I'm just wondering if there is anybody else who battled infertility and panic disorder at the same time?

I have been trying to conceive my first baby. I have been pregnant 4x, but lost each baby. The last one was in January, a little girl. Her heart stopped beating.

I am now being told that in-vitro is the best way to go, due to my recurrent loss problem that may be an issue with my eggs. I am currently still on klonopin, but stopped my zoloft. I am supposed to start Celexa {took it for 2 days, felt bad, stopped, now I'm being told to start again}

I know that when I was pregnant, I felt pretty good. Hardly any panic. However, I am now having the WORST panic ever in my life. In-vitro is demanding financially, mentally, and physically. I'm not sure if I can handle it without something to help me along.

Anyone ever been in a similar situation?

Thanks

Hi Rowan- I did deal with infertility along time ago and had anxiety disorder. Not a good combo. That was 15 years ago though. We ended up adopting. We have two beuatiful children. Both we adopted as newborns. Meet the birthfamilies before the babies were born. Our daughter is 13 and son 10 now. I still remember how tough it all was so I sympathize with you. No answers for you but wanted you to know you are not alone.

Hi Rowan, I sympathize with what you're going thru...I/we too had gone on the emotional roller coaster of trying to conceive. Thanks to my very supportive/encouraging husband, along with an infertility specialist and artificial insemination, we now have beautiful twins! Keep the faith! I thank God every day for these beautiful gifts! I was struggling with anxiety/panic attacks for some years prior to their birth, guess I figured some ways to "take the edge off" but have had some reoccurrences and ordered this program...not only for myself, but also for our kids. I'm hoping after I learn the skills to think more positively and correct my thought/reaction processes that the kids will benefit as well and not go down this path in their lives!
Another lesson learned thru all of this...while we don't always understand, God always has the best plan for our lives...learning to let go and let God do His work always works! Keep the faith and believe that when the time is right, the wishes of your heart will be brought to you! Best wishes!

Thank you so much ladies! I just feel as if I will never get rid of this panic disorder, and I fear going through in-vitro and all the injections and surgery, etc., and stopping in the middle because I'm having panic attacks.

I also question my mothering skills sometimes, wondering if I will be able to be a good mom while having panic disorder because frankly, it makes me feel insane.

I have to take the subway to get to the injections class tomorrow, and I have no idea how I am going to handle taking the subway.

Hi Rowan! I hope you read this before your appointment today...I respectfully ask you to do me a favor. Please re-read your last post, from the point of view that your best friend wrote it. What advise would you give her?! Please TRY to turn each negative around to a positive comment. You may have moments of feeling anxious...just the process itself is somewhat emotion provoking, not to mention the history that you've experienced that has you at this point of assistance...who in their right mind wouldn't feel at least a little uneasy?!! As for going on the subway to your appointment; a phrase that has helped me, "fake it til you make it!" While it may feel strange/phony at first, after a bit you'll realize that you "faking" the way you WANT to feel is really HOW you end up feeling! Lastly, ask any mother anywhere if at some point in time they ever questioned their mothering skills!!! Unfortunately, this somehow comes with the territory...even the best mothers at some time or another have questioned their abilities!
I'll be thinking of you and wishing you all the best...hold your head high and know that God holds you in the palm of his hand! Look forward to hearing about your day!

Thanks so much for the encouragement guys!

I did make it to my appointment, although I had to take klonopin in order to deal with the subway at rush hour. There is a lot to do with IVF, it involves many needles and minor surgery, etc. I'm not so afraid of the process; it's all the other things I mentioned.

The day of the appointment I actually had an enormous panic attack at Madison Square Garden and also on the subway ride back. Today wasn't any better at the dentist for part 2 of my root canal.

I just hope I'm able to understand..and believe..that I can be a good mother, even with this disorder.

HI Rowan,
I am on Cipramil and also take Klonopin occasionally. I have majorly bad panic disorder and just went through IVF. I"m a few days after the embryo transfer. It's really difficult...
However - thank god I have children already and I am a great mother to them- despite my phobias and panic.
Best of luck to you (and to me as well!)
Love mumpy

Gosh, I dealt with infertility for years, and the injections and hormone therapy made me simply a nervous wreck,,, much sympathy your way, it won't last forever & think you'll have a lovely baby (and be a wonderful mum : ) at the end of it! Hang in there!!!

So glad I found this forum. I have panic disorder and just recently ..it is at its worst. We are also dealing with infertility. We have Male factor infertility but I do think my body being in "constant" stress is not helping at all. I get the anxiety where my stomach feels like it is burning and then feel extremely weak . My adreneline pumps so hard it feels like I ran a marathon.

The doctor gave me effexor but scared to take it as I felt horrible on it plus TTC not sure what to do?


I guess I feel all my treatments will be a failure(and they have) until I can get my body not in constsant stress. Any suggestions to help? Has anyone got pregnant with constsant panic? I read somewhere that it can be harder to fertilize or implant an egg if stressed?

I love the idea ...fake it untill you make it!!

I have been unsafe for 6 years and havn't gotten pregnant yet.. We don't know what the problem is and havn't gotten many tests yet. When i was younger i always wanted kids young and now that i turned 30 I am terrified of having kids because i think way to much and wonder if i would be a good mom and every other thing that can go wrong. I know we are going to have tests done and i want kids but the anxiey is scaring me out of it. The fact that we have to go do all these tests makes it way harder than someone who is able to say "oh I'm pregant" yippy.So it's normal to feel stressed just accept it and think of how great it will be when you have a cute little munchkin in the end. Good luck. Take it day by day.

Wow. I'm sad to say that I'm actually glad to see I am not the only one dealing with both of these things at the same time. It truly is awful.

I spoke w/ my reproductive doc {RE} about the panic and she told me to go back on the Zoloft for now, and to also stay on the klonopin while doing IVF. She feels it would be better in the long run. She told me as long as I got off the meds before the 8th week, everything should be fine. I just started the Zoloft again 3 days ago, I did very well on it the last time I took it, so I'm hoping to see the same results.

The panic attacks have still been at an all time high though. It's now ruling my life. I am going to a new therapist tomorrow, hoping she can help me before I lose myself completely.

Thanks for all your input!

Hi Rowan,

This is a topic that hits home. Last summer I took Clomid in hopes to get pregnant. I fought with my body to get off the Klonopin since my doctor would not give me the Clomid until I was off it. I went thru horrible withdrawls from the Klonopin and after two months, had to stop the clomid since I was a complete mess. I found another doctor in the meantime and he has been a blessing. he put me on Celexa and I have hardly had any attacks. I went back on the Clomid, but no such luck. I am so aggravated. Nobody seems to understand why I am not getting pregnant. I have tried for years. I use to tell myself that the reason I was not getting pregnant is because I would be a horrible mother. I thought it would make not getting pregnant easier to accept....WRONG. All I did was feed into my anxiety. I know I would be a great mother and I can tell you will also. Don't let this disorder take over your life. Do the IV and have that beautiful bundle of love you so desire. That is suppose to be my next step also, but the cost of it is preventing me from being able to try. If you can do it....GO FOR IT!!!!

This is a great post because I am sure so many people are dealing with anxity/panic disorder and infertility. Double whammy!

As for me I am thinking about going back on an anti depressant. I am worried because with trying to conceive the last time I was on meds they raised my prolactin level. A hormone that is vital for ovulation. If it is too high it can stop ovulation which happened in my case.

I did not know that some anti depressants can raise your prolactin level. I am currently on a med which has lowered it and ovulation is now happening.

So Along with MANY other concerns of starting an anti depressant I am worried because we are currently TTC with no sucess yet.

For those who are TTC..and on anti depressants do you all get your hormones checked regularly?

Harlow,

Thanks for the insight. I did not know this about some anti-depressants. I now am on Celexa and will have to investigate if that will prohibit ovulation. My hormones have been checked, but I swear they are off. I have been getting bad hot flashes at the age of 37 for quite some time now. All docs don't have an answer why but they do state it is not early menopause....UGH! Anyways...thanks a lot for the info!

Hi Rowan. I usually just "lurk" on these forums but I had to reply when I saw your post. I suffer from panic disorder and went through IVF last year. I now have a 4.5 month old baby girl. I had the exact same concerns you are having. About coping with the procedures, the finances, and what kind of mother would I be when i feel so out of control when I have panic. I have to tell you that I went through my entire pregnancy med-free and feeling pretty good(aside from morning sickness). I had anxiety now and then, but I only had major panic attacks around 2 months before I was due. I think I was overly nervous about delivery and having a newborn, etc. I went on Lexapro(which I had taken in the past) after delivery and still take it now. It has always helped mye greatly, and while I still get attacks, they mostly occur when I am home alone; my husband travels for business wuite a bit. I am so bucy taking care of the little one that its almost like I dont have time to panic. I know that sounds weird, but I bet you'll be the same way. Please dont doubt your ability to be a good parent. Even with my attacks, I knwo that I am a wonderful mother to my little girl and there's nothign I wouldt do for her. She'a almost made me stronger, where I ward off panic when I fel it looking because i know I need ot be there for her. I guarantee after going through IVF you will come out 100x stronger than you were before. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk or have any questions about IVF or anything...I have to run-I have a screaming little one calling me...Take care, Ali