I just started lesson 4 today and I guess I assumed I would be better after lesson 1. Boy was I wrong. I think I have more anxiety and panic since I started the program. Is this normal. I have been going step by step and constantly worrying if I am doing it right and questioning everything for example: If I am doing it right how come I still feel this way. What if I am the only person that can't get this program right. I have days that I am really positive and know that I will get better, then there are days that I wonder if I ever will. I think for me the physical symptoms are what bothers me the most. For instance, the last few days I have felt off balance and dizzy, felt as if I am in a dream and can't come out of it. I guess that would be the bewilderment and numbness and tingling in my arms. These are feelings that I haven't felt in a long time. So why after I start the program am I having these feelings. I have worked on the program so hard to make sure I do everything right (that's the perfectionist in me) that I sometimes feel like a robot. I have to do this like this or think like this or eat like this or exercise like this. I am constantly thinking and wondering if I am thinking negative or positive and when I am thinking negative did I replace it with a positive correctly. I know the positive self talk is the major thing in recovery. What if I can't get it right. I know it's not because I haven't tried. I think I spend more time on this program than anything else during the day. Maybe that I why it's causing more anxiety. Has anyone else felt this way after working on this for 3 weeks and when should I start to feel an improvement. Please Help!!!

Carol-
I have been following this forum and using this program for almost a yr now. I always see people get anxious about this stage in the lessons. That lesson three really messes people up. It did me for a long time. I almost have wished that I had never come across this program for that reason alone. BUT trust me..in the long run you will be grateful for having done it. Having to stop and take notice of what your thinking causes MAJOR anxiety. I NEVER questioned what I was thinking before. All of a sudden I was thinking all these negative thoughts that had always felt like just "me" before and now I had to realize that it was not ok to think like this? How was I supposed to stop my thinking? That in itself drove me nuts! I found myself being "AWARE" of what I was thinking..constantly. O'my God! I was so over the top with anxiety. Not only was I over thinking now, I was having the physical systoms as well that follow our anxious thinking. I felt dizzy, palputations, fearful of everything, numbness on different parts of my body, and felt often as if I weren't even attached to what was really going on around me. I felt as if I were walking around in a bubble all day. A cloud of groggyness and fear seemed to encumber my world . UGH, YAK, it was aweful! I think that I had to realize that my negative thinking was causing my anxiety. I was letting it lead my life. I also had to take a step back from the lesson and realize that it is ok to think. Whether negative, positive, crazy, o' my god I am whacked thoughts, they are free to come and go. There is NOTHING wrong with us for having these thoughts. We are normal. Even people with out anxiety have these thoughts...they just aren't frighten by them. In the long run you will be able to think these thoughts without having a reaction to them and being able to filter out the one that are not true and harmful to our selves. Such as I am no good, good for nothing, I can't do this, I'm crazy, I hate this and that, I wish I didn't have to, it will never happen, so on and so on. Just focus on replacing any thought for now that is saying that you CAN'T. You can and you will. Let the rest just come and go. Allow your self to dwell and obess on a thought for as long as you feel it is bothering you. Then know that it is ok and the obbessive thoughts will start to die down. The more we fear what were thinking, the harder we fight the anxiety. This has really worked for me. I still obessive in my thinking daily. It is just what I do. Since I have acepted this I have felt alot better. I was able to go back over the program and acually hear what it was that I was supposed to be learning from it. It is working for me in the long run. Take care.

Christine

Christine:

Thanks so much. It is so nice to know that there is someone out there that has felt the same way that I have and that it is ok to have these feeling. I guess we are all just so tired of living with this thing that has controlled us for so long, but I guess it's even harder to get rid of it. I really appreciate you sharing your experience and advice. It really make me feel better and have a more positive attitude.

Carol W...
I just had to let you know that you no longer have to worry about being the one that the program doesn't work for....I have claimed rights to that title a long time ago!! Seriously, I got this program a year ago and was very skeptical that it could help me. I didn't do all the work and didn't follow the tapes in order and just kind of picked through it and picked what I though I needed, my anxiety lifted to a point and I didn't feel I really needed it. Huge mistake!! In December of this year, I started with the obsessive thoughts and panic full force...so I went back to the program...and here I am at the same point as you in lesson#3. I truly know how it feels to think that I am different and this won't work. I even have the added bonus thoughts of phobias now so I really feel like I am damned!! I do have days that I feel confident that I will recover, only to have days worrying if I spent enough time working the program or too much time or am I doing it right...so afraid I am not getting it as fast as others. I also feel like since I understand what is happening in my body and that my thoughts are causing this anxiety, then why can't I feel relief. I know, when I am more calm, that this takes time. I know that I am no different than the thousands of sufferers that have walked this path before us and recovered. I know that it takes longer for our emotional brain to catch up with our intellectual brain. Everything that I have researched says that this is treatable and programs like this is the way to do it. It will come...it just takes time and practice. One day, we will be writing to someone on here that is just starting out and we will be able to assure them that we have been there and came out of it stronger than ever!!

Many Hugs,
Diane

Diane:

Thanks for your support. I know you always think you are the only one going through this. It helps to know that there are people having the same thoughts as you are. I know I am looking forward to the day when maybe I can be the person helping someone through this and for the day that I can say that I made it through. We will one day be able to do that. We have to be positive and don't let the bad days get us down. Hang in there and good luck to you.

Carol

I too started to get really anxious during lesson 3. I'm actually spending in extra week on it and lesson 4; I'm not sure if that's a good thing to do, but I figured the first time I went through them, I don't think I took them seriously enough or was in denial. Once I took it seriously and realized how much I spend time thinking negatively, I finally understood, but then the anxiety came full force. It seems that a lot of people do go through this here at about this same point in the program and even Lucinda herself says that your anxiety may increase significantly....it's like you have to get worse and face your fears in order to GET better! Good luck! I'm right there with ya!

Keeping the Faith:

Thanks for your reply. I think it is just so much to think about in a short period of time. It's like you are changing your entire lifestyle in a matter of weeks. I guess that would make anyone more anxious, but of course we always think it's something other than anxiety (something serious). I am determined to hang in there. I have let this take over my life. It is with me every minute of every day. I just want to be normal and have a life. It's easier to think positive on a good day. On the bad days you think it will never go away. Thanks for your response and I wish you well. Take care!

Carol

Wow, I just started lesson 4 yesterday and I'm having the same thing! More anxiety! I really let it disappoint me too.

And then to realize that lesson 4 is about "expecting too much" of ourselves.

After all, it is a fifteen week program and this is only the beginning of week four.

Maybe we should go a little easier on ourselves? I want to be well today but I realize that's probably an unrealistic expectation.

Glad to know I'm not the only one experiencing this bump in the road.

Skippy:

It is really hard to try and change everything about the way you think, considering that we have done this probably our whole lives and we try and re-train this entire thinking process in a matter of weeks. I always wonder if I am doing the program right. I am going by the schedule on page C of the workbook. It only states to read the lesson one day and do the homework the next day. That just doesn't seem like enough time to spend in the workbook. I have been trying to read the lesson at least a couple of times during the week. I have been listening to the relaxation tape twice a day, reading my card everyday, watching the video as they tell you too. Some days it seems as if you work on it all day. Then for your results to be so disappointing after working so hard somehow seems so unfair. Maybe I do need to spend alot of time on lesson 4. I guess I do expect too much sometimes. I just have all of the physical symptoms of the anxiety: Dizziness (which I can't seem to get rid of) being tired, numbness, tingling, depressed feeling, unreal feelings, etc. How can you be positive when you feel like this. These feeling are real. If you didn't have these feelings we would feel better. I know it doesn't work that way, but it would be nice. Please let me know how you are coming along. Hang in there. We will get through this. We have come to far to give up now. I know I am tired of living this way. Take care!

Carol

Hi Carol!
I had to laugh when I read that you wrote that your scared that you'r the "only" one that wont be able to do this program and tht you the only one tht it wont work for and tht you'r probebly the only one doing it at a slower pace...
I SOO RECONISE myself in tht! hehe
I'm so thankfull to you for have written all your thoughts down and now I knw tht I'm not the only one obsessing about doing it perfect and all tht!
Thanx a mil!