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Hi Everyone!
My grandma bought Lucinda's program for me just over a year ago because I was extremely depressed. I made the mistake of taking a break from the program, so now I'm starting over with it. I've learned a lot, but I still need help.
I'm so glad to see a "Relationships" thread; I'm very anxious and depressed right now and I'm putting all my thoughts on my relationship! Maybe I just need to get this off my chest:
I've been in a relationship with a great guy for about eight weeks. He's trying very hard to understand and work with and through my major relationship anxiety, but I know he's frustrated with me. I need some advice, please, as to how to move beyond my anxiety and to make this relationship work.
My boyfriend and I have a lot in common; also, he's fun and funny, considerate, hard-working, and respectful. Right now, I am so wound up that I'm not even sure I like this guy! I know it's a common thought among us who deal with anxiety and depression: "Do I *really* like this person?" I don't need to - nor want to - spend ALL my time with my boyfriend. I don't need or want to talk to him for hours every single day. I'm in an absolute panic about anything related to sex; even making out scares me. I am and have always been an extremely independent person and change is next-to-impossible for me, but I'm trying so very, very hard to change in order to go from "me" to "we." When we do things together, I can't give in wholly and just have fun because I worry about sex or about "What if I don't really like him?" or about what could happen in the future (marriage? what if it doesn't work? kids? what if they end up with a depression and anxiety disorder like mine?) or about, oh, pretty much every other thing that could possibly bother me.
I consider myself a good communicator and I've been explaining my depression and anxiety from the very beginning. I feel like I'm doing all the taking and none of the giving. I feel like he's accommodating me and my needs and that I'm doing nothing to accommodate for him. He wants and needs to see and talk to me constantly, and I (think I) need more personal space. Why that scares me, I don't know, other than the oh, no, what if we have sex? I've told him I'm not comfortable having sex at this point and he's respecting me, so what is my problem?!
My problem is, I think, that I'm terrified that I don't really like this guy, but I can't figure out whether I like him because I am so anxious and, to an extent, depressed. I want to know also whether it's normal for me to NOT need to spend all my time with my significant other.
Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you so much!
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