Hi everyone,
I just started the program this week. I have suffered from an anxiety disorder for the past 8 years. I have been on meds for most of that time. I have gotten by, but I never really enjoy things as I should. For years I wanted to have a baby, but I was too afraid of the risks with the meds and too afraid of being off of them with the added bodily changes that pregnancy causes. Now I am 6 1/2 months pregnant and off all meds and terrified. I have good days and then very bad days. Not too sure why every day is so different. Some days seems like an eternity. I have no faith in myself to get by w/out meds. I have this belief that I am just so bad that I need them. I see a great therapist and he believes I can do it w/out meds. I only have a few months to go. I am scared, but determined to do it. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

hi everyone! i'm only 6 wks pregnant and am dealing w/anxiety myself. do you ever feel like your anxiety is going to jeopardize your babie's health? i do all the time which is making it hard to relax. this is my first pregnancy and i'm scared out of my mind.
do any of u feel the same way and if so, what helps u relax? the relaxation cd doesn't work that well for me. it needs to be longer. as soon as the first segment's over, i'm just beginning to relax and then she starts all over and it wakes me up.

I totally understand. Sometimes it's nice to get the individualized feedback. I found a great cognitive behavioral therapist (after dozens of others) that has really started to help me. It definitely is not easy and I'm a hard one to convince, but it works, it really does!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: luv2dance99,

Hello again, I am doing okay, but I'm taking some other steps to get better-- my ocd has been a real challenge for me lately. I have actually sent the kit back after my 30-day trial because I found I wasn't using it enough to justify the cost. I suppose I'm not supposed to say that on this chat board It is a good program but I really just need to see a therapist so that I may talk it out. I like to think I'm on the mend!

Hey J-Love, I'm doing pretty well. I'm learning that when I change my thoughts I really do feel better. I'm not very good at it yet, but I'm learning! How are you feeling?

Hi luv2dance99, just wanted to check in with you... how are you doing?

I will! I told my husband to this morning, my belly looks really cute in this shirt! Is it normal to have a crabby, miserable day out of nowhere when you're pregnant? I had two great days and yesterday I was miserable. I should add that I had a terrible backache all day too!

I think I only have 2 pictures of me pregnant. Now I wish I had lots more. Take the pictures. You will be happy you did.
(I liked Chris last year too. He was robbed)

Great idea! I haven't been so good about the pics b/c I felt so terrible!!! So far this week I have had two really good days. I'm trying to take a different perspective on work. I'm looking at it like it is going to help me get through the next 3 months more quickly and it will be a good distraction. I have had a much easier time getting into it yesterday and today. I think having a week off with nothing to do but think made me realize how good work actually is for me!

As for Chris - I was crazed! I made my husband take me to the Idol concert! I knew he'd make it big! So far this year I am not so into anyone.

How are you feeling? Are you on week 2 yet?Keep in touch!

I am glad to hear you had a good day!! And BTW, Chris should have totally won American Idol last year, it's a conspiracy !!

I think you are making the right decision by working as long as you can! I stopped 3 weeks before my due date and even then I had nothing but time on my hands. Keep plugging along and push yourself through, you will do great! You will have more than enough time at home once the baby arrives, trust me! Enjoy being pregnant and take lots of pictures of yourself... you will be back to normal soon enough and wish you had more pregnant pictures! You could even make a pregnancy scrapbook for your daughter with your pictures, ultrasounds, and other keepsakes!

thanks so much - it really helps to hear other peoples' stories! i had a good day today so i'm on a high!!!

If it helps at all, EVERYONE is nervous when they are preggers. I know, you know that, but you have that extra anxiety to deal with.

I was so miserable with all 3 of my pregnancies. Then, when I had the babies, I was so happy. The first is always the scariest.

The first month with my new babies was the most wonderful times of my life. You'll see. It'll all be worth it. Mine are now 20, 18 and 16. Now I'm feeling worse, cause they don't need me so much.
I loved it when all my kids were small. Babies are so wonderful. I had a purpose.

The first time, after you get home, and your baby falls asleep in your arms, and you know you should put him or her in her bed, but just can't cause you can't stop looking and holding him or her.

Someone said that they didn't mind getting up at night for the baby because it gave her another chance to hold her.
You don't have long to go to enjoy it all.

Try to think of how amazing your little one will be. Oh, It's so wonderful! try to conectrate on that, and all the wonderful things you have ahead of you to experience.

Watching YOUR child grow and learn and knowing you are helping him or her along to be a good person in this crazy world is so rewarding.

If I were you, I'd listen to the relaxation tape as often as possible. (I listened to it while doing the dishes the other day, and it made me so relaxed, just listening to the music and Lucinda's soothing voice made my most hated chore no big deal, with no anxiety - you don't have to go lay down and turn off all the phones to get something out of it).

If you get those channels on tv that have music, put on "Soundscapes" and leave it on low all day. It's so relaxing.

Try to relax. Soon you'll have what you've wanted for years!

J-Love,
I teach 6th grade. I absolutely love it when I'm myself. The kids are so great, they just light me up! We have so much fun chatting about stuff like American Idol! I had them all voting for Chris last year!!! I think I will really just dive into work and focus on staying there as long as I can. I made the mistake of thinking like - I only have 8 weeks of work left.....- the countdown philosophy is not a good idea! You're right, though, if I stay home too long it will be like "now what?". I can not stay at home for good after the baby is born b/c it's just too expensive to live here on one salary. I will return to work in September, which is another source of anxiety for me. I think I spend too much time looking into the future and stressing out about it.

Nannying sounds like fun and you got so much experience with kids! Are you still doing it? My husband and I visited Scottsdale, AZ last year and we loved it there. We swore we would retire there someday. What a neat city! I'm glad you're doing better with the Effexor. I had a friend who had very good results with it. I didn't do too well with Zoloft either. Before I tried Celexa years ago I tried Zoloft. It made me more anxious and more racy than normal! I agree that meds don't solve everything, but I have found they equal you out enough that you can do some good work in therapy and feel pretty good. I just hate it b/c I always gain some weight on the Celexa. I can be OCD too and I'm sure as a mommy it will only get worse! Celebrate your strides, even the smallest of them! I started a journal for myself of all of my successes. Great talking with you! Talk soon !

Hi, me again See, you are a teacher, so you are a nurturer, and of course you will be a great mommy! I studied to be a teacher too, I was a year away from my degree, and I moved out of state, after meeting my husband in AZ, where the teaching program was entirely different and I would have had to basically start over! What do you teach? I was studying to be an elementary teacher. I changed to nannying instead which I found equally rewarding! I think you should stick with working as long as you can. I know you can do it and it does take an extra push on your part, but you will definately benefit from keeping yourself busy with work. If you stay home, it will be a big "now what??"... Are you going to be a stay-at-home mom or are you just taking maternity leave? Don't worry about someone finding you out, believe me, people are very understanding with hormonal pregnant women And more people deal with these things than you know, once you share your vulnerability, people literally come out of the woodwork with "me too's"... it is amazing.

I am doing better here, slowly but surely. I think that the Zoloft that I was on was having the opposite effect it was supposed to because I hit some awful lows when I was on that, and I got worse and worse with each higher dose. I'm on Effexor now, which helps both serotonin and norepinepherine, so I guess that must be the key for me. Good thing you already know what will work for you. My view on medication is that it does not solve everything, but if it is a tool to make your life progress more smoothly, by all means, take advantage of it! I am also trying this program, and trying to grow in my faith too. I think the more angles from which you may attack the problem, the better you may resolve it. And you will resolve it!

I still have anxiety, but it is mostly health anxiety, and I can feel a lot of OCD kinds of things, especially with the baby... think I'm washing my hands like a mad-woman, thank God for lotion! I have made some big strides though, so things are definately looking up!

Well, keep in touch, I think it is beneficial for both of us!

J-Love - Your words truly help so much. It's funny b/c you sound so much like me! Thank you for taking th etime to write! For the past two days I have really tried to focus on each moment and force the negative thoughts out of my head like they are an unwelcome guest. I have forced myself to exercise. It seems to be helping. I am feeling more confident in my ability to handle this and I am actually enjoying myself a little. Last night we had dinner with my in-laws. My mother-in-law really has no idea about much of what's been going on with me but she made the comment to my husband that I seem so much happier! Even if the next 3 days are bad days, it's comforting to know that I did (and can) get my old self back for periods of time without the help of medication. As far as work goes, I'm not sure what to do. What was your work situation while you were pregnant? I'm a teacher and can probably get a note to go out when I'm ready to. Problem is that, as much as I don't want to go to work (especially in the past few weeks), I think it is good for me b/c it keeps me busy and somewhat occupies my mind. Time goes by so slowly when I'm home alone and I am very bad at keeping myself busy and all of those scary-negative thoughts roll in. We've had off this past week and I practiced keeping myself busy. I did better by the end of the week. When I'm not feeling well, I dread work (even though it is good for me to go) b/c I'm terrified that someone will "find out about me". I am so worried about what everyone thinks and I would be horrified if anyone knew any of this about me. I am so worried they'll see I haven't been myself and may question if I can do my job, etc. When I feel good, I absolutely love my job. It's such a catch-22. I guess it's good to just keep pushing myself and learn not to care so much what others think.

How are you doing? Tell me, how have you coped with the post-partum? What have you found to be the most helpful for you? I just read Brooke Shield's book, "Down Came the Rain". It was very good. It's comforting to see others in your situation and rise above! I find writing my feelings out really helps!