All advice needed. I am having great difficulty dealing with the disrespect I receive from my teenage daughter.In reflection I beleive it is the straw that broke me this past year. I want to leave to protect myself,but I won't because of my sense of obligation. It is serious enough that suicide is a weekly consideration

Dear MadDog:
First of all, you must seek professional help right now.
I'm not qualified to offer any other advice at this time.
But I can tell you that I care. That you are right to come here.
That I understand this is serious.
I think others on here will be able to offer some comfort. So hang in there and watch for the posts as they come in.
You are in my prayers.
Mary Jane

Try:

http://www.loveandlogic.com/

Iam sorry to say there is no one in my location willing to help me.I have been turned down 11 times in past 2wks.Iam either to sick or not sick enough.I am lucky enough to have a large supporive family who is keeping me safe.All the mental health providers just tell me to go to the ER,and I think we all know what a joke that will be.I am thankful and hopeful now that I have this outlet.
I an not ready to give up so please flood we with knowledge

Hi Maddog,

I really feel for you. Maybe you didn't have problems dealing with adolescence. Your daughter doesn't realize how upsetting her efforts at adulthood are hurting you. How old is your daughter?

You must try to keep your composure and keep trying to go in to seek family counseling. If you have health insurance, that may be a better place to start looking for help locating a counselor.

I know it is tough on you, but no matter what, the S word is a solution that leads no where.

I will pray for you and I am sure that many here will do the same.

In His Love, Hugs


Gman5256

great advice , I started initiallywith contacting my health insurance for prefered providers but I am sure they will have more resources after I explain my situation.
thanks g-man
thanks everybody

I am really sorry to hear what you are going through. I was not the easiest teenager to deal with to say the least. My mom left me when I was 10 so I was raised by my father. When teenage years hit I was very argumentative and rebellious. It had nothing to do with the love of my parents I just wanted a way to vent and let out my anger in a very non productive way. I now appreciate my parents very much now even the bad they inflicted. I do not know what your daughter is doing but I am sure even if she does not say it or can act like the complete opposite. She loves you very very much. These years I can’t imagine are extremely hard. I am terrified of them. But please stick it out for the both of you. You never know what she could be suffering inside and just may not be saying it. Causing you both to be confused and in pain. Suicide is NEVER an answer to anything. Riding out a storm makes the good times so much more enjoyable and memorable. I appreciate everything with my son now. I think if I hadn’t gone through what I had after having him I may have just taken advantage of it a bit. Good Luck and know deep down she probably really needs you even if she doesn’t say it. You can do this and one day she will be thanking you and apologizing for what she had put you through. I know I did. Maybe you will sit around and laugh about what a crappy period this was. Sometimes we are the meanest to the ones we love the most. Unfortunately we do that.

Hi maddog,

I am so sad for you and your situation. I raised 2 kids and my daughter was at times a handfull and I had no help from anyone. I'm happy to say that she grew out of it and she is married with 2 girls, one is 13 and a half. When she tells me things that are going on she knows that I'm going to say well it's your turn now and of course I put the mothers curse on both my kids and it really does work.

Anyways when I was at one of the lowest points in my depression and anxiety I felt just like you do right now and called a crisis line twice. I just couldn't imagine feeling so down and hopeless one more day. I talked to the one lady for almost 2 hours and she told me a number to call to see a counseller. I did call and went to talk to her, it did help a great deal.
So my advice is to call a crisis line and ask them about getting an appointment with someone as soon as possible. Even just talking to a trained help line nurse or counseller will help when you are in such a bad state.

If you want you can PM me and I am willing to help if I can. I have completed the program and am doing great.

Best of luck to you!!!

Hi maddog,

I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time, but like the others said, the S word is NEVER a solution. I have four children, now all grown and in college so I definitely know how stressful the teen years can be. When you find yourself thinking about ending it, please follow monty'smom's advice and call a crisis hotline. One good and awesome thing that I can tell you is they do grow up!!!! Keep your chin up!!

kittylover

Thanks so much to everyone, I feel very safe ever since I posted this message.WOW! I feel like I have the family support I've been longing for.Don't get me wrong I have a great family but sometimes I hold back how I feel because I am afraid of their overreaction. I had a great talk with my daughter and told how I feel when she is short with me, It was tender and I truely beleive we can build off of this.

maddog I'm replying late to this, but wanted to say that I am so happy that you and your daughter were able to talk and that will lead to a more positive relationship for you both. Teens are tough. I would take back the terrible twos in a heartbeat some days. My oldest also has defiance and conduct disorder along with his ADHD so it seemed he was never happy unless the entire house was in turmoil. I remember the first time he bowed his chest up to me and asked what are you going to do? It was a long road from about 14 to 17, I wondered too if I would make it through. We both did.

hi i'm 17 and although i have never been overtly disrespectful myself, my older stepsister(19) is very much so first and foremost do not hurt yourself, do not kill youself, even if she is overtly rude your daughter needs you helthy and alive, i dont no how to hlep your daughter but i wish you the best of luck
karlie

Maddog -

You have some really good advice here in this forum. There are some really good people who have been through the VERY same things as you. Take their advice on use their experience in your situation. The common theme is that it DOES get better when the teens grow out of the phase they are in. Take heart and know that EVERYTHING is part of the growing process of life.

A couple of recommendations for you from me:

- Get in therapy with and without your daughter. Therapists deal with these situations ALL the time. That is what they do. You are NORMAL.

- Get a book called "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud. It will help you define the healthy boundaries that are necessarry in your life...with your daughter and others. One of the best books I've ever read!

Oh my...didn't realize this was posted back in Feb 09. My apologies for replying to an old topic... ooops!