I am so glad I am not alone about these scary thoughts. Like so many others these thoughts started when I was in my teens. I was going out with a great girl, who I am actually still friends with today, and these thoughts started to occur. They started after I watched an episode of Dawson's Creek where one of the Characters came out of the closet. I was so scared and had no Idea what was going on. Eventually over time the thoughts stopped. But, recently since I have started this program these thoughts came back and are really scaring the hell out of me. I found this program after I thought about hurting people in my family. But, now I ahev moved passed that a draged up a thought from the past that is crippling my everyday life. I know over time they should go away and just knowing I am not alone on this topic as helped greatly. I also have a question about what is the best way to let these thoughts pass. The thoughts only thoughts thing worked for me before but it is a little harder this time.

This is the first time I am writting but I have been reading the posts faithfully the past couple of weeks. Anyone that can give me advice I would greatly appreciate it. I too suffer from disturbing sexual thoughts and I am trying my best to accept them and let them be there but were I have the most difficulty is about worry when I am going to have the next thought. The ruminations sometimes are the worst part of the problem for me. It has me thinking sometimes will it ever end? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I too suffer with disturbing sexual thoughts. I have had them since I was a little girl. I finally worked up the courage to tell my Mom about them and what she told me surprised me.
She said, " Deborah, I had them when I was a little girl too." "I really believe" , she said,"that they are a generational curse that has been passed down through our family blood line". This made me feel better but it hasn't taken away my everyday struggle. I honestly believe that we are in a tug of war with our heads every day! There is a battle being fought around us for our lives and peace of mind. We have to fight with God's Word in our hearts coming out of our mouths!!! Jesus said, "IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS. BUT BE OF GOOD CHEER, I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD!"
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH!!! LOVE, DEB

I watched a part in the movie where these 2 people had sex. I remember watching it over and over again and it turned me on and I think i am getting these feelings more when i hear the girl make the moans, What if this means im gay? I try to calm myself but it still scares me and won't go away.

This is nothing more then just a side effect of an obsessive thought. It is two people making love, having sex...Of course I'm gonna feel these sensations, I'm supposed to. I know what this is and how to handle it. This is just a thought and it doesn't mean I'm gay. Here is just my brain making up stuff to freak me out again with garbage from the past. I'm gonna let myself feel it and let it slowly, but surely float away. It's just a thought.

I am also afraid that I will be tempted to watch it again and it will just make it worse. In my mind, I guess I think that the more I watch it, then the more i will find an answer and i won't be afraid anymore.

This is not a behavior I need or want to do. This is simply just a thought telling me I need to do so. It's okay to see things spontaneously. However, this is just a habit and I am capable of breaking it. I don't have to chase down every thought to see how scary it gets. I know what this is and how to handle it. I will invest my time in an activity that is more productive and this feeling will eventually pass. No big deal.

(I wrote this out hoping it would make me feel better. It's better than holding it all in by yourself It did and I'm hoping people here will understand where I'm coming from. If anyone could give me any encouragement, I would so appreciate it.)

Hi Noelle,

I think I can offer you some peace of mind. Check out "ocdonline.com" Click on the article, "I think it moved." After you read that, I think you'll feel a lot better about your sexual thoughts. I have them too. But, I just sort of laugh them off now. I hope this helps. Keep smiling, they are only thoughts, they aren't who you are.
Amber

Trust yourself, Noelle. Practice this. You are right. The sexual thoughts are a side effect of obsessive thinking. The mind clasps onto anything and when you react (or overreact) the thoughts get louder and louder and they don't seem to go away. Then you fear them coming back and that is resistance. That resistance to what you are hearing is your source of pain. Practice allowing the thoughts to come and go. Doesn't matter what they are or what they say. Just allow them to be there without you judging them. Do not fight anymore. When I didn't give a hoot if I had the thoughts or not, they ceased to bother me anymore. I might hear a thought or two once in a blue moon and I just let it come and go.

Remember - your thoughts are lies. They are not who you are. Keep working on this. The website Amber Lee recommended will help to comfort you. Also, a good read is Stop Obsessing by Foa and Wilson and The Imp of the Mind by Lee Baer talks specifically about sexual thoughts and images and really is supportive and a feel good book.

Blessings.

ONe of the best posts I've seen yet. I have these "beautifully" distracting thoughts a lot, and from what I'm finding in my search for health is that this Pure-O is slowly becoming more well known and finding a therapist who can notice it and help with problems is a little difficult. These thoughts have been a big part of my anxiety/depression for the last five years and it wasn't until recently with this forum and books that I've found something that describes my problems so well. I think we all have a problem letting go and letting these thoughts flow. I'm sure most of us are highly intellectual people with some control issues. There is a lot of time that goes by that i don't believe I can let these thoughts go, but I'm begging to. It's like learning a new instrument. It's very frustrating at first, but after lots of practice it becomes like second nature. My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this crap. Just know that there is help and people who care, just stick with it. You are not alone even though it may fell like it. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Change is very difficult and everything worth it is. PEACE and LOVE.

I'll have to check out that 'I think it moved' site. Made me laugh to hear that. But it is oh so true. Man, its amazing how scared I get of getting the 'wrong' feelings. Why is sexuality so scary?

Most days I am not scared of these random sexual thoughts. The times it does come up is when I actually have a chance to get closer to people, men and women alike. It can be when I'm having a nice conversation with a female coworker at work for example. All of a sudden I'm afraid I'll stare at her chest or her butt. Worse yet, get caught. Then I just laugh to myself and in my mind picture myself screaming and waving my arms while running around in a circle "I looked at her butt, oh no I'm going to go blind. AHHHHHH" Sometimes that helps. Usually the work environment is really stressful. I wonder if that's the distraction...

Thanks for writing.

Thanks for the comforting thoughts all I didn't even think i would get any responses at all so this made me feel even the more better. Deb, I totally agree with you about work being stressful. Every night before I know i have work the next day, I distract myself with a behavior which scares me. I'm trying to work myself through it, but now I'm slowly realizing that maybe instead of dealing being in an awkward place or feeling awkward in general, I distract myself with this type of behavior/thought. Also part of me got scared around a girl who I thought was very attractive, But then I looked back and I remembered something. When I first started working there, she was one of the people I remember who wasn't very welcoming to me plus the added inferiority of her being pretty and blonde. Maybe that is just fuel to the power? Who knows, but I do know I'm trying to get over this and that's the important thing, right?

I just read the article on ocdonline.com. Some parts were very helpful and made me feel more at ease but then I wondered why they would compare people who were "coming out of the closet" to people who were just having these intrusive thoughts. Were they just saying there is a difference to people who actually are rather than others who are just suffering with a symptom of obsessive compulsive?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ~Noelle~,

I get these reoccuring thought every time I get my nails done. See, I think if I pick out a color that I see someone else has, it means im just like them. Like I was watching the Hills today, and I got those feelings again and it made me question if i was gay again. Now that I got my nails down I thought what if it means I
like girls if I stick my finger "up there" cuz I was thinking about a thought of worrying about being someone else cuz I picked a similiar color. See, if I didn't have my nails colored i would be okay, Cuz then it wouldn't remind me of this thought.

Wow, now that I wrote it out for me to see it just seems so funny and it released a lot of my anxiety. Instead I can tell myself, These are only thoughts. This is really based on a control issue I am working on getting rid of. My sensations are just based on these intrusive thoughts that are not based on who I am. I am working on accepting these thoughts and every day I am slowy but SURELY becoming better at coping with them. I will get over this.

(It seems like it's so much better to write some on here then on paper. It feels like they can just flow out better when I type it. Maybe it's the fact knowing no one will judge me and the security of this site.)

Thank you all for your time and effort in adding to this page. We truly are all in this together.

I am 23 now and have experienced obsessive scary sexual thoughts to the point of sensitizing myself to children and other people. I know that I would not act on these thoughts. That is not the problem. The problem comes when my mind says "Even though you know you won't act on these thoughts, you want to." I know this is not true. I become afraid that I somehow repressed these desires all along. Even writing this is frighteneing. To make matters even more challenging, I feel guilty about things I did as a young teen and child. I never actually hurt or abused anyone. I need to remember that.

I need to remember that we grow and are never static. Life is a process. The thoughts and fantasies I had as a young teen have no relevance in regards to who I am now. The scary thoughts that I have now feed on whatever sore spots there are in my mind. I am human. I am growing. I'll recognise my thoughts as only thoughts and realize like someone said earlier, I am who is observing the thoughts.

I am thankful for you all, and I am thankful for this form of communication.

Bless.

I was just wondering if any of you have read Imp of the Mind. It has some good tools to cope with your fears, Like exposure therapy but when I read this, I was just like, oh my god I can't do that. How anyone tried exposing their fears? I'm at the point now where I'm like okay, I need to do something cuz I can't stand living with these thoughts anymore. Any responses would be nice

I am reading all these sexual disorders. And one is about spying and looking at sex and enjoying it. Well, when I was little i peeked down on another girl and her mother said something to me like i was weird. I also watched the notebook a lot of times whenever i got those feelings when they had, does this mean i am just like them and i have a sexual disorder? Something is wrong with me.

There goes my brain over reacting to things I am learning in school. It has no value to me and it is okay for me to be obsessing about this right now. It's not something i hear of every day so of course im feeling this way.

The other day I woke up with a dream. That i was gonna marry my brother and that i was waiting to have sex with him. In the dream I was doubting it cuz I was afraid it was gonna hurt and plus it was with someone from my family. I talked myself through it when I woke up, Cuz I knew the night before i was extremely depressed and anxious with the thoughts I was having but something on a friend's away message set me off again. It was saying how "What if what you thought wasnt true was?" The thoughts well what if i really do this came about. This really scares me.

Here is my brain freaking me out again with inappropriate thoughts. Who cares what the quote says? It isn't based on who I am. This is just my ocd talking and it is okay to feel it right now. They are nothing more then thoughts and i can handle them.

I hope nobody minds that i am writing some down freely like this. Some times its better to type them down and let them go. If there is a problem, just let me know

i dont mean to be personal but have you had sex before?