

That is the only thing I continue to struggle with. Its so interesting that you posted that because your right I've seen no one else mention this at all. So of course I think I'm the only person with this ridiculous thought. Its good to know I'm not the only one.

A guy in our town took his life and since then thats how it all started I was basically freaked that I could do it also. Anyways I got Panic to Power and doing what Lucinda said really helped, also writing positive statements against the negative that we think in a notebook. I also got the book on recommendation of others on this site Hope and Help for your nerves. It had a chapter that says you should not try and block the thought from your mind let it come (because its going to isn't it JJR) I'll tell ya that I know how that feels, so anyways let it come float with it relax and continue on with something to do. JJR they also say it comes with a very tired person, scary thoughts that is. For me its mostly at bed time and early morning, and last night I woke right up cause the words were in my dream how scary is that!! As soon as I heard the words I jumped right up geez, Talk about silly. Anyways, I'm really getting over this I know you can to. The most important thing for me is knowing that your fine, maybe tired but OK! And with time your thought will slowly go away. I'm still looking for answers as to why I still have the same thought myself but I can't tell you I feel like a million bucks compared to 3 months ago so JJR your on your way. Remember your not alone and I'm glad you had the same stupid thought as me! Thanx!!

Good Morning,

It is so comforting to me when I see people supporting and encouraging each other. I hope this thread goes for awhile because I KNOW there are others out there with this same scary thought.

First: THOUGHTS just THOUGHTS! There is a huge difference between thoughts and beliefs!

Second: Don't analyse, don't ask why...unless you would normally ask "why" of any of your thoughts. ACCEPT!thoughts and detour to another if it's not a healthy place to dwell.

REmember: Everyone has ugly thoughts...the difference is that people like you and I sit there and go on and on as to why, how could I, I must be... Other folks that are not negative, obsessive thinkers just shrug their shoulders and move on. Let's try it,
Carolyn

Hi Carolyn.

Thank you for your reply also. I do just that think oh well its just that thought again. Its interesting though I look at people and wonder if they have the same thought as myself, why I don't know but its like your looking for someone else with the same problem maybe. Anyways thats how this scary thought is becoming more distant for me, yep its just a thought and I'll continue on and have a great day as usual. Thanx again Carolyn.

The problem is what these thoughts is that people think that it must be true if it makes them anxious or depresses them. I used to think that. I would think that I wanted to hurt someone else because the thoughts wouldn't go away. I was convinced that I was going to jail someday or the mental institution because I thought I would act on these thoughts someday. No matter how bad a thought makes you feel, it's only a thought! All it is is something to distract you from something else that is really bothering you in your life. If you can't pinpoint what the real issue is, don't worry about it and move on. Picture yourself trying to kill yourself with a rubber knife or something else that seems humorous. This will take the fear away from it. Don't worry if it doesn't work right away, just keep on trying these methods.

Tony