I am a Mom of 2 boys and I love them to death but some days they do cause me a lot of anxiety and I don't know what to do. I have a 4 year old son and a 1 1/2 year old son that get into EVERYTHING. It doesn't matter at who's house we are at, I can tell them no a million times and they will do it anyway. I also have problems with them when I am cleaning my house. I can get one room clean and move onto the next then I will come back in the room that's already been cleaned, and it is messed up again! I love my children, really I do, but that really stresses me out. They are constantly getting into things they are NOT supposed to and climbing on my kitchen counters and getting into things like salt, pepper, etc and dumping them out everywhere and not to mention their favorite thing is to roll a chair to the sink and play in the water. I have tried everything to get them to stop and they have also gotten in trouble but they are still PERSISTENT on doing these bad things. What other ways can I get them to mind me? I really need some advice!

you know what im going threw the same thing with my 2 year old no matter how much crap she will get in weather from me or daddy she will cry cry cry then go turn around an do it agin ..now ur dealing with 2 one is doing what the other is doing now thats what the problem is ,,

I've got no advice except try to enjoy the little things. I have 2 step-sons and share a son and daughter with my husband of 17 yrs. The oldest son is now 24 and is not my husbands biological son(x-wife's first born). The next son is my husbands first born. He is now 19 and is serving his first year in the Marine Corps. My first born son is 16 and daughter is 13. I've spent 17 years of just what you're going through. Not that I want to blame them for my anxiety problems but it didn't help any. Most people would tell you I'm one of the strongest persons they know(I hid it well-I don't know how). Thinking back those were the good days. Although the anxiety and panic problems were big then; the depression is worse now. My 16 yr. old son is in trouble with the police. We admitted him into a rehabilition hospital September 4 of this year for substance abuse and suicidal tendencies. The hardest thing I've ever had to do. He is back home and taking Zoloft. He has therapy 3 times a week including anger management. I want him to do this program also. I'm not a doctor, of course, but I think he has been depressed for a while but I didn't know anger could be a symptom. He seems to do good on the meds. but it's going to take a while, I'm sure. I feel very guilty for not realizing sooner and even more guilt for not getting myself help all these years. Both of my chilren have OCD's and my daughter at 13 is obese. I'm not one to air my dirty laundry- I'm actually a very private person. I just want you to keep seeking help however you can, don't sweat the housework, give those babies a hug and take time to read them a story everyday. Call on me,anytime, so I can remind you how quick time slips away.

Hi Ladies,
I so can remember the days my kids were young and into everything! I know you hear it all the time... but it is true... it goes so fast! Mine are 11 and 7 years now.
I was involved in a wonderful program called
MOPS.. it stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. It is a program for moms with kids from birth until 1st grade. It is a wonderful support for moms during this trying time of toddlerhood! Moms get together, the kids are cared for and you get a chance to have a snack, visit, do a craft and learn from other moms who have been there and done that! Check out the website and find a group near you! www.mops.org
Hang in there!
"The days are long, but the years are short"
Stacy D

May I suggest Jo Frost's (SuperNanny)book. You may want to try the techniques out at home before you venture out into the world trying them there. My GF has 3 girls, 6, 4 and 5 months amd it is a chore trying to shop with all the kids, ALONE. What she has done is told the older 2 is that if they get out of line (whine, cry, take stuff of shelves, give an attitude, beg, etc, etc) they will just leave the shopping cart, she will take them home and they can sit bored at home with dad or their aunt. She has done this once and her 2 older ones got the message. Actually she returned to the grocery store a half hour later and her cart was still there! But I have to say my GF, she is a teacher, very patient and goes by Frost's methods and SWEARS by them. Now all my GF does is give the girls "the look" and they get in check right then, right there! She uses the if I count to three you will get a time out method. Also the key she said is that she follow through with punishment (time out, taking privilages away like playing with a certain toy, coloring, movie time. I used the taking away stuff my step daughter like method (she was 8 when I came into the picture), whether it was going to the moives, out to dinner, baking a cake, going bowling, taking a musical instrument or computer time away, we did it. My husband and I needed to be one the same page and we were consistant as well. With your boys I woulod usee Frost's methods of sticking them in a time out and MAKING them stay there and if that means relentlessly putting back and restarting the timer, then eventually they will see their antics are useless and give up. IF it does not, keep timeouting and take away privilages like dessert, tv time, toys, outtings and make sure you tell them that they are losing out because they acted out, and the more they keep it up, the more they will lose out on. Nip this NOW! I see my poor aunt dealing with a 13 year old that whines, pesters, pouts and does nothing around he house except what she wants and still complains that life stinks. My poor aunt. I cam say at least your boys have not gome into a resturant, gone to tables and LICKED the salt/pepper shakers like this couples 2 twins did several months back! YUCK! You CAN and WILL gain control back!

it sounds like they are out in front of you, Boys are especialy curious in my experience.

nalexander; that get into EVERYTHING. It doesn't matter at who's house we are at,

children of that age do not discriminate wear they are they will act like they do at home were ever they are. my daughter used to take her shoes off in stors, I wouldn't always notice untill we were out side, and down the street then we would have to go back to get her shoes, we never wear sheos at home always kick them off by the door. so she kicked hers of at every door.

nalexander; I can tell them no a million times and they will do it anyway

you say they are not listening. Why should they? what is the consquences of not listening? we all learn from consquences. other wise we do what ever we want to, kids are the same, they need consistently the same consequences every thime. Does your no mean no? or does it mean "IF i wine I get to do it" or when mom looks the other way I can do it" no consequinces adds up to no one listening, and if the consequinces are maybe, maybe not, they will test the line, all the time,, they will test the line untill they are sure you are serious. My grandmother told me when I had my first, "If you aren't going to kill them don't say you will." they have to know that your no means no, and your yes means yes, at their age no mabyes! think before you say no, make sure it is worth the consquinces, because it means you have to stay there and watch them sit in the corner for 10 min. or what ever you and your husband decide are the consequinces, it always works better if you both agree and you both follow through, with the consequinces, consistency is the key, you only have to back down one time and they are back on top. "give them an inch, and they think they are the rooler".

nalexander; I can get one room clean and move onto the next then I will come back in the room that's already been cleaned, and it is messed up again!

"Cleaning house while the kids are growing, Is like shoveling snow while it is still snowing", you will be cleaning house the rest of your life that is our job. but the boys will not be this age much longer, they need you to play with them, one game you might like is; pick up the all the toys before (bed, dad gets home, you go out side, etc. If you pick up the last toy, you get to decide what; game we play before bed, story we read, song we sing, etc. Life should be fun all our lives, and children, need to enjoy life, you can learn from them so much about fun, and joy, it sounds like they are full of it!

nalexander; climbing on my kitchen counters and getting into things like salt, pepper, etc

This is dangerous, Life and Death dangerous. they could get in to something that could kill them, or mame them, when the senerio is life and death, stronger consequences, need to be delt, I personaly believe in capotal punishemnt, for two reasons, life and death danger, and blaten disrespect.

nalexander; their favorite thing is to roll a chair to the sink and play in the water.

it sounds like they are bent to aqua, fun. I don't know wear you are, near the beach, or city, wear, but The first thing you need to notice is what is their economy. what is a good thing to offer for a carrot, and what is a good thing they would not like to loose. Perhaps a pool at the YMCA, or the beach, with life jackets. would be a good place to wear off some of that energy, If they get tired they may even take a nap, and give you some time to do something for you. Naps are not bad for children, they phisicaly grow when they are sleeping I always figuered the more naps the bigger they get. I always put in a movie after dinner for my grand sons, and they had to lay there on the floor untill the movie was over. They usualy didn't see much of the movie, just beeing still a little bit and they were asleep. they loved the land before time serise.

nalexander; still PERSISTENT on doing these bad things.

the two of you need to decide the dgrees of what is bad, so far I haven't heard any thing bad except for getting in to things that are not toys, that is bad because of the danger, particularly in other peoples homes wear you do not know what is in their cupbords. there it could be very dangerous. but messing up the house, playing in the water. these are fun things, that need to be enjoyed, and then the the fun is over, and it is time to clean up, it is a consequence of all fun, through out their lives, the sooner they grasp that concept the better. "those who play together clean up together".

nalexander; What other ways can I get them to mind me?

My grandfather told me; "kids, horses, and dogs, they are all the same, Never give up, and Never give in! they are more fun wen diseplind, and they are worth the work if you are going to keep them".
My nephew is in the Army Reserve, his kids do pushups, they can drop and give him 20, at the age of 2. and up, they wine, and they do more. it does not harm them, but it is an easy and productive consequence, of not listening.

The botom line is if they don't have respect for you, they will grow up with no respect for any authourity, the older they get the more expensive those consequences get.

Love is spelled time, and I know you don't think you have any, but nothing is more important than playing with your boys, they need frsh air, they will get recess, in school, because they need to run, swim, just plan. Have fun with them they will never be this age again.