I have been having a hard time again lately with obsessive thoughts. I really pulled a whammy on myself this time. I went suring the net to OCD sites to read about peoples stories. Why can I not accept the diagnosis I got from my therapist which was generalized anxiety with obsessive thinking? I have had scary thoughts about hurting my children. This disgusts me so much I love them more than anything in the world. Well needless to say I got to a sight and there was a person on there talking about having scary violent thoughts and they were misdiagnosed and had their kids taken away. I know that I should not read this, this has really put me into a terrible state of mind. I love my kids and I do not ever want to loose them, I do not want to doubt that I am a good mom. Nor do I want to doubt that I would ever loose control. There are not really therapists out there who believe those with anxiety would actually do the things they dread most. Please respond as I could really use some support. I often wonder if I can ever get past this. I do not take medication as I do have some really wonderful days and I think I can beat this on my own. This just threw me for a loop.
if you fear the fact that you might do something crazy then you have an anxiety disorder. Do you have the anxiety program? this is probably the best option out there to deal with this disorder, but you have to follow it whether you like it or not to get better. and you wont go crazy, butyou have to face that and come through it to get better.
Posts: 6 | Location: fargo, nd, usa | Registered: May 24, 2001
I understand your feelings of "why do I do this to myself". I've been wondering the same thing myself. Although my scary thought isn't hurting my children. It ranks up there, someone in our city took his like same age as me etc. and ever since then this is my obessive scary thought, what if I lost control and did that, what if someone I loved did that, then I look at others and think would they do that? Its it totally ridiculous. Now it got worse before it got better for me, and at certain times of the month of course the thoughts creep back in but I just "float with it" yes I say to myself I realize that is a sad thing but nothing I need to worry about.
You should try and not get rid of the thoughts as soon as they come to you just remember yes its a thought just passing through my head and thats it a thought! You know you wouldn't act on it so its just simply that a thought! Our kids are so important to us. I love what another post has said that the scary thoughts we have are some we hate the most. When I read that I thought to myself "almost crying" yes that is something I hate the most and would never do.
Your so rational Julie that your thinking why do I think this about my kids so you will never lose control your always in control.
Well anyways I hope some of this helped. Just writing about this topic makes me feel better. I'm glad you posted it.
Posts: 152 | Location: canada | Registered: February 26, 2001
I've been thinking about these scary thoughts that we have. First of all they are ironic & irrational. Second of all, if we really had any intentions of doing any of these we wouldn't be scared out of our skin.
I think the reason why we are frightend by our thoughts is that we are frightened by the very thought itself--what ever it is... dying, hurting someone, etc. And we don't want to be an ugly person like that, so we get afraid. Then the irrational fear part takes over and then we fear ourselves because we imagined ourselves as the aggressor.
example: I grew up fearing for my Mother due to my dad's violence. Whenever I saw violence I was afraid then & after. As I got older and would I get nervous I would think, what if "I" did these things? Then I was terrified. The part that wasn't being verbalized was the "I don't want to be like my father." Instead my fearful mind would say, "Would I do that?" "Why is this thought in my head." Then I would start to fear myself.
I think we need to back up and realize what compasionate and very people sensitive we are. We are frightened from all the things we see & hear. We need to build up our strengths so that we don't let our minds get carried away with disturbing thougths. We need to realize that we are equally capeable of creating positive loving thoughts & these are the ones we should focus on. Better yet, stopping the "thinking of thoughts" is even better! Doing & creating will take the place of thinking about what your thinking about.
Take care & know that you are a sensitive loving person.
Take some time for yourself & do something that you enjoy. That's what helps me the most is when I have some time for me. When I nurture my creativity, I find that I don't have these thoughts. It's when I'm overwhelmed that they come into my life.
Please read my response to Jasons post on this (obsesive scary thoughts) forum. Also, keep in mind that we always obsess about what we are most afraid of. That is why one gets the praticular thoughts they get. If we weren't afraid of it, we wouldn't think about it. Therefore, anyone afriad of hurting someone else, is the safest person to be around simply because they are so afraid of it.
Mellie
Posts: 426 | Location: Saint Paul M.N. | Registered: March 16, 2001
I enjoy your replies. They hit the core of the issue. You have a great knack for expressing such complicated ideas. You summed it up in a clear cohesive statement that is easy to understand, and at the same time exposes these things in a light that allows me to see them for what they are. Just uncovering their mystique makes them less powerful.
Thank you! Rachel
<Kimmama>
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by julie: I have been having a hard time again lately with obsessive thoughts. I really pulled a whammy on myself this time. I went suring the net to OCD sites to read about peoples stories. Why can I not accept the diagnosis I got from my therapist which was generalized anxiety with obsessive thinking? I have had scary thoughts about hurting my children. This disgusts me so much I love them more than anything in the world. Well needless to say I got to a sight and there was a person on there talking about having scary violent thoughts and they were misdiagnosed and had their kids taken away. I know that I should not read this, this has really put me into a terrible state of mind. I love my kids and I do not ever want to loose them, I do not want to doubt that I am a good mom. Nor do I want to doubt that I would ever loose control. There are not really therapists out there who believe those with anxiety would actually do the things they dread most. Please respond as I could really use some support. I often wonder if I can ever get past this. I do not take medication as I do have some really wonderful days and I think I can beat this on my own. This just threw me for a loop.
I don't have children but love my animals like children. Before the program I used to have thoughts of seeing myself stab my beloved Chihuahua Dumplin. I knew I would never do it. I think I had this thought due to catastrophic thinking.. what's the worst thing I could ever do and feel horrendous about.. kill my beloved pet.... When the thought would come I started distracting myself from it by hugging Dumplin for a moment then going and doing something... watching TV, calling a friend, surfing the net.... it helped.
Dawn
quote:
Originally posted by butterflymom43: Hi Julie:
I understand your feelings of "why do I do this to myself". I've been wondering the same thing myself. Although my scary thought isn't hurting my children. It ranks up there, someone in our city took his like same age as me etc. and ever since then this is my obessive scary thought, what if I lost control and did that, what if someone I loved did that, then I look at others and think would they do that? Its it totally ridiculous. Now it got worse before it got better for me, and at certain times of the month of course the thoughts creep back in but I just "float with it" yes I say to myself I realize that is a sad thing but nothing I need to worry about.
You should try and not get rid of the thoughts as soon as they come to you just remember yes its a thought just passing through my head and thats it a thought! You know you wouldn't act on it so its just simply that a thought! Our kids are so important to us. I love what another post has said that the scary thoughts we have are some we hate the most. When I read that I thought to myself "almost crying" yes that is something I hate the most and would never do.
Your so rational Julie that your thinking why do I think this about my kids so you will never lose control your always in control.
Well anyways I hope some of this helped. Just writing about this topic makes me feel better. I'm glad you posted it.
Posts: 22 | Location: N. Miami Beach, Fla. USA | Registered: February 20, 2001
I had a lot of support calls yesterday, perhaps due to the jumbled schedule this week with the holiday mid-week, perhaps the full moon? Most of them were about scary thoughts. One comment seemed to help most: Remind yourself of the deference between THOUGHT and BELIEF. Is this a belief I have about myself/my world? Or is this just a thought? Remember Ken on the tapes, "Thoughts...just thoughts."
We are very creative people. When we are in a negative mode...we create in the negative.
Let's figure out a way to get paid for this!
Have a productive day, Carolyn
Posts: 1119 | Location: Oak Harbor, OH | Registered: July 21, 2000
Ken sounds like a cool guy. Just his tone of voice and attitude and all. I'd like to meet him some day if that's ever possible. Anyways, let me tell you all a little story about my obsessive thoughts. It started out with the ever popular homosexual obsessive thought that a lot of people seem to have. But I took it even further...a few months after I was obsessive about that, I saw this thing on Jerry Springer about transsexuals. So what do you think I started obsessing about then? I thought "what if I'm really a woman on the inside", then that really messed me up. I was constantly trying to fight the thought, but it kept coming back so I thought it must be true. I feared that I would have to move far away from my family and be all alone because of the embarrassment of having a sex change. Needless to say I know that I am 100% man now, it was just a scary thought. It took this program and a psychologist to help me figure that out. If I really wanted to be that way, it would make me happy, not scare me, and now I realize that. I wonder if anyone else ever had that thought or is struggling about it now, email me and I'll give you advice on how to get over it.
[This message has been edited by Yak (edited 07-06-2001).]
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