My question is concerning my 20 year old son.. He has attended college for 2 years the first semester was good because he was out for football. But since then has registered full time but about halfway through the semester drops classes(at first just took the d's and f's) He hid this from us very well... He transfered to a community college and had a similiar experience. He does hold down a half time job and does well with this. Since finding out about this he has been diagnosed with moderate depression. He is on effexor, but I don't know if he is taking it. This semester he will complete 6 hours but had to drop three other classes because poor attendance. He said he freezes up, sometimes goes to the building but can't go in. What should we do encourage him to keep trying, tell him to buck up, Sometimes I feel like an enabler to keep helping him. He wants to rtry more classes, What would you do????

As someone who struggled for during my college years w/ anxiety, I can relate to your son. Let him know how much you support him. Let him know it's ok not to rush through school, if he needs to take fewer classes; it's ok. He may be feeling pressured to get out by a certain time. I had a friend who once said something to me that sticks w/ me to this day: "Everyone is on their own schedule." What she meant was that just b/c it is suppose to be "typical" for a young adult to get out in 4 years, but in reality most people don't. It took me 4 and half years, and I graduated @ 23. My boyfrien has been in school off and on since he was 19. He isn't graduating until next year and he's 26. I hope this helps.

college problems,
sounds like your son may be experiencing anxiety also. Maybe the job and college both are overwhelming to him. It happens to some kids. I can assure you telling him to buck up, wont help. Maybe getting this program for him might help, or even some counseling. What he is feeling is real and maybe doesnt know how to explain it to you. take care Nelly

I have a son that is almost 19 and started college and holds a part time job too. He recently told me that he was overwhelmed with the classes and work. He has to make a certain grade because of scholorship. I told him it was ok to feel that way because that is a lot on a person. We have anxiety and depression that runs in the family and mentioned that to him. I said you need to do what is ok for you to handle. Cut back on work hours if you can and I will try to help you any way I can. Giving him support and just letting him know if there is anyway I can help him I will. Also, I told him to take a look at his schedule and try to balance things out that will fit for him. I am the one who has anxiety/depression and I try to look for signs like if the is burned out, mood changes, anger and that sort of thing. Males are different from female when it comes to talking about things. One day he finally broke down and told me he was under a lot of pressure and we talked a long time. So, I think it helps if he can vent his feelings.
The main thing is letting he or she know that they don't have to hurry to get through college. I feel fortunate that my son and daughter are trying to go to college as I never did go. But, at the age of 40, I am working full time and studying photography at home at my own pace. Good luck to you and yours.

I am really glad to get responses to my email...It helps to not feel so alone..Any suggestions on getting to open up and be honest.. Or any suggestions on dealing with class anxiety. I am really disappointed with the faculty as he shared his problems and they were unwilling to work with him or let him make any work up. thanks for any help

I am a faculty member. I often interact with students who have anxiety and high stress. I work with them however I can, but the student will still have to meet the course objectives and complete all of the assignments. If I feel the student needs assistance I can't provide, I refer them to the counseling center. The students pay for this service out of their tuition and all of the counselors are licensed therapists and there is a psychiatrist available. They talk to my students about time management and realistic expectations and other skills to help stuents cope. I also refer them to the academic disabilities office. This office can refer the student for testing and then work with the student for whatever their special need may be. I have one student who needs to read test questions out loud so she takes the tests in a quiet room and is proctored by someone from the disabilities office. The only thing that really disappoints me is that the disabilities office doesn't offer the testing themselves. Testing can be quite expensive for a student! At any rate, I was disappointed to hear the faculty wouldn't work with him. Please keep us posted.