I feel like escaping from my self is harder than escaping from alcatraz. Any one relate?
I think the worst part of my anxiety depression problem is self centerdness at it's root. Example. I can be in a room where there is a important person teaching or gving a sermon. But all i can think about is what people might do or say to me. or what people might think of me. Or so on an so on. Self is miserable place to be. Very lonely being the only one I listen too. And i usually don't have much nice to say about myself which makes things worse. ugh. I pray this program will start recovery from this dead end. Prayers with you all.

I just wish that me older brother was back here because maybe then my husband would want to do things with me. Since my older has been dead, I guess I have turned in to a complaning Bitch and I don't know what to do. I got mu husband a movie that he was really wanted for easter, thinking that he would want to watch it with me. He told me at dinner that he was tired and wanted to lay down with me and watch it and then he went over to his friends house and they all watched it and I felt like I was left in the dirt and I spend a long time deciding what to do and all I could think of was just not to talk to him because I just hurt because he did not think about my feeling he just wanted to watch his movie and it did not matter that the person that bought it for his wanted to watch it with him. Then I asked him what time he was going to be home and he said 3am and I asked him whyso late and he told me because he said so. Then he came back and said that he was just kidding and I have learned that when ever someone says just kidding that they aren't. They just say that because they know that what thay said hurt the other person. I am not even going to begin the Attacking Anixety and Depressin again because I no support from any of his family or from any of my family. I guess that is complanning again, isn't it? Maybe I should just not say anything to anyone and everyone will be happy? I don't know but I really don't want to find out the answers either because I know all they are going to do is just add to my pain inside.

Hello Less Stress-Wes. I am glad to meet you. I hope to see you a lot on here.
Glen

Happy Easter to you all,
I hope you all have a Great Easter today. I'm glad to have people in here like you guys.
Thank you all for being here. I wrote down the chapter and verse of that scripture. That speaks loads to me about how I must live my life if I am to live successfully. Thank you.
Have a great day all and as always God Bless and daily prayers for all of my fellow anxiety depression family here.

Hey all and happy Easter!!! Sorry I've been away for a while. Good to see you're still being a friend to many people here Chris - glad to have you as a brother, bro Nice to meet you Glass - That's so cool that you have the same verse I can on my voicemail. I have a different version on my voicemail - "Know that a person's life is not his own. No one is able to plan his own course. So correct me Lord, but please be gentle. Do not correct me in anger" (Jer 10:23-24).

I can relate to this topic beckman Chris. I feel slef-imprisoned mostly when I'm feeling "spacey" due to the aftermath of anxious thinking, which could have happened in dreams, busy week at work, after much worry/concern, etc. It's hard to plan sometimes. But I do know that "what if" thinking just makes my anxiety a snowball going down a mountain. I too have been through a lot of trauma as a youth. But now at 28, I just need to realize I've come a long way and am doing darn well considering. I am an overcomer, and I feel I'm not the only one who is as I look upon other fine men and women here. As Aragorn says in LotR (Two Towers): "there is always hope" - let's not forget that as we celebrate Jesus tomorrow! God bless you all.

Nathanels Mommy.
You hang in there. We love you and want to see things go well for you. Listen to Beckman, he is fighting the good fight.
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a debate that goes on inside people. He said "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benovolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: Which wolf wins?
The old Cherokee simply replied, "the one you feed".
Don't feed yourself any more crystle. Feed yourself this program. You will win your battle with it.
Glen

Hi ya nathaniels mom, And glad to be back in here. I haven't been on in a week now and was missing it. Started a new job that is throwing me out of my routine and taking more of my time. I sure missed you all. truly.
I sure here you tabbetha, I don't know how many times while struggling in life, depression, addictions,(meth) alcohol, gambling, I would search for help or someone would be there to say God is the answer. I find myself offering the same hope to people now. I understand little of how He works in my life today, and we need not understand but just be willing to beleive that he can, has, and is. That is all that is required to begin to grow spriritaully.
I beleive God directed me here to this anxiety program and I beleive HE brought you here too. And I'm so glad He did. I'm also a catholic and have been just this last two months since I started this program going to church again. I was going as much as 6-7 masses a week. I still go as much as I can. I hope you continue to press forward on your classes to become part of also. I'm just a anxiety, depression filled drugaddict,alcoholic, and gambler on my own. But with you people here and this program and a growing spirtual life(that is painful and confusing sometimes) I am truly changing. And I know you are already on the path too. God bless and daily prayers to you!!
chris

Open Your Eyes Little One...

Telling the tales of stories and fabels
Praying that you wont become Nobel
We are all hopefull
For your safe return to us.

Open your eyes little one
Let us see them glow
Show your love little one
For all the world to know

Doctors and nurses all alike
Tell us the odds that they know
But we see the soul with~in
Wanting to with~hold
Life.

Squezze your fingers
Move your toes,
Press your lips together
As if to make a kiss

We'll stand around your bedside
Family and all
To catch you if you should fall

So listen our love
To all that we say
Hold on to our voice little one
Follow it safe

Don't follow the light
For we will have to be brave
When all we have left is a grave
So, my dear love
Please don't be brave

Open your eyes little one
Let us see them glow
Show your love little one
For all the world to know

I am not so sure about God and all the things that he represents right now. I know how said that must sound but I just don't want to believe in something that I can see maybe. I don't know, I am a converting Cathloic and my husband is my sponcer and he does not really seem like he wants to sponncer me because he does not want to have to sit the the RICA classes and everything. I was convirting because I thought that is what he wanted me to do and now I am not so sure....I was in the hospital on Sunday night:monday morrning. I was told that I was over stressed and dehidrated. And at that moment all I wanted to do was some crystal to get the pain to stop and then bury myself in bed under hundreds of blankets and never come out.

Tabbetha
We love you, We love you.
My heart goes out to you. God loves you, He led you here for your healing. My prayers are always with you. God loves you, You are His special child. This program is here for you. He led you here. Your answers are here. We love you.
Glen

I do have Nathaniel, and I know that I need to be here to take care of him but it is so hard to want to be here for the right reasons. I dread the horrors of sleep and all the things that is shows you from your past. The things that we as hurt people have to relive, just because someone else wanted to hurt us. I have not even finished lesson one yet and I dont know how to coninitue with the program because I hurt so much inside

Nathanielsmommy...re: your post March 30th...but what a bout Nathaniel? You have a hole in your soul and it needs repair so you can be whole for Nathaniel.

what are you afraid to work out? What is your relationship with your mother at this time. You go to sleep dreading what?

Maybe you can't fix what happened in your past and we certainly can't change our parents or how they treated us as children...however, we CAN change how we let those things affect us. Have you gotten to lesson 4 yet? what what your score on the attitude inventory?

I care, C.

I can relate so well. I did feel like such a door mat.
This program is helping so much. I now realise that some people who try to make me look foolish or unimportant have a problem thereself.
I know what is behind there thinking now. They step on you to lift thereself up. They must feel foolish thereself to keep doing those things. I just stay away from them now when I don't want to tolerate them. I don't like being treated that way. I find myself being assertive with them now when I am around them. I don't care what they think. I have a brand new life now.
I keep stududying the movie and cd book The Secret and relating it to the bible. This also is helping me soooooo much. I believe it and have seen the workings of it a lot in my life. I am doing a lot better staying on a positive wavelength now. I am so much happier now.
I also am doing another program that is helping a lot. The Sedona Method. Your key to lasting happyiness, success, peace and emotional well-being.
Accually sence I have started this M.W.C. program one thing has just led to another with all of this new to me knowledge.
I used to think all the time that I can't run from myself no more than I can run from my own shadow.
I am so overwhelmed with so much good stuff now to keep looking into and studying. There just seems to be no end to it. One thing keeps leading to another and it just keeps getting better. My wife sees a big differance in me and she is really into The Secret information now. We are both so happy with our lives now.
There is no way that I want to run from myself anymore. I have found the right wavelength to be on is all. I was on the wrong wavelength. I don't listen to the same music, watch the same movies or even go around the same people now if I can avoid them. My step father is so negative. He is like a black cloud who will suck the joy right out of me if or IF I LET him.
I don't let him anymore. I couln't even visit my mother in the past without him right there to guard her, but now I think positive on my way to see her and half the time he isn't even there, and when he is he has to go do somthing and I get to talk to ma alone. How about that. Negetive can't stand to be around positive. Positive will shoo it off like shooing off buzzards. There is power in The Secret. Knowledg is power.
I am not bragging or making this up. I know this can happen to you all to. We are all so much alike. We are good people in a rough unkind to us world, We can find the right wavelength to be on. I have and want to share that with you all. I hope that you look into this all, but I advise you always believe in God and except Jesus Christ as savior, and keep the commandments. Good things will come to you. Have gratitude, These things will happen.
I Love You All
Glen

Hi Nanthaneils Mom,
I am sure some of us can relate. I know I can,
I am a recoverying alcoholic, compulsive gambler, and drug addict. The last two years of my addictions I felt no reason to live or try to get out of the way I was living and thinking. I literally was just waiting and praying for death. I don't know what changed in me to give me the desire to try again,but I beleive it was from alot of prayers from people who cared about me and wouldn't give up on me even though i gave up on myself long ago.
So know that I and i'm sure others do care about you!! And you get a daily prayer from me just being on this anxiety program support line so hang in there and say some prayers, I KNOW he picks us up when we are down. god bless you daily prayers for you.
chris

I feel like there is nothing that I can do about what I feel inside.It is like there is nothing that can change this and I should not fight it because all I am going to do is make it worse. I have felt the way that I feel since I was 4 1/2 years old. I remember because that is when I knew that my mother really did not love me and only wanted me because the govenment would give her money. I am not sure how I felt about it then, but I do know that I still feel like I was a mistake. I have not gone anywhere special in my life and worked things about because I am afraid to. I know that sound crazy but I just cant help it. I also know that I am foolish for trying to fix what can't be fixed. I go to sleep dreading it and I wake up dreading the day ahead.