hi, i hope someone could help me. i'm always dwelling on my health. i've had tons of test and thank God i'm fine, but i don't understand why i keep thinking there is something wrong with me. if i have a symptom of something i will let it ruin my day by dwelling on it all day. please help me.

hi andrew, what does seconary gains mean? i heard the tape that they talk about it but i still don't quite understand it.

This is definitely a question that has always gotten my dander up.

Every counselor in the world is taught to ask this question. I wish they would stop it. It makes a person feel like they are to blame in a NEGATIVE way for their problem, therefore vitimizing them yet again.

Would we ask someone with cancer what their secondary gain is? I certainly hope not.

Having said that, I do beleive that we did cause the panic or depression into our bodies - - - though, not consciencely or for social attention. I think it arrived as a coping mechanism after many years of high stress situations, eating poorly, sleep deprivation, and ignoring syptoms we didn't understand. Our bodies continually sent us signals to slow down, yet we ignored them. Then our bodies finally sent us a panic attack or depression to make us stop. Once that happened, we started to fear the panic and since we didn't start with any GOOD coping skills to begin with, the panic continues on a treadmill type effect.

We just need to learn how to jump off the treadmill and listen to our bodies.

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Always Hopeful, Betsy H.
Marietta, GA (East Cobb)

[This message has been edited by EastCobbGABetsyH (edited 04-22-2001).]

i have had those thoughts for a while i believe since i was 13, and they are getting better ever since i read lucienda bassets book, it has really made me think. I still get sick, buit not HALF as bad as i used to make myself, i wish you all the best.

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~*allie*~