Hello All. This is my first time on here. My 16 year old son started suffering anxiety/panic attacks last year at high school. By the time we figured out what was going on, he had missed quite a bit of school. We got him through the end of the year with therapy and ordered this program. He went through about 1/2 of program and started school just fine until recently. His panic attacks started again, precipitated by one incident, a report in front of the class. Today he would not even get out of the car and go in. The school is great about working with us and I'm not concerned about that. I do wish there was someone out there in a similar situation whom he can talk to about this. I think that might help him. Please reply if you have any advice or can offer any support for him.

Also, I forgot to ask if anyone knows of a good psychiatrist/psychologist in the KC area who would be good for a teenager.

My first panic attack happened when I was 16, but unlike your son I didn't have supportive parents such as yourself. Mine progressed to the point where I was agoraphobic and anorexic. It must have been divine intervention which saved me because one day I was paging through the newpaper and saw an ad "PANIC ATTACKS? CALL...". I did call and it turned out to be a woman working on a college degree and needed a certain amount of hours of field training. I had no money to pay her (My mother had abandoned me to live with her drug addict abuser, my father long lone) but she needed me and I needed her. Turns out she turned to college after she suffered a miscarriage and subsequent panic attacks. She worked intensively with me both as a fellow sufferer and as a therapist, starting one-on-one and later when she got more patients, in a group setting. I recovered enough to go in the Army and later college. The underlying problems remained and I did not have the perspective of "I'm causing it, I can cure it, it's about practicing bad habits" perspective that this program opened me up to so the panic returned when I faced a medical problem. Now, I'm still recovering (probably always will be to a certain extent) but I am happy, not on medication, not suffering panic attacks, and a lot less anxious.

I think this program in combination with good one-on-one therapy for a time should go a long way to help your son. As far as how to find a good therapist? The internet, your physician, even your insurance company might help. Be there for your son, find the trigger (it might take time, some aren't sure at first especially when their mind is racing from adrenaline overload), and get him help even if it's not perfect at first. Some is better than none.

Good luck, he's not alone.

Hey i'm in my senior year of highschool, which is almost over but im still havin a hard time being in school. I started having really bad panic attacks when I was 16 and missed tons of school too. I've been in school this year more then the other 3 years where i had anxiety, so I guess thats a positive. My parents are supportive which is good, they try to do everything to help me, I kind of feel bad because I'm not doin that well with my anxiety right now. If your son ever wants to talk to someone, he can always message me or something, I know how hard it is to go through school with this....it sucks

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He went through about 1/2 of program and started school just fine until recently.

For some of us it takes going through the whole program a number of times before the new skills learned become more or less permanent. Old thought patterns and habits die hard, they don't give up easily. I would guess your son has reverted to his old way of trying to deal with anxiety and it's not working. I would advise him working the program for 6 mohths or more and not quit in mid stream. He probably got to feeling better and thought he didn't need the rest of the program. Wrong. Journaling his scary thoughts and seeking to restructure them or replace them with more compassionate, truthful thoughts, developing loving, compassionate self-talk, applying the six steps to overcoming anxiety/panic, and all the rest of the skills taught will help him develop healthy self-esteem which he presently does not posess.

I came down with panic attacks my first and only time at age 18, right out of high school. I was placed on meds and got better, but never really addressed my root problem [low self esteem and dependent on the opinions of others] until I hit 50 years old. I wish this program had been available and I had learned its skills when I was 18. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is what this program is based upon. There is substantial proof that it can help people with serious anxiety/panic/depression recover and live productive lives without being crippled forever. The links are below. When you are young you don't have the life experience to understand what is happening to you. I would advise getting him back into the program. A psychologist also may be of help. If he still can't concentrate on the skills, short-term meds may be appropriate.

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2002-05/uop-sct051702.php

http://www.clinicalanswers.nhs.uk/index.cfm?question=359

http://my.webmd.com/content/Article/23/1663_53120.htm

http://www.academyofct.org/Library/InfoManage/Guide.asp?FolderID=1126

Another suggestion is to obtain books and other resources on panic and how to deal with it. There is a lot of help and know how available that really works.

Hi -- I am a mom of a 14 yr old freshman who is going through some tough stuff and anxiety. She has only 2 weeks left of school and has missed the last 2 weeks, and I am panicked because I can't stop obsessing about how her entire freshman year and all of the work she has done so far (As and Bs) will be lost if she doesn't return to make up work and take her finals. I suffered panic attacks in my twenties and later and have recovered over the years but still was able to get through school and work.

I don't know how to help or support her anymore. She had been on Lexapro for 9 months and did not like the way it made her feel, so she tapered off and her Dr said she would have no withdrawal because she was on such a low dosage. Then everything fell apart--she had a rift with friends and then just stopped going to school, wouldn't get out of bed. After 4 weeks, her therapist finally got her to make a decision about trying another medication and she has now been on Cymbalta for 5 days. I haven't seen a lot of progress and she is mostly resistant to listening to the tapes because she thinks they can't help her and she hates "stupid breathing exercises" that don't work. I hate the idea of her being on the medication--it scares me--but I don't know what else to do.

Last week I found her a Cognitive therapist and yesterday she had her 1st appt. She made a plan to go back to school today but did not. Every day she gets up and says she is going to school but just can't do it.

I am at my wit's end and have given everything I have to give and am feeling so drained and frustrated that nothing I do seems to help at all and should I just let her fail? We are working with the counselors/teachers at school but they don't really understand and think I should be practicing tough love. As someone who lived with anxiety for years I don't even understand it myself. I am trying to be patient/supportive but worry about school and her dropping out. She is incredibly intelligent and now doesn't seem to care about just finishing out the year.

Am I being completely nuts about the school thing? Don't know why I can't just get past it and say, oh well, it doesn't really matter if she fails all of her classes. It DOES matter. She's so close and I don't want her to suffer and have to repeat freshman year again.
What's a mother to do?

KCSAG - I have had generalized anxiety disorder and depression all of my life (until now, I'm working on it and happy to report that all is going well). I could never handle doing presentations in front of the class. I never told my parents about it, and would make up excuses in order to keep hiding it. Now, I'm in college and I HAVE to do presentations in front of a group. I wish I could do it on my own without having to take some medication an hour before my presentation.

I'm glad the school is working with you and that you're aware of his anxiety attacks this early in his academic life. Right now I'm seeing a Licensed Clinical Caseworker, and my anxiety level is slowly fading; I'm gaining confidence in myself and that judgement, which I was totally afraid of (my prof is present and gives critiques at the end which really freak me out more than what my peers think), doesn't really matter. I'm slowly accepting that constructive criticism isn't such a bad thing. It will only make me that much better in the future.

So I guess if you can't find a LCCW, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the way to go.

Best of Luck to you both.

panicmom - I've currently been dealing with the same problem. My anxiety has been so bad I haven't really been to school this semester, just staying at home working on my reports and emailing them in. I keep planning on going to school, have even gone several times, but end up going home because I my anxiety causes me to puke.

As I said above, I've been seeing a LCCW for about 6 weeks now. It's a slow process because you have to basically change the way you've been thinking, dealing, and your actions during various day-to-day situations. To shed a light of hope, it takes some time to get used to speaking to a therapist until trust is gained and that took me three sessions, but I'm beginning to notice a really big change. I'm even going to school tomorrow - seriously.

I know you're worried. I'm in college and my mom still worries about my anxiety. My parents don't understand my feelings. My dad has anxiety and even he can't understand how I feel. Everyone's anxiety is different and it's frustrating. She sounds frustrated - even I almost threw out the program a few weeks ago.

Just keep supporting her and trying to work with her teachers and counselors (even though in my opinion their whole "give her tough love" solution seems idiotic). It's really strange, but there are A LOT of people who have no idea what anxiety is like and that it's actually a serious condition of one's state of mind.

...by the way, I was wondering if she's been able to do her make up work at home? Oh yeah, and maybe you can ask her doctor to type up a letter for her that you can turn in to her school explaining her absence - I myself have turned in 3 (the 4th tomorrow) to the counseling office at school.

P.S. I'm glad you're worried about your children. I don't know what I would have done all this time without my mother's love and support.

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she is mostly resistant to listening to the tapes because she thinks they can't help her and she hates "stupid breathing exercises" that don't work.

Panicmom,

About the tapes not helping her. If you saw my post you see real scientific evidence that cognitive behavioral therapy [CBT] has been found to be at least as effective as meds in treating anxiety/panic/depression. It has also pulled me out of a hole of depression and i'm completely off of anti-anxiety meds for over 4.5 years now. I was on them for 27 years.

So, who do you believe? A teen-ager with distorted thoughts and no experience in how to overcome what she has or valid evidence contrary to what she believes? The bottom line is that her thoughts about the program not helping are without merit, no basis upon which to make that judgment. It's only an assumption, a very poor one, in my opinion. No proof whatsover. Quite the contrary.

If she fails, she fails. I hope that doesn't happen, but it's too late for anything to help much before school ends unless it's meds. It is a setback if she fails, but not end of the world. Especially if she'll get her rear end in gear to do something to help herself, i.e. a therapist and/or CBT. She can overcome this but it will be her who will have to do the work.

Thank you both, I was so nervous about posting. I wish my daughter had someone else to talk to who is experiencing the same things, although she does not want to talk to anyone about it and I suggested the forum. Even though I suffered with anxiety for years, years ago, she thinks it's not the same thing because I am fine now. She is slowly opening up to a therapist she started seeing 2 months ago and I think is doing some of the hard work she needs to do. The CBT therapist, a different therapist, is still new this week and my DD doesn't think the techniques she is using will actually help--she tried to induce panic in her by having her hold her breath! I'm wondering as well. We are working with the school and hopefully will get a liaison to help with teachers and homework. She's been doing some of it all along and we will take it day by day. I am still trying to be supportive and have actually gotten her to listen to 2 tapes and will continue to encourage that. But mostly I feel helpless and hopeless that what I am doing is not enough. I think I am just trying to keep her from going through what I went through, even though we both know I can't. You're right--she's got to do the work herself, yet she's only 14, not 30 like I was.

It sounds to me like you are doing an excellent job with her. Loving support is what we need as well as a loving kick in the behind to get us to do the work to recover. This may appear as all bad right now, but there is another way to view all of this.

The good news is she is working with therapy, CBT, at a very young age which has the potential to keep her in good emotional health with as little downside risk as possible for the rest of her life. I didn't come across it until I was 50. I struggled for decades. So, perhaps short term she may suffer some negative consequences, but long term she has a bright future ahead of her.

If she can experience just one "light bulb" moment where she notices the therapy is helpng that could be all she needs to really dive into it. If she finds help in the therapy now, she can go on to college and hopefully won't have such difficulties then. If she does go to college, no one is going to look at her high school record, and therefore, all the negative consequences are short lived. If she doesn't, and she recovers significantly, that can be a plus on a resume as well showing how resourceful she was in overcoming a very significant problem. I think you should be proud of yourself for how you are dealing with this. I think both you and her will come through this with flying colors.

Thank you for your kind words and support. As a "recovered" panicmom, I still have to deal with my perfectionistic tendencies. I want to do everything right, make it perfect, be the perfect mom, have the perfect kids. Her recovery is going in the right direction. You're right, the outcome will be up to her and the hard work we've started may save her the later pain.

I have been blessed with becoming reacquainted with a friend from years ago who has suffered from panic recently. Knowing what we were going through, she gave me the tapes and said here, she has this, this will help her, I know she can get better if you both follow the program. How funny that certain people come into your life when you need them the most sometimes . . . Instead of going on and assuming that we were just dealing with a bad attitude, hypochondria, school truancy, defiance, we switched our tactics and now call it what it is--anxiety, and what a cloud lifted when we talked to her school counselor and told the teachers exactly what is going on. They have been wonderful and are willing to work with her and let us give her makeup tests and quizzes at home, although we still do not know what to do about finals yet. Nice to know that the help is there if needed.

I know we are on the right track and who knows what bumps in the road we may face, but at least it's going forward. At least that's how I feel today!

Sorry I don't know anyone in KC but after I did Lucinda's program I went through a CBT program that put me over the top of my anxiety and panic etc. Have your son read the book called Been There, Done That? Do This! by Sam Obitz and have him start countering his thoughts in a TEA form every morning and I bet he will start feeling better soon. It's a real simple exercise once you get the hang of it and the book is short and easy to comprehend because the author was a longtime suffer like Lucinda.

KCSAG, I live close to Kansas City. I have had problems with anxiety for most of my life (I'm 47). I've gone through the Program three times and have seen wonderful changes in my life because of it. Right now, though, I have been experiencing difficulties with anxiety again because of the events going on in my life. My oldest son is being deployed to Afghanistan for 18 months. My youngest just graduated from high school and will be going off to college in Cleveland, Ohio. So, my fears are caused by the war and by the empty nest syndrome.

It would be of help to me to be of help to someone else. If I could help you and/or your son, please let me know.

As far as a psychologist or a psychiatrist, I don't know of one who deals specifically with teenagers or anxiety. But, if you have a church, ask your minister/priest for some suggestions. I always find help at church in almost all situations.

Take care.

Debbie

hi everyone, i can totally relate to your kids-i'm 19, graduated from high school last year, but spent the last 3 months being home-schooled because of my panic that turned into agoraphobia. all of what you are saying is on the right track-working with the school is REALLY important, keeping them updated, talking to the teachers and counselors. my school counselor wasn't so great, but the principal was very understanding and was able to get all the teachers on the same page. as for that whole 'tough love' approach, i personally believe it will only make your kids feel more isolated from you. right now, they probably feel like a total weirdo (i know i did/do) and they don't understand themselves let alone think anyone else does. my stepdad would do the tough love thing all the time-say no excuses, you have to go to the store/restaurant/school/etc. and you have to stay no matter how bad you feel. that only caused me to feel more like he didn't understand or didn't care to understand plus i would panic more because i felt so trapped.
there are a bunch of teens/young adults out there with this problem. i've had this problem since 8th grade, so they are not alone. remind them of that, and remind them that this is not their fault and that you are frustrated at the situation and not at them. that's the best advice i can give.
good luck!