Hi i'm new to this but just to put it out there i'm 19 near 20.I've had problems before, but after my break up with my latest boyfriend, who i loved with all my heart, I have slipped into a new level of sadness.I cry everyday still and the break up was in august.Everything i did even trying to be his friend against my better judgment failed.I've lost him as a friend now and he has a new interest.I fear seeing them together.I still love him,but i think the only thing to do is heal and let time tell?

Hey,
Im a male and know exactly what you mean. Im new to this site and as such am open to anything. I never ever thought id be doing anything like this....
Here goes...
My long term girlfriend of 7 years only last week split up with asking for space, because she isnt happy and doesnt love me the way she used to...this came to a complete shock to me but understandable as well....the last 2 months have been really difficult where I havent seen much of her...this was due to both our work commitments and her studying as well. I thought because she would be stressed out, id leave it to her to get in touch with me because i didnt want to intrude and upset her. I guess she was waiting for me. She says that shes unhappy because she doesnt know where this relationship is going which is true. ALl her friends are now living with their partners and me and her aint. I never knew this was a problem till last week, but now knowiing everything, I really want to make it all right but she wont get intouch with me and still thinks she needs space. Its so hard. Ive had panic attacks, im not sleeping properly, im contanstly thinking about her and not falling into deep sleep and as such, im going sleep at 11pm, and am wide awake at 4am every morning, and then at work im just so tired, and unsociable. We started going out when we were 18, so we graduated from high school, university together and we started working , and work at the same place as each other (its a 3,000 man site so we never see eachother at work)....well this week has been the worst and still is...im contantly worrying about sleep, and worrying that she has found someone else and is getting on with her life with someone else which goes through me because I cant handle her being happy with someone else, now that she has said what has made her unhappy we should atleast give it a chance for 7 years sake to try save it...but because she wants space ive got to give it her. This week has been a massive wake up call to me and has shown how much i love her and how much she means to me. I feel empty without her...she is a big part of my life. The way im feeling at the moment, i have even sometimes felt a bit suicidal thinking, whats the point of feeling like this? obviously i wont ever go that far but sometimes when i worry loads it does cross my mind. I was in work today and i got a phone call off a man i didnt know saying that my girlfriend is sleeping with someone else at her work. I felt sick inside, She would never have done that to me. I walked over to her office, took her to one side, and once i told her she felt sick in the stomach too...i asked her if what i heard is true and she truely said no...truely believe here and think someone at work is playing a sick joke...although she has asked for space I have bought her flowers which she text me saying they were lovely but she still feels the same way about us too, ive wrote her a letter saying how much I think we are meant for each other, and now i dont know what else to do. She has these important exams next week so shes stressing over them, so im going to have to wait till next week before i can see her again....i just want her back, this depression is eating me up....i just want to have a good night sleep knowing she is with me...

Yes, I'm glad you put this on the board. It's been two months since we broke up and we were together for 3 years as of 12-1-06. I am hurting so bad to the point were I can't sleep anymore. I am tring to stop taking this anxiety medication, and its also givng me insomnia. As a woman, I fear being hurt again by another man and am scared that he might be seeing someone else. I know and feel all of you guys pain. What can we do when we loose the one we love, its almost like a death. I pray that we can heal from this....just don't know how. It changes your life. It hurts so bad!

Hey guys.Sorry it took so long to reply, but thanky uo for your comments. i truthfully know i am not alone now.Well i gave him his space. I went a month and a half without him and in the process of that three thigns happened. I learned how to treat me,I got closer to God, and He started to miss me.He fixed me a plate for thanksgiving to get me over to his house. THen he apologized for the way he treated me saying he didn't want me completely out of his life.We aren't together, but i can handle it alot better now. Even though all the realationships you mentioned were similar and had different lengths we all experienced the same thing after break. Can't sleep, i don't can any of yall eat the same. I stopped for a while and went from 133 to 109 in two weeks. I aint going to say this period is going to be easy but i can truly say complete seperation is the thing to do. WE love them, but we all got comfortable with them around and when that got interrupted we got lost. Learn to get along fine by yourself. If they love you they will come back.I do believe that and sometimes it takes them being with another person to realize that.(well that's what i was told) I still don't want to see that in my case and its been four months now we've been seperated. The only difference now is that i could handle it better if it did happen noow than back then.I mean i've dated other people.two to be exact in the last two months.I broke up with them because i knew they weren't what i was looking for.I want him. iknow that now, but i can't do anything but continue to get into new relationships until he decides to comeback ,if he ever does. What i'm trying to say we can't sit and wait for them no matter how much we love him. you gotta get mad. like i loved him/her and this is how they treat me. Defend yourself as much as i hated to hear people tell me this but its the truth. they arent having insomnia, they have their appetites, they are losing weight over us so why should we have to indure that. It took me four months to pick myself up out of this rut but i can guaranteei will never put myself back in this predicament.I sleep all night now, i've gained my weight back and i'm walking more confidently.I owe that to this program and you guys for supporting me. And i agree no medications, i took myself off of my. We aren't depressed we are grieving. there is a difference. it almost like someone died. i wanted to get better but not because of medications altering my brain. I want to get well because. take as long as a you need but don't stay there too long. I suggest renting or buying "Madea goes to jail" if you haven't seen it.one of the characetrs gets cheated on by his wife and finds out his son is actually his best friends child. he goes through the same thing we are going through and madea at one parts has the wisest words for him to help him get over it. it like a 20 minute scene but the whole play is dealing with this and its a gospel play.I found myself waking up at 3 o clock in the morning. i'd put that scene on and fall back asleep and i did that until i got in the habit of sleeping all night. i can truthfully say it helped me through, and its really funny. hoped i helped some.stay strong my brothers and sisters we all will make it through.i know it

well where to begin after 17 yrs my wife and i have decided to call it quits . she has said that she feels nothing inside any more but still loves me. she say that i don't show any love or tenderness any more. my anger and lack of enthusiasim both in the bedroom and out makes her think that i don't care .which is not what i had intended at all. we have spent the last week together and found that inspite of this we are going to remain friends. today is the last day i will see her for a long time. it was also her bday. my problem is i'm still in love with her even after all this .
i've been a gentlemen through out this transion. of life .where to go from here.
as if i don't already know

So sorry to hear that. Although I havent been married the break up seems the same as what ive gone through.
After the space she wanted she finally told me last week that she wanted a completed break because she still doesnt feel teh same way I do to her, and she cares about me too much and that I dont deserve second best. Im really hurt by this. To me this is just an easier way out for her? thats my angry side. She wont give it another chance. This is the first real low in the relationship and instead of working at it, being a strong minded and stubborn individual she has made up her mind and not budging. WE had a really good talk on the day she broke off with me and it was really good to still talk to her. She works with my mum. Shes been confiding in her all week. My mum said that she is very upset about the whole thing and shes got other stresses at home too. My mum and my girlfriends relationship is very strong and they both said that they will still be there for each other, e.g. if my mum wants to go shopping she will go with her etc. My mum also said that our door is always open for her. I have a similiar kind of relationship with my girlfriends brother where he has been calling and texting and taking me out to try keep me busy. He hope that his sister will see sense. Ive been a right wreck this last week. On my own. She was out for a friends house warming last night. Shes now single and im sure her friends have told the boys that will be there about it...just the thought of other boys even talking to her goes through me. I went out with my brother last night to bar. So many girls were there but no one even comes close to my girlfriend. I still hold her as my queen. This break up is extra hard for me because we both havent cheated on eachother...so I cant even hate her which would help prolong this pain...so knowing that its out of my hands is really difficult. PLus its my birthday in 2 weeks and then xmas....first time in 7 years apart....im not even looking forward to it... my work has been effected by all of this too...interacting with people etc....everyone said you it will get easier and I will find someone who does love me as much as them, but no girl is going to be as good as this one. She intelligent, beautiful, career minded, doesnt smoke or drink that much, good dresser, funny....shes the perfect girl....once she is ready to find another boyfriend she will find one straight away because when I was seeing her, loads of boys used to try it on with her all the time but she didnt do anything cos she was with me and I was happy and proud of that fact. Whereas me, I wont have the luxery of choosing my own girlfriend, I dont have girls falling at my feet like she has boys. Im going to be on my own forever, beacuse noone will ever beat her....