I have 1 more week to go in the program and I feel worse than when I started. I think it is because you HAVE to think of it more often and write things down and it seems to have made me worry more.
Has this happened to you and if so what did you do?
Any responses will help me greatly. I do well after talking to others who can relate.
Thank you.

I have those days where it is hard for me to see how far I've come. Tomorrow go back and using a yellow highlighter and without looking at your previous answers take some of the questionnaires.

I have gone down at least 33% on all of them. So, like today when I had a headache, so I felt panicky, I can easliy think that I am not any better. However, I have made plans to drive a few errands far away that in the past I would never have committed to since when I have headaches I am usually worse than normal.

So what I am saying is that even though today could be rated poorly I believe I will be OK to do things tomorrow so that says I am better off than a year ago.

GOOD LUCK! Betsy

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Always Hopeful, Betsy H.
Marietta, GA (East Cobb)

Hi Dawn, Having to think of things more, write them down, etc.. can cause me to feel overloaded, and i have noticed that is when i fall back on certain ways i have always been with myself...it's very easy at those times to revert (unconsciously) to very negative self-talk and defeatist attitudes. For example, i had no idea why i had almost an entire week of feeling so 'down' and irritable, it felt like i was going backwards again. I wasn't, as i was to discover. I won't get into HOW i discovered this, but what i realized was that I had such ridiculously high expectations of myself, to excel at what these lessons ask us to practice and the MORE i had to do, the more i saw how far i was from completely overcoming lifelong habits. I 'knew' that if i was feeling so negative all over again, that i MUST have been treating myself in a less-than-loving way....otherwise, i would not be feeling so badly! Makes sense. I remembered to look at what I had 'learned' to believe about myself from the start of my life (negatives) and my attitude toward myself...impatience, intolerance, getting fed up, shutting-down, all sorts of things i'd tell myself about how i was doing...that could only end up making me feel bad. I'd learned this...it's how i was treated, and therefore i treated myself in the exact same way. I could 'see', so clearly, that the ONLY way to approach the practice of ANY of these lessons, would have to be with the exact opposite of what i mention above: with a great respect, with UNCONDITIONAL Love (loving myself NO MATTER HOW I AM DOING), with patience, and with no time limit as to when i have to finish or how well i must do! This may seem like a ridiculous analogy: - Last week i was standing outside of a supermarket and noticed a young girl sitting with her dog, a beagle. I sat down next to her and asked where she got the dog. She explained that she found him a year before....had found out who it's owners had been and that they had severely abused that dog, so much that he was blind in one eye. This little dog had been so wounded, and she and her boyfriend had 'adopted' him and LOVED HIM BACK TO HEALTH. She told me this took time, of course, he'd been in the habit of expecting the worst. And now, after giving him all this love and time to heal, he was calm, relaxed and happy. I thought of this just yesterday, when i realized that i must give myself TIME. And i had this little ritual with myself (my very young self) where i (the adult me) 'adopted' this young self and promised to love her in a way she had not experienced as a child, and i promised to be there for her, no matter what. I don't know if anything i have said is helpful or pertains to you...i sure hope so. So, relax.If there is too much to do and to write,etc.. take your time. Have compassion for yourself, find out what your own 'timing' is. We aren't machines and we are each a little different. It's not a race. Again and again, i am faced with the message i get from inside myself, which is "loving-kindness". Nothing can grow in the dark, nothing can grow without nourishment and love. God bless and talk with you again, Lindi P.S. When i got this program, i saw '15 weeks' and i imagined full and total recovery in that time. I was wrong. I hadn't considered that something fundamental in my life was needing to change. That all of this couldn't possibly change in 15 wks. You're allowed to feel good NOW, no matter where you're at with all this inner-growth.

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Linda

Dear Dawn

I think you may be feeling this way because people with anxiety have a tendancy to over analize things rather than just going with the flow. Maybe your'e thinking about things too much. Give your self permision to take a brake. Also, I personally feel sometimes you just have to let yourself "feel" how you "feel". Writing down every negative thought can get pretty redundant, as well it should be(sometimes we can be a little thick headed and it can take several tries to get rid of a particular negative thought). However, sometimes it's better not to fight with it and just let it sweep over you. Some people who run the program may disagree, but I've found that this is better at times to just let the thoughts and feelings sweep over you like a wave and KNOW THEY WILL PASS.

I would also recomend you pick up a copy of "Hope And Help For Your Nerves" by Doctor Claire Weekes, if you don't all ready have it. I have recomended it all over this forum and I can't say enough good things about it. It's a wonderful book and a great compliment to this program. She will teach you in depth how to "go with the flow" and how not to think about things too much.

Take It Easy Mellie