People are going crazy! Kids killing kids. Disgruntled worker, angry family member, shootings and killings. Eathquakes and natural disasters.

WHAT IS YOUR FEAR? Something happening to you or your loved one?

DO YOU FIND FEAR IN A FEDERAL BUILDING, FREEWAY OR SCHOOL?

WHAT IS YOUR TAKE ON THE SHOOTER AND THEIR FEELING REJECTED BY OTHERS?

Yesterday I was standing in a long snail paced line in a FEDERAL BUILDING when I thought of the Oklahoma bomb. I thought, "wouldn't that be something if it happened here today." Then, I looked up at a TV they had there for the people in line to pass time. The news was discussing the San Diego shooting.

After the San Francisco earthquake, years ago, I found that there was a certain freeway off ramp in the area I live that I would entertain scarry thoughts until I got off it. I did not avoid it and now I seldom think of it. The thought was there because of the collapsed freeway that was shown in the news. I can still remember where I was the day I heard of that quake in the news.

PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS. I THINK THIS WOULD BE AN INTERESTING TOPIC!


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Victoria

[This message has been edited by Victoria (edited 03-23-2001).]

I think what's funny about my fears is, they are never rooted in reality.

When I was a kid, I worried about things like shootings and bombings and earthquakes and all of that. And it was very hard. But then, at some point, I came to realize that there was NOTHING I could do about any of that, so my worries about that kind of thing, real-life disasters, really went away.

Now, my fears are of the personal, mundane, or irrational variety. What if *I* get sick? What if *I* have a heart attack? What if *I* get stuck at a long line at the grocery store and panic? What if *my* car breaks down and *I* freak out? It's funny, because while these things seem so scary to me, I realize that, in the Grand Scheme, they aren't so big after all, when there are things like school shootings and natural disasters to contend with. Maybe that will help to put my fears in perspective.

As for *why* I think people go "crazy" and hurt others, I don't know. I tend to believe that if we all treated each other a little more nicely and with a little more concern, that would happen less. Having moved from a friendly college town to the suburbs, I'm realizing how easy it is to NEVER get to know your neighbors, and to never form relationships with people in your community. It would be impossible for me to know if anyone living near me was feeling so desperate or alone or rejected, because we are all very disconnected from one another. And, I think schools are the same way. With twenty, thirty kids in a class, it's hard to know who is feeling alone or rejected or angry or afraid. I wish I knew what to do about it, but of course I don't.

Good luck,
Lori

[This message has been edited by Lori (edited 03-23-2001).]

Victoria and Lori,

It's hard to know what goes through a student's head no matter what size the class is. People seem to think that teachers are omniscient. However most of the time, the catty remarks and bulying usually take place in a cafeteria, or hallway, or to and from school, and not in the classroom. Sure there are those students that other students shy away from, but they vary from subject to subject, depending upon that students ability in the subject area or their behavior.

Why do they do it, I don't know. But if we look at the news, or some movies or TV programs, we see that people do shoot other people who bother them. Having easy access to guns is another thing. Those students who have opened fire in schools have been able to get the weapons readily, whether from their homes, or a friend's home etc.

Sometimes I wonder whether parents have become so judgmental of their children, worrying about what the neighbors would think, that they forget to love their children and keep the lines of communication open. How can you not know that something is bothering your child?

As for my fears, many of them are rooted in reality. Some of them downright terrify me. However, I am trying not to have them dominate my life. I am a teacher, and I do worry about my safety and that of the children I teach as well as my own children every day. Sometimes things happen and students get so angry. I often what if about those students, especially if I have not had the time to calm them before they leave for the day.

As I have posted elsewhere, I once was threatened with death. The plot was discovered the day before the event was actually to happen. I always carry that with me. It makes me stay on guard against something like that happening again. Sometimes, it becomes so very vivid that I have trouble getting those thoughts out of my head.

I don't know what the answers are. All we can do is somehow be there for someone else. Who knows, a kind word from us may be all someone needs to put the gun away.

DW

Dear Lori and DW,
Thanks for your replies. As you write Lori, sometimes our biggest fears are not things that affect a group of people such as an earthquake or shootings in public places. It's what could happen to us individually such as our health. And for what ever reason we have a fear such as that it gets worse with anxiety,

DW, I admire you teaching with threats and disrespect from students. So to you it is really a possible mental image of actually happening. However, we know that often happenings hit those unlikely to expect it. Therefore, we are working on healing those fears of situations we can't control. And where we can, we reasonably take precautions that lessen the chance and then live!

Wishing you the best.

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Victoria

[This message has been edited by Victoria (edited 03-27-2001).]