I don't know if anyone else experiences this....my most troublesome obsessive thought is about the crow's feet around my eyes. I am 34 years old and have actually had these for most of my adult life....they are hereditary. I know that I exaggerate their prominence but at the same time their presence consumes me. Most days, I avoid looking in the mirror because I see them and become down. I feel ugly, old....and to some extent unworthy or unlovable (as crazy as that sounds). I often strategize as to how and when I can get botox or laser surgery. Even though this may or may not work....I still worry about getting older and continuing to lose my appearance. Sadly enough, I know this is ridiculous and all of us will get old.....as I am writing this I am realizing that somehow I feel that I will be worthless when my looks have faded. When I am around younger people or those with a youthful appearance I am automatically jealous and feel less than them. How sad and pathetic.....but how do I manage to make this go away.

Marci,
Well being as I am new to this program I can't really give any advice on how to deal with this,all I can offer though is that I too obsess about my looks.I stress so bad about the wrinkles that are JUST STARTING and the bulges.I start to cry and get VERY depresssed when I get out of the shower or somehow get a glimpse of my self and notice the wrinkles and my uneven hips and so forth.So you aren't alone! I am going to be 30 this year and my body sure doesn't look 17 anymore.I used to be a model in L.A. and lets just say you would never know it to look at my body now.However I would like to steer you away from the "plastic" surgery thing though.I had breast implants and liposuction to feel better and all it did was get worse.I had one problem after another and had to have more and more surgery.I look worse now then I would have if I would have never done anything and learned to accept myself before.Like I said my hips are uneven,I have spider veins on my legs,not to mention all the scars,from just the lipo.Then my breast implants were the same thing,one prob after another and a bunch of scars.Anyway I used to want a nose job and botox too,but now I'm too scared.So I'm still struggling to deal with feeling less than people and jealous as well.I don't have the solution,but I'm more than willing to talk and be a friend if you'd like.
Love Brandy

Marci,

The thing to remember as you go along, is that your appearance is not the issue. We with panic disorders choose things to latch onto and obsess about - and it's usually very far from the actual thing that has been bothering us. Oh, it's got a kernel of truth, sure, enough to give us the emotional charge to let it serve as an obsessive, scary thought, but in the end it's just a distraction from the issues.

I'm willing to bet you're gorgeous, crow's feet and all. Use the skills from Lesson 10 (have you reached it yet), and watch that obsession on appearance gradually disappear.