Hi,
I have posted on this board several times already and always got good and helpful advice!

I´m a single Mom to an almost 13year old girl, my husband lives in Switzerland since almost 2 years and we´re about to get divorced. Officially, we share the child custody which is okay, but practically he is not around to do anything! He visits every 5-6 weeks, and I have all the responsability and I´m raising our daughter alone. With an anxiety disorder, it´s not eaysy.
You always have to function, always have to get yourself together, at work, at home... have to take care of every single aspect in life, make all the decisions, no matter what..., sometimes I feel like in a trap... nobody there to lean on, to support me, to hug me. Don´t want to sound like self-pity, but that´s just how it is.
I´m so tired.
Althoug she´s really a loving and friendly child, she´s very lazy, concerning her school work or duties at home, I have to remind her of everything, including brushing her teeth!!! But she NEVER forgets when her favourite TV show starts, so it can´t be a mental problem.... It´s not that she´s confused because we get divorced, she´s really doing well, it´s just her personality, and probably, puberty...I have to control everything, otherwise she only does what she wants or what´s pleasant. GGGRRR!

How do you get along without harming your child or going nuts or passing on your problems to your kid??
Thanks for advice!

Hey girl,
My son is 13. I think that's pretty normal for a 13 year old. They can be little hellions and only interested in what they interested in.

Hi, dear!
I knew you would "find" me here!
I need all the support I can get, you know, and girls are... well, "special"...!

Today I wrote a list for my daughter with alle the things she has to do every day, in detail, and all her tasks over the week. Hope it helps!

I think the trap is: feeling guilty, when you´re raising your child alone AND suffer from an anxiety disorder. Anxiety makes you feel guilty anyway, for whatever reason...
My Mom makes me insecure because she says about my daughter: she´s like her father!! which even makes me feel GUILTY that I chose such a loser as a father of my child... isn´t that silly?
if there is anything out there in this world to feel guilty for, I will!

Hello friend.
Don't you dare feel guilty for anxiety. Don't even think about it and certainly don't think like that about your ex hubby. He sucks, so what. You didn't know he would do what he has done. That is not a burden you should carry!

HEY Kiddo!...if it makes you feel any better...mine (4) were like that and there were two of us here...now they are on their own pretty much..BUT!!! that teen stuff is the real deal...not at all funny until you're through it ...
Just know it is like that for most teens and tweens .(..interesting to see that they want things nicer when it is their own stuff!!) Anyway as my guys said .."Mom, with you there is always something!"...I always had another step to ramp up the consequence up to and including... "the water in the tub/sink is paid for by us and you do not have to get unlimited use or hot" ...AND my all time favorite.."it is a priviledge for you to ride in this car!" (ONe of which that I reminded I have the ability to remove at any time)...The ultimate...."When you will not allow me to be the authority in our home, you have overstepped yours and consequences will result....So are you arguing with me?" (WE never had to do anything very drastic but the point was usually made. We did use "you will be paying for your own insurance or not drive" once, and threatened the cutting off of college tuition for the "I am eighteen and graduating and can do what I want" last ditch H.S.attempt at revolt.) Keep your chin up..okay? They do grow up and love you for keeping vigilant for them..I promise..

I am a single mom of a 14 year old girl and 12 year old boy....DOING IT ALONE FOR MANY YEARS!! Its a challenge especially being so wrapped up with my own problems of anxiety/depression. I have no support, no one to lean on to speak of. I Have a fiance thats lived away for 3 years and lately that is becoming a challenge as well. I believe with or with out anxiety we are going to have many challenges as our children become young adults. I am constantly complaining about how my children are so lazy. I think that stems from ME...Being single for so long I never forced them to do chores because I felt guilty for being gone so much at work, and them not having anyone but me. This was a huge mistake. I think we need to stay firm with our kids and try not to think of poor me...its tough but I will get through this...One day I hope my kids will love and respect me for all my hard work and efforts I have put into raising them, try to set a schedule, I know its hard but kids really need routine. good luck and if you come up with some good ideas let me know. I dont really talk about my anxiety/depression with my kids in fear that they will pick up my negative thinking.