I have been doing really well the last couple of weeks. I had managed to keep my scary, negative, obsessive thoughts at bay. I was feeling really good.

Now, the last, almost 3 days I have felt those scary thoughts and down feelings coming on. Even though I am still trying to practice compasion, and self soothing, it doesn't seem to want to go away. I feel unreal and dream like. I know it is derealazation and all, but why now? I was feeling fine no anxiety lately to lead me up to this feeling.

I think part of my anxiety/ panic is feeling this way. When I think about doing something outside of my comfort zone, I start to feel this way. Like Im lost and can never be found.

Im pretty sure I know what is bringing theses feelings on, I just hate when I feel this way. I hate it when Im livivng my life but it seems so unfamilar. Or when I look at the love and my life and fear I dont know him or recognize him. Its hard to feel safe with friends, family or in my own home and life, when I fear it all because of how I feel.

When I think about having a panic attack, I picture no one being able to help me. I picture screaming get away from me, I don't know, your not helping and then running off into the wilderness or something like some scitzo.

I am going next weekend to the laughlin run and its an hour or so to get there from LV and I have to make the trip on the back of a motor cycle. I am so affraid I am going to get "lost" and just simply lose my mind and freak out completey, and my fiance and friends will not be able to make me better. I'll be taken away by a nut bus.

How FUNNY!!!, Oh, my god :~) I am retarded.

I know I just need to take it one step at a time, no anticipation, let my man know my fears before hand so he can reassure me. I just hope that one of you can relate to these crazy fears so I know Im not alone.

Thanks guys.... Luv to you all!

i understand what you are going through totally, you described how I feel soooo very well, its so scary and I hate it. But ive been doing really good about floating through the feelings and I hope you find that comfort within to help you. my heart is with you, keep doing the program, read and talk to others on here to help!

Do you think you are having anticipatory anxiety about your trip to Laughlin? That happens to me when I know I have something big planned that is not in comfort zone.

You are going to have a great time, go an enjoy yourself! My inlaws just came back from there they live in Vegas, they love it there.

Take care,
Debbie

there-is-light -

Hi Friend! Okay so I am going to the Laughlin run too! Same feelings here! except I'm about 6 hours away, so we will be taking the bikes on a trailer.

Talk about anticipatory anxiety!! That's an understatment. I hate leaving my children for so long too. 4 sleeps!

We will be staying in the same hotel room with a few other friends and family mambers! not to mention same vehicle! I don't party and I'm not really the biker old lady but my husband really wants me to go and I think I need to. I guess I'm just scared thinking everybody is going to be all buzzed and I am going to be the only one with a "sane" (lol) mind!

My husband is so supportive of what I'm going through. I am blessed!

Anyway's I'm sure we will recognize eachother out there j/k again

I know we will be fine. Deep breath in, let it out slow, be calm positive thoughts - I feel better already!

DZ, your SWEET!!

I actually was told today that the run is next weekend.

We have another week to anticipate. HAHAHA!!!

Thank you everyone for your posts I appricate you all very much.

RealtorKacee - I could sure use you on a best friend level. We need people to talk to who know our fears.

Worrying about health issuse seems easier than worrying your going crazy.

Good luck on the run... "4 sleeps" I remember explaining time that way...I'd forgotten.

Just a quick comment...you mention being afraid that your friends wouldn't be able to help you...remember: YOU turn it on and You turn it off. You don't need help-there is no danger. there is no emergency. Panic is just a negative rush. Use the 6 steps before it gets in full swing. You are in control.

Let us know how the trip goes. I believe in you, Carolyn

Hi Guys! I made it to and fro!! Wow, talk about a long journey. It was more like 8 HOURS! Yes I had my wierd spacey times (especially eating out- talk about derealization episodes) Anyways, I'm really proud of myself. After I got home it was hard. I was probably just tired, car sick for sure and I had some vertigo, I felt like I was walking on a moving escalator.

Oh and it was sooooooo HOT! 103' degrees

I'm happy to be home and I was so silly for all that anticipatory anxiety

I made it too!! I thought about you DZ! I was thinking if I only new your number I could call you to rescue me.... HAHAHA!!!

So anyways, it was only and hour and 30 min drive for me, and I had check points. I knew how far I was from searchlight to vegas and Laughlin to searchlight.

Before we left I was already running the senarios through my mind of what would happen. On the way there I realized, and kept repeating to myself, where ever you go... there you are. Which is true. Once we pulled into the parking garage and I got out of the truck it hit me. Now you are here, AN HOUR AWAY FROM HOME!! OH MY GOD HERE IT COMES!!!!!! Dizzy, wobly legs, heavy chest.... and then I calmly said to myself, searchlight is only 15 min. away. It would be a waist of time to freak out. Id be halfway home before I knew it, and then I would want to go back because I was calm and realized I made an A$$ out of myself. It went away just as fast as it came on. Spencer was a big help, he made sure to check in on how my anxiety was periodicly.

We had a great time!! DZ is right, it was hot. DZ I hope you got some cool shirts for a momento =)

I was so amped when I got home for completing that acomplishment. I had Spencer take e for a ride on the Harley all the way to the strip and back. The farthest I have ever ridden. It was about 50 miles there and back. I had a BLAST!!! So peaceful!!

Thanks guys for being there to support us.

Luv yas Bunches!!!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: there-is-light,

There-is-light -

You are so funny! I'm very proud of you!! (And me!). We actually left town on Wednesday, drove to flagstaff, spent the night there then went into Laughlin and stayed there until Sunday morning. It was a trip to see all those people. And the heat was crazy, My husband and his friends wanted to go look at the vendors everyday we were there, me and my sister-in-law would go with them for a few hours but then walk back to the hotel and freeze (lol) It was fun. Oh and there was NO WAY i was gonna ride on the bike in that heat so I was only on it 2 times. We got lots of memorabilia.
It's great to be back home with my babies!

Hi everyone,
Okay - I know that the scary thoughts are an offshoot of anxiety and not to be afraid of them. It's really hard though. I don't want that thought to take hold. Help???? I was doing really well them, and then they just popped back up.

I have the same problem. My thoughts are under control for a while then they get out of hand. Please help.

I stumbled on this information and I think it may be of some help:

Whatever the fear, the pattern that follows is usually predictable. You start to feel a knot in your stomach as you contemplate the thought, and you get sucked into a repetitive thinking pattern of fear. The strong emotion (fear) then powers the thought. When the thought comes again, your body 'remembers' the strong emotion, and the fearful thought has an even stronger connection in your mind.

You may even continue to spend the rest of your day thinking about that fear. It can become very obsessive and may even keep you from concentrating on whatever is at hand.

When you begin to obsess and worry about an issue it is very important not to force the thoughts away -let them in, they are harmless. The more comfortable you can become with them, the better. These thoughts will never go away fully, but what can change is your reaction to them.

Everybody experiences fleeting thoughts that many would consider scary or crazy. The difference between most people and somebody who gets over-anxiously caught up in them, is that the average person sees them for exactly what they are - just thoughts and casually ignores them. Traditionally you would have reacted with anxiety and tried to put that thought out of your mind - This time, however, say :

"That's an interesting idea -I could worry about that, but this time I'm going to do something different- I'm not going to react to it, but I'm also not going to try and stop it, either. I'm just going to watch the thought."


Then the thought comes again, and once again you do exactly the same. As if you were observing a cloud passing overhead, you simply
watch it as it passes by. No judgment. Just observe.

Just watch it, then go about your daily business. See it for what it is, one of the thousands of fleeting sane and insane thoughts every one of us experiences daily.

For some, it helps to imagine the thoughts as if you are watching them on a large cinema screen and the thoughts are projected out in front of you. You watch them but you don't react to them.

Now comes the real trick to turning this situation to your advantage.When things are going well and you are not worrying about anything in particular, actually invite one of your more regular fearful thoughts in!.

Call the fear to you -say you just want it to come close to observe - and again sit back and examine it.

It may seem like the last thing you would wish to bring upon yourself, as you don't particularly enjoy the thoughts. But this approach can be very empowering.
You are now calling the shots this time - you actually invited the issue in. This immediately discharges the fear of the thing that is worrying you.

The fear comes when we pull against it like in a tug of war.

It is the mental struggle that creates the tension. It is the mental conflict of saying "I don't want to think about this" "I don't like that thought- I want it to go away" that causes us the anxiety and stress.


Invite them in willingly and you suddenly place yourself in a unique position of control that you may have never felt you had before. You are no longer a victim of fearful thinking but a decision maker in what you will or will not be concerned about.

Use this technique for any thought about which you find yourself
worrying about. It will disempower it immediately and leave
you feeling in control.

As with every technique there is always a level of practice
involved in the beginning. Initially you may fall into the
trap of getting anxious about the fearful thought itself.

But keep at it. Practice inviting the fear and you will quickly
see how less impacting those fearful thoughts become.

Honey, all I can say is - bless your heart and thank you!