Hello Group-
I feel really stupid ttalking about what Im going to discuss, but I need to, because there is not any people I can talk to about this. This problem is a major cause of my anxiety and causes me sadness, actually its a person and the man is my exhusband. We were high school sweethearts, got married and had two kids. We divorced almost 4 years ago, because we were young and immature.( we were together for almost 8 yrs) Shortly I got pregnant by someone else while we were trying to put the marriage back togehter. We have been hanging out on and off since the birth of my third child ( almost 3 yrs ago) despite the fact that he got remarried. He calls me on occasion and wants to hang out and of course one thing leads to another. This has been going on since the divorce.I told him Of course I love him and it makes it diffcult for me to hang out. He has moved in and out of his home, because his wife and him have lots of issues. I cant seem to let go and neither can he ( at least that is what im feeling, because he always makes it back to my door step. Yes, his wife knows about our back and forth thing and she told me she didnt care. I just dont know what to make out of the whole thing, it makes me cry, but at the samer time when I see him i getr losdt in his arms. I live with my youngests dad, to make things more complicated and he aint right for me and he knows my ex and I still have these unresolved issues. When ever I bring it up to my ex he changes the subject, but yet calls me again.... Please help... Advice would be appreciated Thanks for listening......

Carolyn-
Thank You for responding. You didnt hurt my feelings one bit.. I appreciate the honesty for a change. Sometimes my fears holds me back from letting go. I hope it will get easier over time. Thanks again....
Vanessa

Dearest vhethler...he calls because he knows you'll answer...I don't intend to hurt your feelings but I bet this whole lifestyle causes huge amounts of tension.

Have you gone to a counselor and worked just on you? It sounds like you have what is called a "hole in your soul." There is a missing piece and you are trying to fill it. The choices you make for filling material-can't be making you happy. ?

You deserve honest love and respect. The ex is a familiar place to fall but how do we respect him? He hasn't the courage to end a marriage, he openly cheats on his wife, he calls you and loves it that you can't resist...ego whew...

Do you really want that kind of man? You are a pretty, intelligent, probably hard working young woman...you deserve a better choice...but only you can give up the addiction to whatever you think is fulfilling you...please work on this with a therapist.

Well, I hope you take what I've said in the spirit it was meant...I hope I haven't hurt your feelings...I just want more for you and would say the same things to my own daughters.

Choose Real love, C.