I've had social anxiety for nearly 30 years--as long as I can remember. I have never ever ever ever been comfortable in social situations. I always feel awkward--socially, physically, everything-ally. To make things more challenging, I am also an intensely private and sensitive person. It's very hard for me to be around people and I always take things personally. I'm a loner and would rather be by myself than wish I was (e.g. when I'm in a social situation).

I don't know what to do about it, or even if I should do anything about it. I have huge trust and betrayal issues. I still don't want anyone to get close to me because I think the potential for them sabatoging me is too great. What's more, I can't ever see myself as a social butterfly or even someone who has friends and a social life. I know this is abnormal and that's why I try not to talk to other people too much, because they'll find out what a weirdo and how abnormal I am.

My social anxiety and shyness have created huge problems for me at work and in school. My problems are compounded by my personality, which I hate--I'm extremely meek, timid and soft-spoken. People tend to walk all over people like me, and/or look right down their noses and ignore.

It gets lonely. I feel empty. I don't see a happy medium. I still have no idea what to do, or if it's worth doing anything either, since the s.a. is such a part of my personality.

Leda, I will first have to ask you to get out of my head and stop releasing all of my devils. Basically, I have the same issue as you do. My biggest piece of advice: tell someone who isn't related to you and who isn't on this site. You will feel better to have it off your chest. Also, you have to suck it up and be pleasant at work. If you get fired, you WILL blame it on your anxiety and shyness and you WILL feel even worse then you do now. I'm not making any sex generalizations, but the relationship thing will be far easier for you then me. We live in a country where men approach women, so sooner or later a guy will come up to you. Do what I'm guessing you do. Take some time and scan him over, if he really is interested, he WILL wait, and because you WILL be able to see that, you can trust him with some of your secrets. You might say that is to embarrassing. Well, what's he going to do? Tell people? If he does, he's a low life and you can call him out on it. Basically Leda, you have to try to be more friendly, otherwise your not going to feel andy different.

I've struggled with social situations my entire life. The intensity of social anxiety has varied over the years and I know I have improved immensely over the past few years but i still struggle with it. A difficult thing for me is that I have a very light complexion and a tendency to blush, ugh! Of course when i feel myself blushing I get embarrassed and it gets worse. I still have difficulties with that. However, I have noticed that my social awkwardness seems directly related to my self esteem. In that sense, the idea of positive self talk is really important. I never realized how much I put myself down until I started to 'listen in' and now I refuse to let myself think such negative things about myself. One thing that helps me in social situations is to turn the situation around from "I wonder what that person is thinking about me" to "I bet that person is worrying right now about what I think of them". From talking to ppl over the years I have learned that even the ppl I always thought were so cool, calm and collected in social situations worry about what other ppl think. And when I get self-pity thoughts like "why doesn't anyone make the effort to talk to me or get to know me" I try to remember that I can't always rely on someone else to make the first move. Maybe they feel the same way I do. So I try to focus on them - often I try to ask a lot of questions about the other person - everyone loves to talk about themselves! The thing that has helped me the most was being forced into social interaction (via my job) and having to deal with situations and realizing I could get through it (and yes I did mess up but you get a little more comfortable each time). There is hope!