I posted earlier that out of knowhere I started obssessing about becoming an obsessive hand washer. Well I have'nt started washing my hands, what a surprise. Ha Ha.

Now I've progressed to worrying that I wont be able to touch anything and I'll be a crazy disfunctioning mental case that will be alone isolated from the world. a total wierdo. My therapist says "Now that's a scary one, so what, it's just a thought that will never come true".

WHY DON'T I BELIEVE HIM!!!!!!!! That this is just anxiety and my mind getting the best of me. He Says "This fear is not real. Non of your fears are real, say so what and move on."


I am feeling very depressed that my life will be like this forever. If you can relate please let me know how I can comfort myself.I wish I didn't use the name Hope because right now I do not feel like I have any.

Hope -- hang on! I think there are many of us who at some point along the way thought we were going crazy and were going to do really strange things. You know what -- we haven't. I can understand your frustration with yourself when it comes to not believing your therapist. I think, though, that more frustration comes from not believing yourself. You are caught in a cycle of really negative thinking and the only way out is to take that step and believe in yourself. You have to make a conscious decision to break the cycle. Counter your "what ifs" with positive "what ifs." Write positive things down on paper and read them on a regular basis. When you start obsessing, counter the obsessive thoughts with positive thoughts. Bombard yourself with positives!!! Things like "what if I stay relaxed during the morning hours? What if I stay in the present and really enjoy myself? What if I get rid of the anxiety and live the rest of my life happy, contented, and confident?" All of these can happen.

I had so many negative fears and what ifs that I've lost count of all of them. There were days that I didn't believe my therapist either. There were days I really wondered if I would be able to laugh about my anxious, scary thoughts like some of the people on the Attacking Anxiety tapes. You just have to believe that you are capable of being at peace. Find and focus on everything positive that you can. Buy some flowers and put them in your kitchen. Listen to your favorite music. Read a favorite passage in a book. Anything that makes you feel good, warm, contented. Refuse to allow yourself to entertain negative thoughts. If we are so creative in devising negative thoughts to scare ourselves, we should really be good at creating positive things to calm. Give it a try. Hopefully you will find a more peaceful day ahead!

Hope,

My board name is hope40 and I just read your message. I hope you have gotten some relief by now. I completely understand how you feel, and trust me when I say you are in a horrible fear cycle. IT WILL GET BETTER! I didn't think I would ever be better and I am, Thank God. It's a terrifying feeling. Hope, you will not lose control the only thing that's out of control right now is your thoughts and fears. You must do something with someone to take your mind off of this as much as possible. Go for a ride, go to a funny movie, something. I have been to the movie or gone for a walk just convinced that I would be taken to a mental institution before it was over. But that didn't happen and I made it. Also, you may have to take 5 minutes at a time instead of a day at a time. Educate yourself on anxiety. It can rob your life and any joy. Tell yourself it's just anxiety. One of the biggest things that helped me was God's word. Isaiah 43:1-3 was a tremendous help to me because God tells us He will not let this become more than we can handle.

I know it took me a lot of years of worrying and being stressed out for this to happen to me and I have made some big changes in my life, you may need to do some reviewing and weeding out yourself. These thoughts are pure anxiety and if we can remember that in the heat of it, we have just taken the biggest step, I think.

You will be fine. I am and I didn't think way very long ago.

Take care,

Hope40

ps,I do take Xanax at bedtime, you may want to inquire about an anti-anxiety med. It was a big welcome for me.

Thanks for the reply, just one question. When you guys have scary thoughts , do they linger for days. I have had this one for over a week and I am scared that it will never leave me. Will it eventually leave?

What if I have this fear for the rest of my life, I cannot live this way. Have yyou found that the scary thoughts eventually go away.

I also feel that it is being complicated by my depression. I am severely depressed so this causes me to figure out why. So my mind attaches to the scary thought. I am hoping that once I get the deppression under control I will be able to feel possitive feelings again and not let the svary thought affect me.

What do you think. Thank you.

Hi Hope,

I had to monitor what I say because I didnt want to get you confuse with Hope40. Hope, trust me, I know what you are going through. Unfortunately that is my worse fear yet, and something that I dread everyday. And its been like this for the last two months now. But, dont get depressed, I only "put myself through this" because I watched my brother go through a mentally ill episode. So everyday I dwelt on his situation thinking that it will happen to me. Guess what? It hasnt, and it never will. I havent surelly convinced myself of that notion nor has my therapist convinced me yet, but I do accept and now understand that it is just a "thought" charged with fear. ITS NOT REAL.

Yes, it will go away in due time and you wont fear it again, I can guarantee you that. Your anxious moment combined with your depressed makes you feel hopeless and that you cant do anything about it, but you can and you will. This is only temporary and the thoughts plus the fear is only part of the anxiety. I hope you can take from someone who is going through everyday the drama you are dealing with. Hope40, and Mountaingirl know exactly what they are talking about so read their post when ever you need the reassurance. Trust me, I had to that numerous times.

So to answer your question again, it all depends on you. They can linger for just a little bit, but then it will be easier for you to practice telling yourself that it is just an obsessive scary thought "THATS IT". But when it goes away, also tell yourself that scary thoughts will appear but they are ONLY THOUGHTS. NO you will not be stuck with this thought and fear for the rest of your life.

Currently I am training and learning how to separate my thoughts from the fear, it makes it easier for me to see they are just two second thoughts that float in and can easily float out.

Love and God Bless.......

SaSa

I hope I helped some.....if you need to talk e-mail me okay....

quote:

Originally posted by hope:
I posted earlier that out of knowhere I started obssessing about becoming an obsessive hand washer. Well I have'nt started washing my hands, what a surprise. Ha Ha.

Now I've progressed to worrying that I wont be able to touch anything and I'll be a crazy disfunctioning mental case that will be alone isolated from the world. a total wierdo. My therapist says "Now that's a scary one, so what, it's just a thought that will never come true".

WHY DON'T I BELIEVE HIM!!!!!!!! That this is just anxiety and my mind getting the best of me. He Says "This fear is not real. Non of your fears are real, say so what and move on."


I am feeling very depressed that my life will be like this forever. If you can relate please let me know how I can comfort myself.I wish I didn't use the name Hope because right now I do not feel like I have any.

Dear Hope,
I totally understand what you are going through. I believe that there is something that triggers a behavior. It just might be that you haven't put two and two together. The handwashing most likely stopped because it is mentally not your priority. Now, touching is. If it is a new behavior then it will be easier to get rid off more then one that has been going on a long time and you must believe it. I think it is related somewhat to the handwashing (cleaness to perfection). You may now think if you touch something or someone then you will be harmed by germs or something . . . Find something that brings you comfort that is clean and allow yourself to touch it for the count of two. That something can be a stuffed animal, a soft scarf-- something new and pretty or soft and not a light color that shows dirt. When you touch it say to yourself that this feels so soft and its clean. Then observe, your hands are okay and you are still alive. Even if you go panicy, you did it. Slowly, add seconds and slowly other objects. Gradually, tell yourself that it's okay if it gets a little soiled because it won't hurt you. It can be cleaned or replaced.
If you fear what you touch wil hurt you then tell yourself that you are strong and in control, and it has no power over you.
Hope is a good name because you are hopeful. You are not crazy or in anyway going to loose it. Most people have some sort of fears and odd habits. They just don't let on. Also, sometime when we are preoccupied with a fear it takes time away from what is really bothering us and therefore we don't have to face what is a reality. Could that be what is going on in your life? Or has someone hurt you in your past that has resulted in this behavior? If so, remember that you are very much alive and in spite of it! My own qoute to you, "To touch and be touched by another human is called love and that is what we need to thrive." Victoria