I have wanted support for so long. I just started 2 days ago on the program. I am amazed at how much I am becoming aware of my feelings. It took me several minutes to start sharing because I was so worried about being recognized. I am a leader in my church and have so many look up to me for advice. I am really feeling like a failure right now. I feel trapped by my life. Every area is a struggle for me. Being a good wife and mother and homemaker seem impossible. Most of the time I do not feel that I measure up in basic responsibilities. I often wonder if I am making life worse for my family. I am nothing like I would have ever imagined. I am often discouraged and God often rescues me so I can keep pressing but I still feel hopeless and overwhelmed with life. Please pray for me.

Welcome. You are right where you are supposed to be. The new person is the most important one here and you are needed and wanted. I was a hopeless alcoholic for about 20 years and I can truly relate to the feelings of hopelessness and being overwhelmed-even in sobriety. It is difficult to grasp the idea of receiving the "gift of desperation", but when I look at my situation I realize I would not have sought the help I am getting without the "gift". Perhaps you have heard the example of the mother and her infant on the airplane. There is a problem and the oxygen masks drop out of the ceiling and the mother immediately puts the mask on her infant. The stewardess directs the mother to put the mask on herself FIRST because she will be no help to her infant if she is unconscious. Change takes time and effort and is uncomfortable. It's pretty simple but it's not easy. So keep it simple and just do the next right thing (it may be a very small thing or a baby step, but baby steps add up). Hang in there and again, welcome!

Thank you Uncle Mike for the same encouraging words I have given to so many before. I once read a book called "The Gift of Pain" which said that pain is a gift because it let's us know when something is wrong before it's too late to fix it! I often have trouble recognizing the right things that I do that are doing some good. Many say that I am way too hard on myself. Thank you for reminding me to have an attitude of gratitude and to embrace my journey. As I do my ability to help others will grow as I do. Thanks again. You've helped me to see beyond my pain.

MadameButterfly -
Your post really struck home for me. I had to comment. First let me say that you are perfectly "normal". I know it doesn't seem like it but you are. Christians get depressed and anxious just like everyone else. Just because we are "supposed" to be set free by God's love we are still human and subject to all the pain and struggling as everyone else. Remember you are not exempt from the trials of life because you are a Christian. We just know the Redeemer can help see us through them at the right time.
Read 1Peter 4:12-13.
Life is very difficult and we all struggle with it's meaning and whether we measure up or not. That will never change. You are yearning for something more than life can offer and God offers that to us through His Son.
Don't get discouraged at your struggles but don't ignore them either. Seek help from others. Shed light on them. Your Church will not look down on you one bit. They might be surprised for a half-second but we all know that everyone can and will struggle from time to time. There is no shame in suffering, we all do it.
God Bless and let us know how you are doing!

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MadameButterfly

Hello Madamebutterfly,

I know where you are we are all there for some reason or another. I use to repeat my favorite scripture in order for me to remain positive regarding not only my slef but other. Because of this disorder I have high expectations of my slef and others and I am so ready to judge others and am very hard on my self when I make errors or just do wrong.

8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.