Ok, here's the deal. I'm 22 and have been married for two years. We are getting to the point soon where we might want to start having children. Most of our married friends already have children or are in the process of trying to conceive. I have generalized anxiety with panic and depression and I am currently on Lexapro, with good results. However, the thought of having to raise a child with my anxiety problems sends me into tortuous panic attacks. I feel like I would never be a good mother with anxiety and I would not be able to "handle" motherhood, even though I want children someday.

If anyone else out there has or is experiencing the same issue, please let me know. I want kids but it gives me severe panic episodes to think about the responsibility of raising a child when you yourself have anxiety and panic disorder.

Any thoughts? Thank you in advance!

upwinger-YES I am 23 and am going on my one year anniversary in September-We are beginning to talk about children but I am scared like you that I will not be "good enough" because of this disorder that I have-I suffer from Pure-O/OCD, depression, and anxiety-I often have obsessive scarey thoughts and they don't help with thinking about having children-so I am praying, working the program with a personal coach and hoping for the best-as soon as I feel like I am halfway in control of myself we will try to conceive-I am currently on Prozac my Doctor wanted me to be on Lexapro but I was on Prozac before and it helped so I suggested that to him-thats the only reason I am on it-do you like Lexapro? thanks

Here's what I think: You're both very young still and are fairly newly married. Be comforted that you have plenty of time to have children. It helped me to look at it in a different light. You could use the next few years to get to know you better, to feel more confident and to also strengthen your marriage.
If you have faith in God, pray for guidance and trust that He will show you when it's time.
You'll ALWAYS doubt whether you're ready. All mothers-to-be do that. I'm newly pregnant and pretty scared about how I'll do emotionally after delivery. I will have gone through the program 2 times by my due date and I feel confident that God has this in my path now. I didn't feel that way a year ago.
Patience and practice is very difficult. Those are the keys to this program, it seems. They also happen to be keys to healthy living.
All the best.

I am 40 yrs old I have 1 daughter who is 5. She is perfectly healthy and happy. When she was born she was healthy. I have had anxiety and OCD since I was 25. I have been on medication since I was 26. I had thoughts of what kind of person am I to bring a child into this world into my life. Alot of time wasted because knowing now what I know I would have had more. But I must consider my age now. There are worse things in the world a child could get as a parent, this I know, I see and hear it every time I go in a store and listen to how some people talk to their children. I consulted my Drs. all 3 family dr., Gyn.,and my psychiatrist who was doing my meds. We all worked together and it was fine. She inspires me to try to be the best I can be not just for her but me,her, and her dad. What a tradgedy it would have been to go through life without this experience because of fear. Please understand I loose my temper and she can drive me... well you know but I wouldn't take back my decision if I could!! God be with you in your personal decisions on when the time is right for you personally. And one more thing in case your wondering Xanax 2x a day and Zoloft at night.

I'm scared to get pregnant too. My husband and I will probably start trying in these upcoming months, but I sometimes find myself worrying about the pregnancy. Like, if I'm so OCD about my health right now NOT pregnant, how bad is it going to get when I AM pregnant? Will my anxiety get worse and will I start having attacks again? Will the stress of the anxiety hurt the baby?

These are all things I worry about. You're definitely not alone.

Thanks everybody, it is really encouraging to hear that I'm not the only one scared to have a baby because of anxiety, etc. It is a big relief to read all of your replies.

GE: Yes, I like Lexapro a lot. I was on Prozac and Xanax for about 2 years but I guess I got too used to it because the anxiety started coming back. When I first started Lex the side effects were killer but they went away after a few days (migraines, increased anxiety, drowsiness). Also it doesn't affect your sex drive as much as some other meds.

Oh I'm so glad I wasn't the only one with this thought. I'm a lot older than you ladies...29...getting married next year I'll be 30 and I have convinced myself I don't want kids solely because of this. Not only because of my symptoms that are more off than on but I don't want to pass it down to my kids since its genetic.

I agree with KD...you guys are still very young...don't rush the issue because its "the right thing to do"...take your time on it. I used to think this way...that I had to be married by a certain age and have kids by a certain age...and got so mad (Before the program) at my fiance because he just wasn't interested in getting married at that time. Now, I'm so glad I waited.

I wish you all the best whatever happens

Ok...I have had severe anxiety/ocd-scary thoughts/depression for 5 years. I Have a 7 year old Daughter and I love everymoment with her. Sometimes I get so busy with her a I dont have time to worry about my condition. But I know with the skills I got from this program and the medication I am taking I can overcome these issues. I am now on wellbutrin( I am 4 months pregnant) Wellbutrin is safe during pregnancy. And Yes I get nervous but I know I am a great mother to my daughter and I will be a great mother to the new baby. I say if you are ready go for it. If you spend your whole life waiting to feel better you will always have an excuse to not get better. YOur sickness will be your crutch. When something challenging comes our way we give in to our sickness and say I cant do that because I have Anxiety/depression/ocd. Whatever it may be dont you think its time for you to give yourself a little positive self talk and Say I can do this.
So like I said. I am a mom, I am pregnant and I am happy!!! Scared??? of coarse, who isnt?
Will I be ok? a Good Mother? I will be the best I can be and thats whats important. And as for passing it on genetically.... You are learning so many ways to cope with your symptoms with the program that you can teach your child from the start about positive self talk. I can say that probably 75 % of us grew up thinking negatively. As a parent we can teach our kid the opposite and change their future.
If you are ready do it, If your not You will know it.

Loce Tammy

quote:

Originally posted by TL7:
Oh I'm so glad I wasn't the only one with this thought. I'm a lot older than you ladies...29...getting married next year I'll be 30 and I have convinced myself I don't want kids solely because of this. Not only because of my symptoms that are more off than on but I don't want to pass it down to my kids since its genetic.


I agree with KD...you guys are still very young...don't rush the issue because its "the right thing to do"...take your time on it. I used to think this way...that I had to be married by a certain age and have kids by a certain age...and got so mad (Before the program) at my fiance because he just wasn't interested in getting married at that time. Now, I'm so glad I waited.

I wish you all the best whatever happens

I'm a few days late in finding this thread, but I'm glad I did. I have you beat by 10 yrs, I'm 39 married 7yrs and still petrified of pregnancy. My fears start with, will I be a good mother? Can I mentally handle the lifestyle change? Am I too selfish to be a good mother? Can I afford it? How will I continue to work and make money? Will I have an ugly child that will be tormented in school? Will I pass this mess (anxiety/depression) on to him? Will I have enough patience? The list goes on and on and on and I make myself sick.

Sad thing is, when I hear of a co-worker that recently found out they were pregnant I get envious and jealous. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but I have this feelings of wishing it were me and at the same time doubting if I would be able to be a parent.

I've taken the first step to get off the Paxil and on to Zoloft, I can not fuction without meds. I'm half a paxil and half a zoloft for a week then strictly Zoloft.

I'm taking the steps to prepare for pregnancy, but thinking about it makes me want to puke.

ok, i am the 36 year-old that was once in your shoes. here is how it turned out for me. i married at 28 and waited until i was 34 to have a child because of the same fears. the "waiting" was torture for my husband and it was very stressful for me. finally, my friend gave me advice that resonated with me. she said that some people are never "ready". so, i took a leap of faith. i have to say, the moment she was born, i just could NOT believe that i ever had a doubt. the first 2 years were literally bliss. i marvelled over everything she did and every emotion i had. now, i want her to have a sister and i am facing fertility issues. i waited too long. believe me, this is NOT a reason to have a child at the moment, but just know that infertility can really throw you and your family for a loop. hopefully, these tapes can help you prepare yourself as best as you can. and you may find comfort in knowing that you could teach these skills to child from day one. that would be a gift that you could give your child that a lot of other parents will not be able to do. what better way to prepare a child for life? that is what i hope to do for my daughter, even though she is already 2 years old.

Motherhood is a wonderful blessing. However, your fears are well-founded. I had a great first few years, but then the reality of working mom set in and things have been crazy every since. My Angel is now 9 and I am very concerned about my, tribulations, which she is witnessing first hand. What keeps me grounded is a strong sense of responsibility and unconditional love which only a child can inspire. YOU"LL DO FINE!! A mother's instinct is the most wonderful force. Best wishes... your whole life is ahead of you.
Signed,
Mom at 25, now 35!!
Hairtrigger

I am almost 37 and trying to get pregnant. Taking a fertility drug called clomid and trying to switch meds from Klonopin to Buspar. Having a hard time getting off Klonopin...lots of anxiety. Questioning myself too over this..UGH!

HI, i am 27 and i suffer from panic attacks probably since i was 16, i had never ever taking any medicine, beucasue i dont want to depend on it! i was in the hospital on may for anxiety, but no medicine expect when i was there they gave me something i dont remember the name, i want to have kids so so bad!! but the axietey like you guys makes me worry and scared!! how woul i be able to have a baby with anxiety?? but i know god is great and a know that i will be fine!! how come u guys dont try to just not take medicine?? that is just my suggestion anxiety is different with everybody, but i been able to handle it for so many years, i am fine with out it. thanks =)

Belinda-it is hard to come off of Klonopin...I weaned off of that onto Buspar. It took quite a few months but you will be able to do it. Buspar is safer to take when pregnant whereas Klonopin isn't so I think knowing that, will help you become more determined to get through side effects of switching meds. I believe you can do it.

Libran, how much of the Klonopin were you on before you switched to Buspar? and how long were you on Klonopin if you dont mind me asking, I am thinking of going off Klonopin