Please, don't be shy about it -- leave a message here.

I have been diagnosed with it (although my case is not severe) and I would like to email someone about it who has this problem as well.

I am sometimes embarrassed about my diagnosis and I feel ashamed about my slow social life and not being able to make friends as easily as other people can.

In terms of my professional life, I am not anxious about talking to people and most people at work would never guess that i have this problem. They just think that I am shy, outside of the professional sphere.

Anyhow, if you have any struggles share them here or sent me a pm. I'd really like to here from you!

I would rather scub toilets than go to a party. People comment on how long I stay at a party. I try to make myself go but only get more depressed when I'm on my way home and realize that it was a waste of time and effort. It all seems so superficial.

I find it very hard to be around people I don't know well. Hard to make new friends, speak in meetings, try new things. I even left a hypnotherapy training course because I was so extremely afraid of doing something stupid in front of the class. I hate how I feel most of the time. I really want to take this hypnotherapy class. That is what finally motivated me to do something about my phobias and fears.

Broonessa,

Is this a group hypnotherapy class? I've never heard of that before. But I do know that hypnotherapy in general can help.
The important thing is to do things at your own pace and take consistent baby steps towards your goals.

It's great that you even went to the class. A lot of people in your position never would have even wentthat far. I hope you give yourself a pat on the back for this and that you will be able to try to go again when you feel more comfortable with the idea.

LB- I know what you mean about going to parties. I think that people are "supposed to" like them so I convince myself there's nothing wrong with going and that it'll be fun. But when I'm actually there reality kicks in and i feel bad about myself for not enjoying them like other people do.

There's just too many people at parites and it makes me feel overwhelmed sometimes. When I can keep myself busy (like by helping out by refilling the refreshments and stuff like that) it's better because I am busy doing something and I'm not focusing on the pressure to socialize.

Hi Lilianne,
The hypnotherapy class was a course to become a certified Hypnotherapist. I've gone to a hypnotherapist before for things like trying to get to the root of fears and anxiety, etc. I came to learn alot about myself, and what the root of some of my fears are. Through hypnotherapy I was able to move past some things I couldn't bring myself to deal with before. It was a help to me, and it made me want to help others with smoking cessation, weight loss, motivation,, etc. Hypnotherapy helped me find the courage to deal with my "stuff" and dropping out of the course gave me the motivation to do something about it. Lucinda's program is just what I needed to help me get my life back. I guess in some ways now, I feel like I will know I'm ok again when I can walk back into that class and finish it.

Glad you posted about this topic - I think we really need to keep this thread alive for those with social anxiety. Unlike most other phobias, I think this one is especially damaging and difficult to deal with, because it keeps you away from other people: away from friends, relationships, even family. It also tends to severely hamper one's capabilities in the workplace.

I would be very interested in seeing a discussion about social anxiety and what people have been doing to overcome it.

I'm struggling with this right now. At this point, I have lost all of the few friends that I had because of social anxiety. This has even prevented me from having a job. And I'm really not sure what to do.

Does Lucinda's program really help with social anxiety. I want to know because I am considering purchasing the program.

Hello all fellow sufferers!

It sucks. You can't put it any better. However, it's treatable. I have been working with a therapist for a little over a month and a half now and have found some things to be effective. I am also on prozac which I have found to be somewhat effective (I have only been on it for a little over a month so the effects are just starting to kick in.). I have purchased Lucinda's program over Ebay (for $95, tapes however, not CDs) and it will arrive some time this week.

Anyways, my therapist has suggested several things to work on, much of which I am sure is covered in Lucinda's program (relaxation, thought control, etc.) My therapist has also suggested to keep a journal (not sure if Lucinda suggests that). As social anxiety sufferers we tend to forget any kind of positives that may have happened in social situations. We feel a huuuuge sigh of relief once it is over and move onto to the next anxiety situation, whereas a person who does not suffer from social anxiety will come out of the social situation and reflect positively or negatively on the situation depending on how it went (i.e. "I think she really likes me." or "I'm glad I was funny."). So the purpose of the journal is to force you to think about the positives that occur in the social situations we all hate (AND THERE ARE ALWAYS POSITIVES! Even though we might think there will be none). The way our minds think is that we will live in the moment forgetting about what happened last week, yesterday, etc. By keeping a journal you can remember what happened last week, yesterday, etc. Positive reinforcement is what it's all about. Is this basically what Lucinda's workbook is about?

I plan on creating a webpage on everything that is happening throughout Lucinda's program as well as my journal and everything else associated with conquering this ugly beast. I'll have it in my signature when it's up and running. Good luck. Let's keep this thread going!

LeeAtl - the program does not specifically address social anxiety, but I believe it is one of the many things considered when the program was put together. Instead of trying to address things like social phobia or agoraphobia directly, it treats the more general underlying causes such as distorted thinking patterns. This method is largely the notion behind cognitive-behavioral therapy, and is proven to be successful in treating a wide range of conditions. It's based on the idea that you must have a thought first in order to have a feeling, and that your "automatic" thoughts can be re-trained to not be so distorted. It is important to understand that social anxiety is based on distorted thinking patterns - people aren't really judging us as harshly as we believe them to be, and likewise it is unrational to be so sensitive to what others think of us. In the program you will hear many inferences to symptoms of social anxiety even though it is not directly covered.

Thanks Steve and Chaddy! I will purchase this program because I have faith that it will help re-train my thought process. I might even try to seek out some type of thearpy. But I am not interested in taking any medications.

So, what do you guys tell yourselves before entering a social situation? I guess my biggest insecurity is my acne. I suppose that it is due to the stress that I'm constantly under. I often look down or away from people when I talk to them. I'm also 6'4 and slim so a lot of people tend to look at me like...wow, he is tall, lol. Moreover, I always have something to say, in fact, I am very opinionated. But I usually do not say anything out of fear.

Lee-

I think you need to first come to terms with how you view yourself. I know I am a very self-consious person as well, and have started to try and change the way I view myself. For instance, when you are in social situations (even small things like walking down the street) catch yourself from thinking things like, "Oh, I hope they don't notice my acne" or things like that. Instead, replace those thoughts with things like "So what if I have acne." (Many many many people struggle with acne at one time or another. I for one did. It should not be viewed as abnormal, but something that is normal. It's NOT strange.)

You have to change your thinking patterns. You mention that you look down or away from people. Is that because you think they are judging you? Something I have really tried to do is to look at people when I'm either talking to them or even walking by them (malls, walking to class, etc.). You begin to realize that people couldn't care less about you. They have plenty of their own stuff to worry about.

I'm 6'0" and I know I would love to be 6'4". When I see guys that are that tall I think to myself that I want to be that tall. "If only I were that tall." Have you ever thought that if people look at your because of your height that they envy you or are impressed with you? Try changing your thought pattern to something along those lines. Break your habit of thinking it's negative and create a habit of thinking it's positive.

Thank you for starting this thread. I have been absent from viewing the boards for a while...I felt like logging on this morning and I am glad that I did. I haven't been diagnosed with social anxiety, but I seem to have all of the symptoms. I always just considered myself a private person. I like my privacy and that is why I don't like to be around other people. That's what I tell myself. Last year when my job was going well and I felt good about myself I didn't mind doing little get togethers (not a lot) but maybe once or twice a month. I was going to the movies regularly, I was confident. And then I lost my job and everything seems to come crumbling down around me. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Is this less social anxiety and more depression? I would be really interested in hearing some input. Just when I think I can put a finger on what's going on with me I seem to find another obstacle. I got this program to deal with my depression that I have dealt with for a very long time. Then I realize I do suffer from symptoms of anxiety...and now I am certain that I have suffered from social anxiety, but worse during different periods of my life. I have to say I'm beginning to feel like a hyphocondriac...and even more confused than when I started the program.
Jessica

quote:

Originally posted by lilianne:
Please, don't be shy about it -- leave a message here.

I have been diagnosed with it (although my case is not severe) and I would like to email someone about it who has this problem as well.

I am sometimes embarrassed about my diagnosis and I feel ashamed about my slow social life and not being able to make friends as easily as other people can.

In terms of my professional life, I am not anxious about talking to people and most people at work would never guess that i have this problem. They just think that I am shy, outside of the professional sphere.

Anyhow, if you have any struggles share them here or sent me a pm. I'd really like to here from you!

I too have social anxiety, and first did the program while in school 5 years ago. I do like people, but my anxiety often gets in the way of sharing with them. I tend to close down or shy away. I went to school for Chiropractic, and graduated last spring. When I started school, I also started this program and the timing for it to arrive couldn't have been better. It was a bit hard to devote the time really necessary to see real change on the program, so I ordered a coach in the hopes they would help me to stay on track together with school work, classes 8 hrs/day etc. I knew to be successful out in the field I would have to overcome this disorder. At the time the coaching program started, which was wonderful with a great coach, I began a new relationship, something I told myself I wouldn't do until finished with school. But I bent, and did so anyway, and it ended up being emotionally abusive. I am a very smart person, and never would have thought I would be involved in any relationship in which there was domestic violence. I always thought I had more self-respect, but the person I was with was very good at manipulation and basically had me around the pinky finger. It was very painful, very hard to take my life back, and exhausting. I managed to leave it right before graduation, but didn't integrate the skills of the program and so missed out on that opportunity, and also had such depression that I could not focus to sit for board exams and get my license. Now I feel my social anxiety is worse as I need to recover from this relationship and clear out my brain, and my first real passion in life has been put off for 11/2 yrs so that I can recover and study. I've moved to a farm with great animals which is very healing, but I tend to isolate myself, and for my job I am doing data entry at home. I'm doing this anxiety program again in the hopes that I will get back on the horse in life and ride off into the sunset with a happy future. It was my dream when I started school and began the program, and it still is but feels very far away and I am scared that it won't be reachable. I know with God all things are possible which is one thing that brings me hope, if I can ever make peace with myself inside for all the damage. I'm trying to stay positive, and this site is definitely helpful. I'm hopeful this program can still help if I give it my full attention, and really try to keep a positive attitude. It's hard to sit where I am right now and not do what I love for a living, it's where I'm at and I just have to accept it (I tell myself)...thanks for listening, and it would be great if there was a social anxiety forum!