I didn't realize this anxiety was going to take such a toll on me during pregnancy. After all, I have had 3 other children and handled things fine. But this time around, I am struggling with my anxieties. I have been fighting hard to be strong and just take things day by day... but it has become what seems like more than I can handle.
I have my 3 girls now that I love dearly. But they are wearing on me terribly. I find myself getting very unnerved by many of the things they do, and especially the things that "press my buttons". I am a single mom, trying to work a full time job, then come home at night and get all stressed out by the actions of the kids. But that isn't even the worst of it. I am exhausted all the time and don't feel like I am spending the time with them that they need. But my house needs attention, MY needs have to fit in there somewhere. My anxiety has been climbing and climbing and sometimes it feels like there is no return from it. I know I shouldn't be ungrateful for the gift of my 4th child, but I find myself wondering with all the pressure I feel already, how am I going to handle it all? I'm scared, and not sure how to cope... any input would be greatly appreciated.

Nikki,
No ONE can be a super mom!!! Why are you trying to be??? A human can just do some much in one day. I know what a struggle your having, but stop and look at what you said.
Single Mom
Job
3 kids at home
One on the way
House
cooking
laundry
Nikki you know even better than me, you have to prioritize daily. So, your house isnt spotless,so you have to eat sandwiches now and then , rather than cook. Spend some quality time for YOU and YOUR kids. Stop beating yourself up!!! If you have to make a schedule everyday , do it. If any of y our children are old enough, have them help you. Have a talk with our girls, tell them right now you need thier help. Make a list on the refridgerator,of chores each has to do nikki, they are capable of helping even the younger ones,by just picking up thier toys or clothes. It wont stay this way nikki,even if it feels like it.Pregnancy is tough under the best circumstances, and i hope for you , your circumstances get better,because you deserve much better. Love you Nelly

Nikki: I'm so sorry to hear you are so overwhelmed right now but anyone would be. You are managing so much on your own right now and you need to be proud of yourself for all that you do accomplish in a day's time. So what if you don't get the house cleaned or the grass cut. You got out of bed, got the girls ready, made breakfast, got yourself off to work, worked all day, came home, took care of the girls and provided them with a meal to fill their bellies. Just thinking about all that you do in a day's time makes me tired. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for Nikki. There are many men and women who could not keep up with you on a daily basis. I admire you for all that you have and do. You are a very special person Nikki and you need to realize that. You need to see the person that everyone else sees. You know that if I could be there to help you Nikki I would. I only have one daughter at home right now and working full time and running her around takes its toll on me so I can only imagine how exhausted you are each and every day. Please stay strong Nikki and take care of yourself and your girls. The dust and the grass will always be there tomorrow but our kids grow up so fast. And I promise you this Nikki....your girls will never grow up and say "boy our house was always dirty and the grass was never cut" what they will say is "our mom is wonderful...she always took the time to spend with us and make us feel special". No one really cares if our houses are dusty Nikki. That's just the perfectionist in us thinking they do. Well I've rambled on enough. Always know Nikki that you are truly a special woman who is very very blessed and loved.
Love ya,
Kelly

NikkiJ,

((((( BIG HUGGGSS )))))) I don't know how old your 3 girls are but if it's possible, maybe after you get them settled when you get home after work you can draw a bath and relax for 20 minutes. IF the girls are hungry, sit them down with a handful of grapes and a cheese stick to tide them over until dinner. Then go and start dinner. You need some ME time girl. You certainly, have a very busy and draining day and being pregnant on top of it is the icing on the cake! I've been working hard on inserting "pleasure moments" throughout my day. It goes something like this:

UP 30 minutes earlier to get in a walk
TO WORK IN CAR - Listen to affirmation tape
LUNCH - go in car or in an empty room and listen to relaxation tape
HOME FROM WORK IN CAR - Listen to affirmation tape
AFTER DINNER - take a 15 minute stress reliever walk with kids
THROUGHOUT THE DAY - drink chamomile tea, deep breathe when feel tension, mentally and physicall relax tightening muscles (shoulder shrugs, get up and stretch, or just think about relaxing them)

House chores: I throw one load of laundry in the morning and one at night while the other one dries. Maybe the girls can help you fold and put away. No more all day laundry marathons YIPPEEE. Put the wet clothes from the night in dryer in a.m.

Dinner: ONLY easy dinners and double recipe and freeze for another day. (E.g. spaghetti and premade turkey meatballs w/ frozen veggies; fish sticks and baked french fries w/ veggies; baked chicken w/ butter and paremesan cheese, frozen veggies and microwaved sweet potato; make your own pizzas w/ corn on the cob and broccoli or cut up fruit).

You have so many resposibilities on you and it isn't possible for you to do it all. As the others suggested, get the girls to do age appropriate tasks. My 12 year old cleans up dishes after supper and loads and uploads dishes. She also brings down clothes for laundry and separates them (darks/lights). Soon I will have her help fold. She also collects all her accumulated stuff in downstairs area and brings to her room to be put away. This is a HUGE help. My 2 yr old does mostly messing up but we try and have him pick up toys at the end of night. These little things help. Set a timer for 10/15 minutes and call it something fun like "topsy turvey time". Everyone runs around and collects their stuff and brings it to their rooms to be put away. Put on some fun music.

Rest is so important for you, which I know is almost impossible for you right now. I snuck in naps during lunch time when I was pregnant with my son. It really helped. Bring a mini alarm clock to work and head to your car if you can for a 40 minute nap. Hang in here girl. Things are going to get better. Try and eat energizing food. Are you taking your prenatal vitamin? Those help too. I hope some of this is helpful. You may already be doing many of the suggestions. We're here for you! Take care.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: hope4peace,