I'm so sorry if as a parent you see your child suffer at the hands of school bullies. Or perhaps you don't know of it but know your child does not want to go to school or suffers with headaches. Could it be that? This is a partial quote I read in the Awake magazine.

School Bullies
"Thousands and thousands" of students are in fear of going to school, declares a study by Norwegian psychologist Dan Olweus. Based on figures from the study, The Globe and Mail of Toronto, Canada, estimates that there could be 45,000 Canadian students victimized by 35,000 bullying classmates. According to the newspaper, Olweus said that "60 per cent of these schoolyard bullies will have at least one formal conviction by the age of 24." In an interview, Olweus stated that "often parents don't know what's going on and schoolteachers do little to interfere." Some of the terrorized pupils are said to "develop somatic symptoms such as headaches and stomach pains to cope with the stress." The Scandinavian study has prompted the development of intervention programs involving parents, teachers, and students.

I'm a sixth grade teacher, and I have seen a couple of bullies in my eight years of teaching.
The bullying I've seen is more verbal abuse than physical, but it's just as damaging. If you suspect your child is being bullied, I strongly suggest you discuss it with your child's teacher and school principal. If it doesn't stop, continue up the ladder. And don't be afraid to talk to the school system, even if you just suspect something's going on.

Hi:
When I was in sixth grade (at the end of the school year) my group of friends, who had been my friends all through elementary school, decided all of a sudden that they wanted to "dump" me. They made up lies about why I shouldn't be in their group anymore. They were just bored and looking for something fun to do and to show their power. I didn't tell anyone what was happening but my mom could tell that something was really wrong. So I finally told her. Without me knowing it, she talked to my sixth grade teacher who then talked to the principal of the school. The principal of the school called the girls into her office to talk to them about bullying. Boy did that just make things worse!!

I was mature enough at the time to understand that it had nothing to do with me personally because I was not the first one dumped from the group. Even though I understood this, I was still miserable. They made my life miserable all through seventh grade by following me around and not leaving me alone. I ignored them and when they tried to talk to me I pretended like they didn't exist because I did not feel like I needed to waste any time on people so obnoxious and I had no desire of getting back into their group.

Obviously there was nothing wrong with me, so I was starting to make friends several times, but everytime I did, my old group of friends told lies about me and told them I was a tattle tale (because the teacher and principal knew about what happened from my mom telling them). Eventually they left me alone because they weren't getting the reaction they wanted, but the bullying lasted a long time.

It is so hard to say which way is the best way to approach it. I guess for some, intervention from teachers and principals is helpful, but for me it only fueled the fire. I think what is important is to make your child (who is being bullied) understand that what the bullies are saying is wrong. Listen to your kids and don't tell them to just move on. In sixth grade and on, friends are your life. So parents need to understand that the issue is extremely troubling to a young person. Show sympathy, let them know the bullies are wrong, and tell them to not react in a way that eggs on the bullies. And if you are a parent who wants to intervene, talk it over with your child first to see if that is really what they want.

quote:

Originally posted by AnnieG:
[qb] I strongly suggest you discuss it with your child's teacher and school principal. If it doesn't stop, continue up the ladder. [/qb]

Thank you Annie for the excellant advice. My husband and I had to do just that for our daughter more than once.

Victoria

quote:

Originally posted by amethyst98:
[qb]Hi:
Boy did that just make things worse!!

So parents need to understand that the issue is extremely troubling to a young person. Show sympathy, let them know the bullies are wrong, and tell them to not react in a way that eggs on the bullies. And if you are a parent who wants to intervene, talk it over with your child first to see if that is really what they want. [/qb]

Hi Amethyst,
What happened to my daughter was bad to start.
Afterwards for my daughter "it made things worse" because the boys bullied her for telling us and it going to the principals office. Another time she was bullied for her weight, we talked to the teacher about it and she was the one, without reason, that was taken off the running race. In both instances the bullies were rewarded with either a gift or a privilege. In the first instance the teacher responded to us, "boys will be boys." At that meeting the mother of one of the bullied daid that when her husband heard we reported it, he didn't show up for that meeting because he said he would have beaten up my husband.

Too much for my daughter and she begged to leave school for home study. Today, she is a beautiful slim young proffessional woman much liked and respected.

We did the right thing as parents but to us it comes as no surprise. We have found that there are some very helpful teachers and principals and there are ones easily intimidated - as there is in any other organization, company, or the like.
"Man has dominated man to his injury." -- Ec. 8:9.

Thanks for sharing your experience and your sound advice.

Victoria

I just recently read an e-book about bullies.It had multipal choice answers for children to pick.
It gives an explanation on the right thing to do.
Bullying should be reported, because it will only get worse for the child.
Many times I've seen on TV were people see this going on and watch it take place but fail to tell someone.
Apparently they don't realize the(not only physical damage that could be happening,but the psychological damage taking place).

Victoria:
Unbelievable! That is so awful . Unfortunately what you described is more common than it should be. It really is sad. I'm glad your daughter was able to move on with her life. If kids were forced to deal with consequences for their behavior then this would happen a lot less. Unfortunately, our society since the '60s and '70s, just doesn't want to hold people responsible for their behavior. It really is sad, the direction our country is going. Thanks for bringing this topic up. It is an important one.

Shannon: I agree, when someone sees bullying taking place they should take action. This would get the child some help and would also save them from being called a tattle tale.

If you can believe it, I witnessed verbal bullying in college (I guess some people never grow up). Because of my experience with verbal bullying, I absolutely can't stand seeing someone else being put through it. So when I see bullying taking place (between adults) I do my best to make the person feel better. I let the victim know I am not buying into what the bully is saying because I know it means a lot for them to hear me say it. I also make my own opinion of someone and don't let others determine my opinion of someone. This is really important and I hope anyone reading this really thinks about it. DON'T ALWAYS BELIEVE WHAT YOU HEAR!! I see it happen way too many times.

There are times as adults, that we can't necessarily speak up to an adult verbal bully. But you can speak up to the victim and that means a whole lot. Because the thing that those of us who have been bullied fear most is whether people believe what the bullies are saying (I really wasn't too concerned what the bullies were saying to me, I was more concerned that others were just believing what they heard). If you let the victim know that you don't believe what the bully is saying then the bully looses his/her power and the words become meaning less.

Appreciated replies. Will get back when I'm moving back into my rooms where my computer is - construction work.

Victoira