Okay, I was watching the news the other night and there was a man who threw his children off of a balcony and then himself. My question is what makes people who have scary thoughts different from the crazy people who go through with them? I got super paranoid thinking things like "maybe they started out like me, just having scary thoughts and trying to control them and then they just lost the battle". It started really creeping me out and I became a little obsessive to the point where I got scared to give my kids a bath or even be around them. Not that I want to hurt my kids but everyone said that this guy had always been a loving parent and he was just going through a stressful time but it was nothing to bring this on. So now I guess my question is, is there a difference between people who have scary thoughts brought on by panic or anxiety and the people who drive their cars into rivers or are we the same and some of us are just lucky or have more self control and if they are crazy and we are not then how do we know that we aren't like them and just haven't gone that crazy yet? I know this is a strange topic but I can't really stop obsessively thinking that maybe everyone's wrong and I am like these people.

Hi I just wanted to reply to your post as I have often been rapt with obsessive thoughts. Right now one of mine is that I am pregnant and what if I end up like Andrea Yates, the one that killed her 5 children. That being said, however, I know it is an irrational scary thought, no more, no less. The fact that we can think about those thoughts and see how scary and horrible means we would never do it. It is scary to think of what human beings are capable of, but we anxiety sufferers are highly sensitive individuals who are sensitized to everything more than others. When we hear a news story as the one you mention, we internalize, analyze and obsess. That is part of us. But knowing that they are only thoughts helps to realize we would never act on them. There are fantastic books and other materials out there that speak much better than I can. The Attacking Anxiety program has a lesson on scary thoughts, there is also a book called Stop Obsessing. Please just know that you have internalized what you heard, you would never act on it.

Its nice to know im not the only one here. I to have had thoughts of hurting my wife and are dog however when im not having an attack I dont think that way, I know deep in my heart I would never do that, I agree with Corduroy75 the fact that you can feel that is A indaction that could not do it, I tell myself that I am a safe person and try to destract my mind by doing something else. so those crazy ass people dont have feelings they dont think they just do. so know in your heart your safe and if you feel like your going to hurt someone call for help or remove your self from the situation dont let your self become consumed with the thinking of hurting anybody. oh yea STOP watching the news.... the news used to mess with me to now I watch other things on tv and change back when the weathers is on hang in there time heals all YOU CAN DO IT. if you need to talk im here I check the posting a couple times a day remember you can do it

hi,
i too struggled with this very thing. for me it was a fear of losing control. a book called THE IMP OF THE MIND by lee baer addresses these very issues. i too had the bath tub thing. if you need to talk email me. i would be happy to talk with you.
peace,
amy

OMG!!! YOU MEAN OTRHER PEOPLE WONDER TOO!?

I kept thinking about that woman... about a year ago... there was an amber aloert out for her. She had a misscarage... had a family of like 5 already and got so screwed up in her head about the misscaruiiage that she told people she got preggo again. Met some woman online and then went to her home, sliced her stomach open and stole her unborn chiold and left the woman for dead! Now when I was preggo my anxietry and obsessive thoughts were much worse so my constant fear was that someone would kill me or want my child. Now my thoughts lean towards... well she seemed normal...and she just snapped1 Who woulda thought someone without such a large family would loose it that bad ovr one misscariage!/ What if I snap? What if one day i just loose it and totally freak out!? Then I remind myself I am ok and worrying irrationally... but then i say ... well it happens doesnt it... there are so many people who just like wig out and shoot someone or drown there kids for lord only knows what reasons etc... and that was my exact question what makes them so different!?
In the end I always decided it is a stupid irrational UNHEALTHY woprry thought process and obsession and MAKE myself stop... but the worry creeps in some days. And WHY!? Why cant I make it go away or just shut it off!? I dont want to hurt anyone! I brake for freakin small rodents in the road you know! So where is this comming from?? OCD? Inability to stop one thought which leads to another which leads to another which ALWAYS ends up somewhere bad which starts a cycle of bad thoughts and worries related tot he orriginal topic?? maybe ... I dont know...

quote:

oh yea STOP watching the news.... the news used to mess with me to now I watch other things on tv and change back when the weathers is on hang in there time heals all YOU CAN DO IT. if you need to talk im here I check the posting a couple times a day remember you can do it

LOL OMG! Ya I dont watch the news at ALL anymore! All it does is make me paranoid about anything and everything and most of which is stuff I cant change!!!

Well at least I am not the only one. The thing that makes me feel crazy is that I feel so guilty about even thinking that I may be capable of something so horrific. I find myself sobbing thinking about how I don't even deserve my children because anyone who even thinks these horrible things should not have kids. I found that since I have had the baby it has gotten worse. I think because I know this is the time that even some "normal" people would be thinking scary thoughts and I start thinking that if regular people have these thoughts than of course I am going to have them as well. I don't know if that makes sense or not. It is all very scary and sad to me.

ok I often had this problem when I was pregnant but I 'll tell you the difference between some one who has those thoughts and some one who acts on them. The difference is the person who has those thoughts and acts apon them enjoys it, They like the thoughts, they do not scare them. And we do get scared of them and do not enjoy it, the thoughts bother us. Don't worry there just thoughts don't read into them to much.

man this topic is right up my alley, this in a nutshell is what my problem with anxiety and depression is all about! Im so glad to know that we are not alone in this! I too have felt like I am not worthy of my children and dident understand why God gave them to me. I want nothing more than to be a good mom who is confident her love and ability to raise my children and enjoy them and have them enjoy me, sometimes I feel like such a failure because of my thougts and I think thats it ive ruined it. But deep down I know that this will pass, there will be healing and a great life with my kids to be had, I just find myself wishing that the reality of Andrea Yates and the lady you stole teh baby or the man on the balcony dident exsist, its like why do they have to ruin my life too? but in reality I let them, I invite them in over and over again, thinking about there actions and worrying about them constantly, you are not alone, any of you! we are all going through this together! we will overcome this!

Hi Mandy,
First let me say that you are not alone. I am going thru the same exact thing. I was told that people who are crazy dont think about things, and that I was very creative and needed to ask myself what it was that I did not want to deal with. I was told that it was easier for me to scare myself than deal with what was bothering me I know this is no fun. But we all will get thru it just tell yourself "thoughts only thoughts" I am sorry that I cannot be of more help but I hope this helps a little I am in the begining of the program.

This has really ripped me up inside! My eyes tear up just reading your comments because it makes me feel like I'm not alone.

Lately my anxiety will turn into these feelings like I've been trapped by my family and my children, but before this I NEVER felt that way!!! I am so in love with my 3 children (11, 8, and 2)..but this anxiety/depression has made me feel so resentful of what I'm not enjoying, what I can't seem to participate in, and then I am scared after a thought of feeling trapped, because I did not feel like that at all before this.....and that's what I tell myself..I remind myself that before anxiety gripped my life again (it's happened years before) that I was not upset with my life....I mean, I was upset with some of our financial circumstances that seem to go on and on, but I was very happy with my family..my husband and my children...now it feels like I have to force my feelings for them...even though I know I love them so much.....

The other scary thought is being afraid I'll hurt myself. I hate this one with a passion. And to top it off, I went to a new bible study last night with some women at my church and one of the women spent a lot of time discussing the recent suicide of her brother who had 3 girls he left behind. I almost jumped out of my skin!!!! Here I am terrified of hurting myself and not being here for my family and then I have to sit through this discussion about how her brother followed through!!!! It was awful. I got in the car after that and cried my eyes out. I screamed at God..begged him to take this away....I just want him to show up and help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

queenb-
We have all been there. I was doing so much better and then last night I woke up and felt so out of it. For some reason just waking up or being tired triggers my anxiety. I started freaking out thinking that maybe this wasn't real, maybe my whole life isn't real. I just felt so out of it and dream like. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. Than of course I started thinking "oh my god, this is it you have gone crazy, they all said it wouldn't happen and that it was just anxiety but it has". Than of course I started thinking that if I was crazy maybe I would hurt myself or worse my family, after all that's what crazy people do. I stayed in bed for two hours in the dark, trying to breath and get a grip. finally I fell back asleep. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I am coming off of my medication. It just wasn't working for me but the withdrawl is making everything worse. I guess what I am trying to say is that we have all been through that kind of stuff.

I am not a professional, but I had a support group for women who experienced postpartum depression for 3 years and been doing phone counseling. I started doing this in 1988 and still continue to do phone counseling. I had scary thoughts back then, related everything I heard to myself. Please, stop watching the news, it will drive you crazy and give you more to think about and applying everything you hear to yourself. When I was in therapy, my therapist told me that people who act on these thoughts don't find them scary and I didn't. I needed to be reassured that I wasn't crazy and going to do anything. These thoughts really scared me. Crazy people don't find these thoughts scary. Many people have these thoughts but don't make a big deal out of them. Nervous people do. I no longer fear these thoughts and I know I would never act on them. Dr. Claire Weekes has a book that she touches on the subject of obsessive thoughts, scary thoughts and how to deal with them. Good Luck and remember these are just thoughts.

Here is a cool response from Jeff who runs the panicend.com website for intrusive scary thoughts. Ive had them all and this helps a ton. Pm me if you need anything!

Intrusive thoughts are you seeking control over your feelings. If you could slow down your thought stream you might catch yourself starting the process with, "I wonder if THAT (fill in stressor) wil make me anxious?" This process is habitual. When you are under stress, under above normal sensitization, you recognize your tensed feelings and the "testing" begins. These are silly thoughts that give you a blast of adrenaline. I still have them in my dreams and they wake me from time to time - but only if I have not been treating my GI very well- like 5 nights of alcohol intake, or bad eating. But that is MY trigger!

This testing occurs because you have a belief that deep down inside you have something wrong with you that you have failed as of yet to uncover.



The answer is to rationally counter these with, "There is really NOTHING wrong with me except I am currently sensitized to stress! So I will have these silly thoughts and react to them! They will go away when my stress decreases so long as I don't bother with them!"



Not bothering with them means not over-analyzing them.

Hi
I do too have all those scary thoughts, but the only thing that scares me is that the feelings are so strong, it feels like I wont to act on the thought, but I don't they are scaring me. And another thing that I hate is that the thought and feelings are always there, they never go away. What should I do. I was taking zoloft for 6 months 50 mg and 3 weeks ago , i am taking 25 mg, and it feels like i am loosing my controll. I am scared to do something scary I feel like my brane freezes. Please help me, any ideas what i should do