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I certainly can relate to your anxiety with your kids. When my son, age 23 now, was small, I would sit at night with my hand on the back of his neck, making sure that he was breathing, or lay my finger lightly on his upper lip to feel the breath from his nose. His Dad, (my ex) would always tell me that I was being overly anxious. At that time, I had no idea that I had anxiety problems, I just thought I was being a careful mother. I really think it's better to be careful than not, and have something bad happen, but you have to let go of them, release them to whatever is meant for them to have in their lives. That is key, what we have been learning through the program. You can't hold on to other people so tightly.
I myself was diagnosed years back with being allergic to mold, so now every time we are in places that have possible mold, such as basements, I can feel my breathing getting tight and funny, even though there probably is nothing wrong. From all the reports that we have seen in the aftermath of the hurricane in Louisiana, the mold that is in those homes now is probably terrible. From the sound of your posting, you probably stirred up some mold in your remodel, the only thing I could think of is to have someone come out that might have a meter that can detect mold (I don't know if there is such a thing). They might be able to help you with air control, keeping it confined, and not in the general population of your home.

Hope that helps some, I know just writing about it probably helps to get it off your chest.

{gettinbettereveryday}
Thank you so much for your reply. When I read [you have to let go of them, release them to whatever is meant for them to have in thier lives] I started to cry and then sob. It was so much of what I think that I needed to hear and have been needing to hear for a long time. It is something that I think all of us parents know, yet hearing it today ....it just seems the right timing. I believe that alot of my stress comes from being overly protective of my childern. I am always WORRING. From small things such as my son always darting out into traffic, to not letting my daughter walk out onto the porch alone (what if someone were to take them). I live in this mind set everyday and it is exhusting! I have often wondered if given the chance to go back and do things differently if I would of had childern. I know that sounds like a crazy statement, but if I didn't know this kind of love then I wouldn't know this type of fear either. I wish I could just enjoy them and take lifes blows with ease. As for the mold, i am going to take your advice and have someone out. My son saw a allergist today who is checking for all types of allergies and has put him on two steriods with an inhaler for emergencies. I am a reck never the less in the mean time. I think I will try and focus on the thoughts that you offered up tonight and in the next few days untill my anxiety dies down. Thanks again..I really appreciate your input. Christine

Christine,

I can totally relate to the fear in your post. My son (six years old now) had that bad respiratory flu that was going around a couple years ago (the one that several kids died from... need I say more?). At one point it seemed like he was having trouble breathing, so I rushed him to the ER and they took x-rays and his lungs were fine. But, oh the anxiety I went through until he was over it! I was a total wreck.

Through the Attacking Anxiety program, I am learning to do with my son what I am doing with myself: take control of what I can, and leave the rest to God. I serve healthy meals and snacks and give him a multivitamin to ensure he is as healthy as possible. I have him wash his hands before meals to teach him the importance of good hygiene. I've taught him safety skills, like how to use the phone to call for help if necessary, watching for cars in streets and parking lots, being wary of stranger, etc. I give him opportunities to practice independence and make safe choices when I'm present, so he knows what to do when I'm not there. For his spiritual growth, I take him to CCD (Bible school for Catholics) every Sunday. Knowing that I am doing all I can to keep him healthy and safe, I am able to put his ultimate destiny in God's hands and let go of the obsessive worrying.

Being a Christian, I am able to take comfort in the fact that even if he was taken from me tomorrow, I would see him again in heaven; therefore, my loss would be temporary. Our lives on this earth are so brief compared to eternity. Whatever struggles and losses we endure are just temporary, and we will soon experience the peace of God for eternity. In the meantime, I intend to enjoy this life as much as possible and do what I can to spread joy and peace to others.

I used to think if I worried enough about something, it would prevent it from happening; or that if I DIDN'T worry, it meant I didn't care. I see now that neither is true. Worry itself does nothing but make us miserable and sick, and that's not fair to ourselves or our families. In fact, learning how to control our anxiety so we can be healthy and take care of our families is a gift to ourselves and them. Furthermore, it is God's will that we don't worry: "I have not given you a spirit of fear." Now, every time I have a negative thought and start "What-iffing" about my son, I replace it with a positive thought. I thank God every day for the time I have with my family here on earth and for the sacrifice He made so that we will be together for all of eternity. I pray for wisdom to make good choices and for my faith to remain strong. And then I hand over all my worries to Him.

Honestly, I do not know how some people can go through life without faith. For me, it is crucial to my peace of mind.

Wishing you God's peace...

Jen

{Jen}
Thank you so much for your reply. It has been very helpful to me. I too agree with your thinking in terms of God. I have always thought that my childern are here on loan from "God" untill thier learning experiences and mine our through. I know too that I can not control our destiny either. However it is the suffering of life (such as anxiety) that I just can't seem to let go of. When I have my down days or am overly stressed I always get comfort in knowing that this is all temporary. I just can't seem to apply that to my childern though. I REALLY try! The last couple of days and nights I have been a wreck wondering if he's getting enough air or if his cough is another sign of respitory distress. I just feel that the control is out of my hands and that is what make me feel helpless! When I ran my son into the ER, the place was packed! I went to the window and stated that my son wasn't breathing. She said she would be with me as soon as possible. Another few minutes passed and nothing! I went back and by this time I was panicky and she said I will call you in as soon as we have a chance. After about 5/6 minutes which seemed an eternity, they brought him in to make sure he was stable untill he could see a doctor. It was that situation and others like it that make you feel so helpless.

We too in our household got that flu the year before last. My daughter and son ran the fever for 10 days! My husband and myself ran a fever for 7 days right along with them. It was very scarry!

Just a little something else that I would like to share...When my daughter was 5 mo. old I had a virus with a fever that had ran 10 days. I was at the end of my rope. My husband and I had just brought my daughter in from the car late in the evening. My husband brought her straight to her crib and laid her down. He jumped into the shower. I was out on the front porch kinda in thought and prayer asking god to throw me a bone so to speak (and smoking). I was so totaly drained. Just then my daughter awoke crying in her crib. I looked in and saw what I THOUGHT was dad leaning over the crib. I came into the house and my husband was stepping out of the shower. He asked, "I knew she would wake up crying anytime, how did you get her back to sleep so quick?" TILL THIS DAY i STILL GET THE CHILLS! It wasn't me. It wasn't him.

Thanks again for your posts! Jen I really enjoyed your post re: the holidays. I got quite a few laughs from it. I am right there with you!

Take care, Christine

"As for the mold, i am going to take your advice and have someone out. My son saw a allergist today who is checking for all types of allergies and has put him on two steriods with an inhaler for emergencies."

There are some great resources regarding mold and allergies and treatment of such on http://www.knowthecause.com. I would check into their books and even call them. They are great people!