I live with my fiance, we've been together for the past two years. I'm divorced and I still have a friendly relationship with my ex-husband. He and I share a 9 year old daughter. My fiance is just finishing school and we've found no jobs in our area. His best option is in Milwaukee. We live about 100 miles from there so we'd have to move to make this happen. My fiance and I are struggling as I have been fired from my job and haven't been able to find another. We're running behind on bills and bearly making ends meet. His student loan payment will be going up in only a few months and he has to find a good paying job. This means possibly moving before the school year ends and I'm wondering if this is such a good idea. I feel like we have very little choice here but I want what's best for my daughter. I worry about taking her away from all the things that she knows and bringing her to something totally new. Then again this may be a chance for her to start over. I also have some concerns about how beneficial being with her father really is. He's very irresponsible and allows her to be in charge when they're together. He is constantly taking her out to eat, to the amusement park, all the things a little kid loves to do. I personally don't believe he does this out of any desire to spend time with his daughter, I think he does this to keep her busy till it's bed time or time to come back home. If we moved, my daughter would only see her father on the weekends instead of a few days a week. So my questions are: Is it a good decision to move before the school year ends? What if I have no other choice, what can I do to make this easier on my daughter? I would love any input any one can offer. Thanks.

Hi Anika,I don't think children are as fragile as we think they are .Life choices involve changes.As long as she feels secure and safe she will be fine.100 miles isn't that far away,and she can still visit her Dad. Good Luck.............Malikye

Anikah ~

I believe that if moving will benefit your financial situation and provide a more stable environment for your daughter, then it will definitely be a positive in everyone's life. Have you talked with your daughter at all about this?

Breaking the news to her as soon as possbile, or even talking with her about it before you have made your choice to prepare her for a possible move may be beneficial to the situation.


She will still have her father on weekends, so it's not like you are completely cutting him out of her life.

As long as you are supportive with your daughter about the move & offering her a helping hand with adjusting to a new school environment she should be fine. Like Malikye said, children aren't as fragile as we think they are.

I wish you all the best!!!

I do agree with Linds I think to talk to her as soon as possible and just help her adjust and she will be fine. She will still see her Dad on weekends which is not that uncommon for divorced couples anyway. I have two girls myself and they are young adults now and I think what I have learned through the years is that if Mom is happy and this will make your stress easier and your financial situation easier which in turn will make you a better mom, b/c you will be less stessed out. We as mom's I think have so much influence over our girls and when you are this stressed and it is totally understandable why then you will be better off and so will she. Alot of love goes a long way when you have change and just the fact that you are thinking of her so much just shows how much you love her. I think everything will be fine. Good luck and God bless
Mimigirl

You guys are right. I'll try not to stress out about the move but look forward a chance to start a new life. Thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement!