Hi Ya'll,

My name is Jason. I am 24. I completed the Attackin Anxiety program last month. It really did alot of good things for me. However, I have always had a major prolbem with obsessive thinking with this disorder since i was 16. I have been on and off paxil for panic attacks since 1997. However, the hardest thing for me is the obsessive thoughts. Recently in my life i have had some really bad things happen. My dad left my mom and sisters, and i found out that he was always unfaithful, and i have a brother that i have never met. This proabably helps fuel the obsessive thoughts, but they have always been an issue with me. Recently, my obsessive thoughts were "What if I quit breathing, or willed myself to quit breathing?" Well once i got over that, I thought about "What if I lost control and hurt some innocent person"? I know that i would never do these things, but the thought causes so much distress. It seems so real. I actually get scared that I am losing my mind. I know it's all part of the condition, but what do you do when you just keep on having trouble with the obsessive thoughts? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Jason

Hello Jason,

I'm just getting into Lucinda's program, but I've been dealing with this for years & have been able to overcome many obstacles. One thing that touched me in your post was your "what if" questions that flood your head. I've even had the very same one you spoke of, wondering if you would stop breathing...etc. when I was only 8 years old. This type of thing is maleable and can take the shape of any form. I have thought "what if..." for 1000's of things that frighten me. It's a difficult pattern to break when you've done it to yourself for as long as you can remember. The other day I took a nice long walk to ease my mind. When you start your walk, you'll be full of tense ideas & thoughts, and by the time you return home your mind will start to clear. I was thinking to myself, why should I feel so guilty for negative thoughts...movie writers & novel writers imagine the most horrific thoughts and get paid millions to publish them to the public. Just because we are so highly imaginative & creative enough to think of these things does not mean anything is wrong with us. Just because we think them does not mean that we will act. We are only highly analyical beings that like to speculate. We also feel such compassion and empathay towards others that suffer--that we imagine that we ourselves are feeling their pain.

When I hear of other peoples tragedies, I often have to tell myself that it's not me. Feel compassion & then let it go.

Perhaps you need to feed your creative fire as I do. I'm an artist & when I don't get enough time for myself & time to create art, my creative energy gets spent on worrying.

1. Take walks alone.
2. Do some type of exercise like yoga, tai chi, etc.
3. Don't fight your thoughts. Make new ones.

My friend told me that I am the one in control of my thoughts & I am the one holding on to them. I can release them.

So I decided that since I have such a creative mind that I can put that to good use. I can also counter these negative thoughts with equally silly ones.
ex: What if I get stopped breathing????
countered with: What if butterflies danced on my nose?

It's all so silly yet very real at the moment. And that's what we hate the most...how silly it all is. Like a little kid afraid of the dark. So I decided to try to make my "what if's" even sillier.

It takes time & practice. Try to nip it in the bud before it takes over. Try to stop & say this is silly!

I'm ready to try too!
There's so many of us out there...let's change that!!

It helps me just to write to you.
I wish you well!

Rachel

Dear Jason

One of the things that I disagree with the program is the notion of trying to change your obsesive scary thoughts for different ones. I once had very obsesive scary thoughts and what helped me tremendously is first of all knowing where they came from, and secondly letting them come.

Let me explain. The reason people get obsesive scary thoughts is actually quite simple. When our brains are over tired from stress, worry, anxiety, ect... sometimes we will get a scary fleeting thought (as anyone could) and because our brains are tired and because this thought is distubing to us, it sticks. The more we try to fight it and rid ourselves of it the more prevalant they (it) become, and boom, the next thing you know, you have an obsesive disorder. It's that simple. The trick is not to be afraid to think them. Be prepared to live with them for the time being, let them come at will. Do not be afraid to have these thoughts, give yourself permission to let them come at will, and except them witout adding any more fear to them. Do not add the what ifs or the oh my goodnesses. There is no special reason you have these thoughts. You are not going crazy. This is a situation, that belive it or not just took a usual course under the circumstances. There is no reason to feel guilty or doubt yourself because of them. THEY ARE ONLY THOUGHTS. Like I said, let them come, don't add any "what ifs", accept them as nothing more than anxiety, do not be afraid to have them, and be prepared to live with them for the time being. If you do this, they will eventually pass. They are just like any other aspect of anxiety, once you aren't afraid of them any more, they don't come back.

Hope this helps, Mellie

Jason,

I can totally relate to you on this one! I am 23 (we are so young, but such big worry warts...I swear I'm turning 50 next year! ) Anyway, I can relate because it's so true when they say that your scary thoughts are distractions. Last week I went to my first movie in a really long time, since I was "really bad" (when all I could think about was when I was going to have a panic attack) and I kept obsessing (since I had a headache) that I was going to have a stroke or anyrism (I don't know how to spell it). I just kept telling myself that they were thoughts. My headache kept up because I think I was just tired, but I just tried telling myself that they were thoughts...because that's all they are. I didn't really give them too much thought and I enjoyed the movie and the next day went to another one! Just try not to give them any fuel because that's when the trouble starts. You won't/can't forget to breathe...your involuntary muscles/nerves will keep you breathing! If you want more info let me know...it's in a book I was reading. Anyway, I think I have said enough for now...you aren't alone...just hang in there!
Take care,
Cindy

Hi Jason,

visualize yourself doing some of these things in a humorous way.. Okay ur afraid you might hurt someone (the thought) when that thought comes to mind ... change it to you are stalking this person with a large trout in hand ready to attack. Hope this helps. Dawn

quote:

Originally posted by JasonDS:
Hi Ya'll,

My name is Jason. I am 24. I completed the Attackin Anxiety program last month. It really did alot of good things for me. However, I have always had a major prolbem with obsessive thinking with this disorder since i was 16. I have been on and off paxil for panic attacks since 1997. However, the hardest thing for me is the obsessive thoughts. Recently in my life i have had some really bad things happen. My dad left my mom and sisters, and i found out that he was always unfaithful, and i have a brother that i have never met. This proabably helps fuel the obsessive thoughts, but they have always been an issue with me. Recently, my obsessive thoughts were "What if I quit breathing, or willed myself to quit breathing?" Well once i got over that, I thought about "What if I lost control and hurt some innocent person"? I know that i would never do these things, but the thought causes so much distress. It seems so real. I actually get scared that I am losing my mind. I know it's all part of the condition, but what do you do when you just keep on having trouble with the obsessive thoughts? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Jason

as for the stopping breathing:

Imagine yourself holding your breath and at the same time ur head begins to grow getting real big and red like a giant tomato..visualize ur cheeks puffing out real exaggeratingly. This thought should end up making u laugh...

Hope this helps!

Dawn M

quote:

Originally posted by Dawn M:
Hi Jason,

visualize yourself doing some of these things in a humorous way.. Okay ur afraid you might hurt someone (the thought) when that thought comes to mind ... change it to you are stalking this person with a large trout in hand ready to attack. Hope this helps. Dawn