This isnt a true anxiety issue but it so adds to my stress which in turn make my anxiety problems worse.

Every stinkin morning I wake up and my son is up CRACK OF DAWN. I dont mind if he wants to be up but we have had this discussion, screaming match, spankings about not disturbing the other child who is a real pill if she is woke up! EVERY morning he does it and it just makes me so livid...that means that my daughter is going to be in a terrible mood and crying and carrying on and whining most of the morning and its so irritating.

Along with the normal battles of the morning of constantly telling them to eat breakfast, cuz they goof around and get dressed cuz again goofing around.

I have tried punishment, taking away toys, yelling, spanking and I cant get them to respond to me. Especially my son. he is 7 and he is a good boy but he just doenst understand consequence and doesnt seem phased by the situation.

I cant keep starting my mornings out so crappy....I am yelling, I am sick, I am tired, I am wanting to run from this house screaming and never come back....and then the guilt sets in cuz I know I have two adorable healthy children and I get so mad at myself for being so short tempered...but EVERYDAY!
Please advise is welcome although I caution you I am so not in the mood for a negative session on what I am doing wrong...I need some positive feedback on what I can do to improve this!
Thanks

Some kids are naturally early risers, I have one. Do you have a game deck, like PlayStation, or something that he can be allowed to do quietly in the mornings until everyone else gets up? Like watching a cartoon or playing a game work really well to occupy them. I know that most parents think that doing those things that early in the day aren't right, but what is worse, letting him play or putting up with your daughter being grouchy. It is unlikely that you will change his sleeping pattern, because it is like an internal clock, but you can find creative ways for him to keep himself busy.

Good Luck!!

Chrystal

Can you guys use this time to quietly read books together, play a game or color? If he is seven, then he knows what he is doing......perhaps the choice of "you can either quietly do something here in the house, or get your coat on and go stand outside the backdoor." I'm assuming you are up too? Then just watch him while you sip your cup of decaf coffee or tea. Since he's up so early it's cold, dark and unpleasant outside at that time for a kid. It might work as it works for me when the kids are whinning. It might be that he is just wanting time with you and isn't sure how to ask for it. Does this all take place before school starts?

Thank you I will try these things out...but I have to say my son has Downs although an extremely mild form and he is able to be in regular classes and has no medical issues I do sometimes think that it does take him much longer to grasp a concept...I dont like to tell people only because I dont like his condition to define me as I am with my anxiety....but I think its fair to say here because I dont know that he understands the consequence to his actions as well as some other children might.

I realize after hes off to school and I get a moments peace how lucky I am to have him and how well he is doing....and then there comes the guilt train....but seeing my own words here I realize that what I need to do is bear through the early morning and know that my respite is on its way after the bus leaves.....and take the morning with better stride. Silly how we just miss the obvious sometimes.....course I can think now cuz its queit....my little girl is very content to do her business and give me some time in the morning so I need to focus on the big picture here and not the 2-3 hours in the early morning.

Thank you so much for your comments....I do appreciate any good info I can get...and farmchick I will definately try the back door thing....I think it could make a huge impact on him! GREAT IDEA!
thanks
Annette
aka dodger

I have two boys ages 7 and 12 and they can wake up an utter mess in the mornings lol. And being that I am not much of a morning person myself it can get chaotic sometimes. But what I have learned is that more frustrated I become they feed off of that. Kids know when they are pushing your buttons. What I started doing was getting up about 45 minutes before they did and getting in a little workout and my coffee and stuff so that I could be "armed for duty" lol. That made the morning easier to deal with and I found myself more calm and in return my kids were more calm. Also what helped me alot was getting their things ready the night before from socks to whatever they were putting on in the morning. Hope this helps you some to. TC

My son is autistic and also has always been a crack of dawn riser. What I did was from an early age, I made sure he had easy access to books and videos and he always understood that when he got up in the morning, he was to read quietly or start a video to watch until everyone else got up. Since your son is seven, it may take some time for him to learn that this is what he needs to do. I don't think that disciplining him or making him stand outside in the cold are good ideas. He needs positive redirection and he needs patience. Is there any way he can climb into bed with you in the morning where he can be with you and quietly read or watch a video while you get some more sleep? That worked for us while I was pregnant with my second son and needed some extra sleep.

Have some things ready from the night before that will keep him entertained when he wakes. Show him where they are and explain that when he wakes up he can go and play with those things. Also have some food prepared for him in the refrigerator - something he can nibble on until breakfast. He's 7. If he knows where the food is, he can get it by himself.

Then reward him every time he stays quiet in the morning and doesn't wake anybody up.

At the same time, find a way to take control of your anxiety so that your mornings aren't so difficult.

But please, don't spank a child just because you have issues that you can't handle in the mornings, especially a child with down's. It's not his fault that you have anxiety and he shouldn't be punished for it.

First and foremost, congratulate yourself for reaching out for support. It is not and easy thing to do. I'm glad you realize there is not an easy, quick fix for your situation. You are experiencing what many parents deal with; however, your challenge is compounded by your son's challenge with understanding cause and effect. You have been given a variety of suggestions--some may work for you, others may not. Sometimes we allow ourselves to get frustrated by a situation because we don't know what to do. Our children sense that frustion and respond to it in a very primative way because they haven't developed the life skills that we have as adults. I have found that knowledge and education are key to bringing about change. If time, and your lifestyle permit, you may want to gain as much knowledge and understanding as you can about your son's needs and what has been helpful to others in your situation. I am a teacher and a parent. I have worked with special needs students in many settings. One book that I have read and found to be very helpful is Parenting with Love and Logic. Depending on the level of involvement with your son's disability, you may want to read "Love and Logic Solutions for Kids with Special Needs" by David Funk. If you are interested, I would be more than happy to suggest other books as well. Forgive me for the lengthly response, and thank you for taking the time to read it. Best wishes for a successful outcome. Lastly--remember to make time for yourself to relax and enjoy a few private momements!

Dodger, I can so relate to you and all the other moms here. I feel like I'm going crazy most of the time with my children. I know it's not "their fault" but I can help but feel the way I do most of the time. I have a seven year old girl that loves to get the best of me. She is a very whinny girl and that drives me up the wall!!! And she knows it! I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling like a bad mother, my husband always tells me I'm not but I have a hard time believing it for myself.

Take care!

Hello everyone, and Dodger, ((((())))))

You need more than a good hug!! You sound as though you could use a big VACATION! Wouldn't that be great!? I am being totally serious....I have two boys, one just turned 12 and the other is about to become 9! I am surprised I am still here this long! I am an old Mommy or I am sure I would've given up by now. I realized that God gave me these two, and these are the only two I am allowed! Of course I LOVE them, and of course I would not even think of trading them for any other! I would gladly step into any danger before I'd let anything happen to them. All these things do not mean I am a good Mother.
The fact that they drive me CRAZY doesn't mean that they are really bad boys either. We all have our moments in time. There is a season for everything....just remind me of that when I am on a rampage.... :-).
oh, here, somone said "she pushes my buttons" when speaking of their daughter....well boys do that also! Both my boys have me figured, and have since very early! They know how to manipulate me! They have interupted me three or four times while I am writing this! I have had to chase my eight year old back to his bed three times. I know all this, and still do not know how to handle them. I do not want them to remember their Mom as a "raging maniac"....who chased and screamed....nor would I want them to ever know daily physical abuse...as I did. I am trying to get control of myself...and perhaps they will "feel" the difference!? I may respond entirely different to each "episode", then they would have to change tactics, right??
Here I wanted to come here and offer support.....sounds like I need it myself, eh?? LOL..... We are lucky to have each other, and that goes for us all! If nothing else, its very theraputic to put things to print isnt it?
Maybe making a diary or journal will help us see where some small changes can make big results? Around here one of the guys will probably find mine! (There is zero privacy).
I have rattled on enough for now. Thanks for a moment.

Instead of using different punishments you could try to remain consistent. I actually do not have children (I am only 22) but am a gymnastics coach of 3-4 year olds. We find having a naughty step and making them spend just 8 minutes on it really works. if they get up from the step just KEEP putting them back there until they get the message. Sometimes this can take 30-40 attempts to get them to sit there and stay there. It's worth it tho, they REALLY do not want to go on the naughty step so do behave better.
Furthermore after they have done their time on the step, ask them why THEY think you put them there. Get them to apoligise, give them a hug, and as you're their parent tell them you love them.
It works a charm!! I hope this helps, I know how irritating kids can be for just a few hours, so you are doing a sterling job with them 24/7!!
God bless, and good luck!!
Hannah

Not saying this would be easy, BUT, have you thought of letting son stay up just 1/2 hour later, then YOU get up BEFORE him? Even if it is just 1/2 before him, then YOU wake HIM up, gently, and you've already made your coffee or whatever, and you & he have toast together or have a "Good morning hug" or something like that, and you smile saying "Shhh, we can't wake up sister, this is OUR time." ...just an idea...
Also, praise usually works wonders... there's a saying "If MOMMA ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!" (P.S. My kids are 26,25 & 14 and my grandsons are 2 & 4).