I am having a problem with people getting on to my child in a harsh way. She gets her feelings hurt really easy. I feel like people get on to her just because i am young and they think they can get away with it. I don't care if people get on to her. I just wish they would say it a little nicer and not her feelings. I don't talk to other peoples' kids this way but they talk to mine harshly. Am I overreacting? Does anyone else get bothered by this? How do you handle it? Being assertive is hard!

That is hard. I know being a young mom others may think you need help with it or something. Maybe getting up and telling them "I'll take care of it, thank you" will give them the message. I would not allow someone to say mean things, yell, swear, or belittle my child. I would have to stand up and tell them that was uncalled for and please do NOT do it again. YOu are the mom and with that it is up to you who you give permission to discipline your child. I had some friends that werent all the nice to my son so after a time I just stopped going around them. Now, after a few years, they are much better about it. I didnt speak up to them or anything because I didnt know how then so I just stopped seeing them much. Anyways, you have to make the call on this stuff and do NOT worry about hurting their feelings if they are already hurting your childs feelings. They are not more important that her. I treat my friends kids like I would want them to treat mine. I expect the same in return and if not then off they go. Hope this gets better for you and your daughter.

Reena

I agree with Reena. There is a way to correct a child in which you respect his/her feelings and the child can sense this. If people are being ugly, you may need to say something to them to let them know you and your child are worthy of respect and are to be treated that way. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In standing up for you child, she will see that there are times when it is okay to speak up for her needs and her personal boundaries. It's no big deal. It's simply knowing your worth and having the confidence to express it to others.

Hi i am responding to your post about people being harsh in the way they deal with your daughter. You have explained that you are a young mom and that you feel this may be the reason that people feel they can do this. I am assuming you are talking about those closest to you and your daughter maybe family or something. Anyway, I would like to say that i dont think you are overreacting I do think that you need to exercise some assertiveness with these people you are talking about. I do not know the whole story about what you are going through however i am someone who had my first daughter 23 years ago at age 18 and I experienced alot of interferances by others in her childcare etc. I had to develop assertiveness skills in order to deal with this as i continually was fighting for her rights as a human being deserving of respect. As well this complicates your parenting choices and style when there is a constant conflict involving others. This too will give your daughter a whole slew of mixed messages and she will not know who to listen too. In addition she and yourself will become extremely frustrated and stressed out. Also children need to know that their parent will protect them from harm and they need to feel safe with you. In order for this to be accomplished we as parents need to through our actions outright defend our children. This protection includes their feelings--- they also need to be heard and understood. When we allow people to talk harshly to our kids and do not intevene they grow to think that this acceptable behaviour and could potentially allow others to trample all over them when they grow up.
So really i do encourage you to stand your ground and fight for your rights and the rights of your daughter to these people!!!
Finally---once again though i dont know all the full details of your situation i do not think based on what you have described that you are over reacting----people who interfere and speak harshly to our kids are the ones overreacting!!!!

I'm hoping these are people that you know that are getting on to your child! I do have a big problem with this, especially if I am standing right there. I do not believe in getting on to another person's child unless the parent is not there or has given you permission. I will politely let the parent know what I like or don't like in my house. Now if someone disciplines my child in front of me, I will politely tell them that they need to tell me and I will tell her. It is not their place, especially if your little one gets her feelings hurt easily. Poor thing!