many of these thoughts seem to be abot hurting yourself or othersand there are times that I do feel this way but I feel that this is something I pretty much have control over.
my problem however is zoning completely out of it and obssesing about my negative self esteem.It doesn't sound all too serious but believe me these thoughts to me are also very scary.I catch myself thinking at times that I may never be able to be normal and the thoughts just race and race into oblivion somewhere.I see guys at my workplace talking to girls so freely and confidently that it makes me depressed and I walk around all day obssesing about it.All it takes at this point is to see an attractive girl somewhere and it trigors all the obssesive thoughts about my inability to socialize and my insecure self image.
It's just like that Mike guy says on the tapes ,all he would have to do is see a table and it would remind him of wood,God made trees and then he would be back to that obssesive God thought again.Every time I see a happy group of people walking through town just laughing and having a good time it trigors those same obssesive thoughts again.It happens most when I see a couple together holding hands and laughing together I get this incredible awareness of my fear of meeting new people and the thoughts get trigored and just race to nowhere.
It's kind of embarassing but I think someone needs to know.I get these girls in town giving me these looks and as much as I want to go over and say something,I just can't so I just walk away and obasses about the "me being a chicken shit "thought
If anyone can relate or add something please do.I am trying to soak up lesson 10 and it is really helping so far ,but I thought I would post this to see if I was the only guy with this stumbling block in his life.

IKE21

I think the reason you are obsessing on hurting yourself or someone else is b/c you are avoiding the more serious problem..Your self-esteem...Let me ask you this, what makes you think that other guys don't have the same fears and apprehensions as you do..?Trust me, more guys then you could imagine have a very difficult time talking to women. A lot of guys I know will not attempt to talk to a girl in fear that they will be rejected (especially if she is very pretty).

I am a girl, so I am telling you this from my point of view..You know how you said that most of the guys at work seem to be confident when they are talking to girls...Well, let me say this..most of it is a show...I truly believe that when people first meet each other they pretend to be and act like they are something they aren't..I am not saying that everyone puts up a front,,but even though those guys might seem calm, cool, and collect,,I can bet you anything most of them have butterflies in their stomach too..Trying to act macho, and suave...It really is not just you that gets nervous..Some people can just hide it better then others..What you have to do is get a friend of yours (GIRL) and hang out with her..Start to feel comfortable with the opposite sex...We don't bite..As a matter of fact, coming from someone who is a girl and has anxiety, women get extremely nervous too..Especially me, I start to analyze everything and make myself sick..In the end, you will realize that you are working yourself up for nothing..

And let me leave you by saying this..I bet you anything that you are probably one of the nicest, most sincere, honest, fun loving guys in the world..Don't hide it..This is what women are looking for....

Hey buddy. I am a cute, 19 year old male who has definately had trouble with women! Listen to me.....its a PROCESS. You and I have the tools to deal with this fear head on and to let it dissipate. Talk about gettin the edge over the other guys!A year ago I resented me relationships towards women. Today, I mean this day, I went on a lunch date with the prettiest girl I have ever asked out. At that, I got her number in a grocery store. WHile it may seem like I am braggin here, the point is that you can do this too. Get a counselor, take care of urself, find things in ur life that YOU love (this is key, women love a man who loves his life), and lastly, start studying books on women in coincidence with the program. That's it man, no more excuses cuz I have told ya. Im no casenova, but hey, compared to where I was I am better than any old "casenova". Be encouraged, and keep up the great work. I have seen ur post before and you seem persistent. Take care Bro.