MAYBE SOMEONE CAN RELATE AND HELP ME WITH THIS. MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT I WILL HALLUCINATE. I AM SO AFRAID OF "SEEING THINGS." THE THOUGHTS BECOME SO POWERFUL THAT I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO DO IT. THE THINGS I THINK I MIGHT SEE VARY FROM MONSTERS, TO SPIDERS, TO PEOPLE. IT VARIES DAY BY DAY. I AM 36 YRS OLD, I HAVE HAD ANXIETY FOR ABOUT 16YRS, BUT THESE THOUGHTS ARE RELATIVELY NEW TO ME. THERE ARE TIMES I'M AFRAID TO OPEN MY EYES. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP BY SHARING IF YOU'VE HAD THIS TOO. I HAVE FOUND THAT LEARNING OF SOMEONE WITH LIKE "SYMPTOMS" OF ANXIETY HAS HELPED ME IN THE PAST WITH OTHER THINGS. I HAVE LISTENED TO LESSON 10 SEVERAL TIMES, AND SOMETIMES IT HELPS, SOMETIMES NOT. THANKS TO ANYONE WILLING TO SHARE YOUR STORY WITH ME.

Oh, honey (and I mean that as a term of endearment, not condescension), you're going to be fine.

First of all, it seems to me that you have become informed about psychotic symptoms just enough to obsess over them and essentially get yourself "freaked out." I'm not going to discuss with you in this message what my fears of hallucinations revolved around because I don't want you to find new things to obsess over. You're in a weak stage right now, and you're sensitive. Someday, you'll be able to listen to people's fears again without bringing them upon yourself, but in due time those will be the circumstances. They're not now. But know that I can relate exactly to what you're saying, and keep reading.

I also want you to know that when I was extensively covering mental illnesses in my psychology classes, I had what many doctors refer to as "second year syndrome," otherwise known as "OH MY GOD I PROBABLY HAVE THAT TOO!"
I was afraid of hallucinating too. It's common for people who are actually suffering from clinical or major depression to obsess over the perceived possibility of "going crazy." Do you know how often it happens? It doesn't.

I also know that you'll find this comforting but also hard to grasp overnight. Many people with anxiety disorder or major depression have this phobia, this obstacle to overcome about fearing "going crazy."

I just want you to know how much I utterly sympathize and empathize with you. I can feel your anxiety because I had it. I can feel your knotted stomach and muscle tension and fear and spacey feelings and feelings of unreality.
But I sit here today in front of my computer with an honest proclamation to you: I am better. You will recover from this fear too. Believe me. Trust me.
It was probably one of the scariest times of my life, but now I am a stronger person. I appreciate life and the world and people so much more. I am more understanding, less judgmental, easier going during the day, and more. One day, these months will be seen as a catalyst for growth, not a rut of pain and fear and anxiety and sadness and depression.
I'm not going to put a timetable on you because then you could become disappointed with yourself if you don't fully recover after a designated amount of time, but I can promise you that you will live through it and survive and recover.
Email me, contact me if you want. My email's unrealauthor@hotmail.com

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with me. I believe that alone will help me, just to know that someone else had this fear. I am doing better with overcoming my fears. Its just one day something won't bother me and the next day that very same thing can drive me "crazy." I am almost done with my program, but I will never truly be finished with it. I plan to repeat it as soon as I finish week 15. I can never grow positive enough. And who knows, maybe I missed something the first go round. Thanks again for your help, I will email you and let you know how things go.

Oh gosh I TOTALLY relate! I have that fear too. I have had it for about the past year off and on.

And actually, for me. . .I have even scared myself into my eyes playing tricks on me at night at times in the dark.

I went to a psychiatrist and told her about it. I was sure she was going to put me on some sort of psychotic drug. LOL

But you know what she said to me? She told me that if you really are hallucinating, then you won't "think" you're hallucinating, or you won't worry about it. You would see something and actually think it's real.

My mother in law had a problem with that (she's elderly) due to a mix-up with medications, and nobody could convince her that what she thought was happening was her imagination.

My issues are nothing like that. I'll wake up and see something fuzzy in the air or something and I know it's just my eyes waking up and then it goes away. But then at times I start scaring myself saying. . . "oh no was that a hallucination?" "Am I going crazy?"

It's then that I have to remind myself what my psych told me about it, and base it on fact not worry and I feel better.

Not sure if that helps at all but I hope so!

Hi,
I just wanted to say that there is a writer, Pam Vredevelt who understands anxiety and trauma. She says that people with anxiety have great imaginations and are extremely visual. So this makes sense that you are using your imagination to scare yourself and thinking that you will see something that's not real. You just have anxiety.
One time, I took a medication that ended up making me have a few auditory hallucinations and it scared me at first because I didn't know it was the medication. After I got off of the medicine, I kept asking my family did they see what I saw, etc. because I was so afraid. I never hallucinated again after I got off of the medicine, but it just scared me for a while. I'm still a little sensitive. But, the hallucinations I had were caused by medicine, and happened upon falling asleep. These hallucinations can happen to anyone. All of us can hallucinate if we haven't had sleep or if we are falling asleep or just waking up. So, I'm not saying that nothing is wrong with us if walked around hallucinating all day long, but it is normal for all of us every once in a while to be tricked in our perceptions a little. To me, this takes some of the fear away. You're definitely not alone in your fear, and don't worry about how many times you do the program, etc. Progress takes time and is often unpredictable. You may think that you will have to do the program again the whole way through, and then be surprised that you just needed to hear one of the tapes again, etc. You just keep on keeping on without beating yourself up. We are all works in progress until we are finished on this planet.
Take Care,
luvpiggy

Thanks guys for your insight and taking time to share your expriences with me. It helps more than you can imagine.

This is so helpful! because I too worry about hallucinating and hearing voices even though I never have. I just worry about the thought that I could develop something more serious.